♡ Virgo needs an Aries in their life so that they have somebody whose wounds they can dress, ice their broken bones, and implement their grand chaos and disaster resolution schemes for 

♡ Virgo needs a Taurus in their life so that they can sleep soundly and know the world will not fall apart when they do

♡ Virgo needs a Gemini in their life so when they are worried they have someone who will talk so much it drowns out the harsh voices in their heads

♡Virgo needs a Cancer in their life to share their worries with and not be judged as hysterical or irrational, to sense the motherly bond or validation they feel was lacking  

♡Virgo needs a Leo in their life to learn how to honour themselves enough to put their ideas and talents out into the world, so they have someone who touches, holds, and soothes them in a way they can’t do for themselves  

♡Virgo needs a Libra in their life to listen to them speak without interruption and help them see beauty in their flaws, so that can also see things from their many points of perspectives

♡Virgo needs a Scorpio in their life so their fixed limitations of reality are challenged and they get closer to the real, spiritual plane. to help them decipher truth from lie in what their thoughts, anxieties, and premonitions tell them

♡Virgo needs a Sagittarius in their life to take them out for the night, make them call in sick for work the next day so they can leave work mode at home and take a break from themselves 

♡Virgo needs a Capricorn in their life to acquire the expert’s recognition that they crave and feel that backbone holding them up so that problems don’t seem so big anymore 

♡Virgo needs an Aquarius in their life so they can be comfortable exhibiting their unusual rituals and idiosyncratic procedures without feeling embarrassed or judged

♡Virgo needs a Pisces in their life to see the world from the other side of the mirror, to create divine unity     

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.

No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.

The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.

Scorpio:

Another

Darker Than Black

Devils' Line

Soul Eater

Tokyo Ghoul