I Wish I Had Tapeworm @lowpolywizard - Tumblr Blog

my favorite thing ab this is “that’s a flute.” b/c it isn’t

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segamascott

innerchildabortionclinic

jeanritchie

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

jeanritchie

tokimaeki

i just think they're neat

#fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #robin #virion #virobin #?#i’ve never considered the possibilities of this pairing but now my brain is turning

t0bey

might be addicted to awakening second seals

#fea #fire emblem #fire emblem awakening #chrom #robon #frederick #lissa

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parkchanwoohoo

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

godisafujoshi

Then they spit roast me

parkchanwoohoo

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

greelin

love & light

burgerdotcom

reblogs were off

16bithoe

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

limerentlink

this is one of the most iconic posts on this web site. to me

hoemoe92

10 year anniversary

smute

i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it's 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can't piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can't talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it's such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. "won't someone think of the children!" I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!

smute

thank god that the video game that features slow motion animations of graphic gunshot wounds and is rated 18+ has a profanity filter in single player offline mode. thank you for protecting this 33 year old mind from the corrupting influence that is a horse named apple slut

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tokimaeki

first meeting

#art #comic #chrom #how lovely to see awakening art

theweirdwideweb

freebroccoli

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

no-sharks-on-the-sun

they killed him for this

starofhisheart

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

ratbastarddotfuck

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

digitalsymbiote

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

transmortifried

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

charlesoberonn

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

anatomizer

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

podcastwizard

i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today:

Dr. Fangs: He Prescribes Bites

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