i get gender envy from 80s vampires

when i was reading the book entangled life which is about fungi and the author merlin sheldrake said that once he got his first author copies he was going to dampen the pages and use them to grow oyster mushrooms and yeast and then use the yeast to brew beer and then drink the beer with the mushrooms to complete the cycle of fungal knowledge. i was like really and truly this guy gets it

I’m not sure how or why, but this is goth as FUCK. 

His brother cosmo's music is cool as fuck tbh. The sounds in that song? Made by running electrodes through mushrooms. He has songs where every single sound comes from the ocean- the sound of coral reefs growing, of otters, of icebergs. He has songs about pelicans. He's a fun musician!

I know that you mean the "bloop" sounds in the backing track were made by running electricity through a mushroom, but I'm fascinated by the implication that he ran electricity through a mushroom and those vocals are what came out.

man you know the sheldrake household must've been wild with these two growing up

the other day a friend of a friend referred to "busting out of your abdomen like the alien from the Predator films" and I was completely caught off guard. like I guess that's - that's not wrong. the alien was. okay she was in the Predator films. well some of them. but like. she had her own. she's the alien from the Alien films. like. they have her name on them. he's not "King Kong from the Godzilla films"

there's also a reason it's not called an "abdomenburster" but one issue at a time

it's like when headlines refer to a famous woman via her husband. that's not "Predator's wife" she's got her own franchise!!

life is so hard when you love being competent and knowledgeable and helpful but you also love slacking off

Literally nothing more humiliating than wearing shoes with squeaky soles in public. "Oh look at me I'm a lil baby toddler in my lil squeaky shoes, listen, you can hear me running from across the entire building" I wanna fling myself off of a cliff

if i go to silent hill and there arent any of those thotty little nurse binbos trying to stab me im fucking stealing shit

My alone time is for everyone’s safety

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

(absolutely haunted expression, 1000 yard stare) Do yuo want to play with me this weekend

any tips for developing discipline? ive been going through life on a lackadaisical hedonist build but ive got a bunch of mysterious problems that i may or may not be at fault for

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

lets All lock in starting Right Now

literally what the fuck do you mean its still january. how is that remotely possible. its been six months minimum