Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks