fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

this could work. we never tried it

vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age

#vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can hit on senior citizens that are way too young for them

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

The Clarifier would like to make just one more comment