Lumpy Clumpy Clods

If I found out my nice neighbor who helped me jumpstart my car at the god awful hour of 5am was Superman? NOBODY'S GETTING SHIT FROM ME I KNOW NOTHING!

a) bro can shoot lazer eyes

b) bro is minding his own business, I can do the same

c) The moment I start blabbing I get involved and I DO NOT want to be involved with the day to day life of a fuckin superhero. So I don't know shit, okay?

My lawyer's some vigilante. Sounds like a conflict of interest but what do I look like? A cop? My trash collector is a superhero? Anyway, thanks buddy, have a great one, say hi to the kids for me. I watched my waiter at McDonalds absolutely throw hands with a supervillain. That's crazy, anyway here's a 30% tip in cash. Good luck with those student loans.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.