guy who needs to send an email so he completely isolates himself from the world misses out on every opportunity curls up in a ball and dies. and like 2 months later sends said email finally

my beautiful baby girl cheese toastie

my beautiful baby boy soup

i want freedom i want freedom i want freedom *is granted freedom* noooooo my attachments

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

Get your ducks in a row. Now get them in a circle. Get them in a Socratic seminar with that duck in the middle. Get them in a mosh pit. Get them moshing. Get them moshing.

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

we have to ostracize predators and 4channers and racists from all of our communities methinks

god i fucking love venn diagrams 

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

unhappy side effect of "morally ambiguous" being treated as the pinnacle of writing is that you will often be made to experience what a not so talented writer with big aspirations thinks is morally ambiguous