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@rattlesnek

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being a Bandit is pretty great. Just got a new place with a couple friends, in Doghammer Cave (long history of hammering dogs there). It's pretty nice for the area! Zero bedrooms zero bathrooms, but it's got a falling spikeball trap in the entrance and a couple big linear multipurpose rooms full of barrels. I put a couple gold coins in each barrel. Really makes it feel like home.
Our leader is Klade Doghammer (long history of hammering dogs). He's the only one of us with a name. He likes to sit in the last room (our house has a last room because it's linear) at a desk with a half-finished page of notebook about how he'll get revenge on the town someday. My best friend Female Archer Bandit said the people in the town don't even consider us human. She says if you stay a bandit long enough they kill you for money. Sometimes when she and I are alone on watch late at night I get a funny feeling in my bandit parts. I think I just heard the falling spikeball trap go off. We didn't invite anyone over today but I hope it's someone friendly. Being a bandit is pretty great.
Field of vision was great, I transcended
Death feigning beetle larvae also feign death
aaaah i’m dead and i’m a baby ahhhhh
#oh my god did gallagher just discover the term dank this is so exciting #does he know it's a weed thing?? there's no way right
Of course Peter Gallagher knows that "dank" is a weed thing. He also knows that "in heat" is a sex thing and that when aliens "probe" someone it's in the anus.
These are words, not things. Heathcliff is a comic about symbols.
You're never going to get a comic where an alien actually probes someone any more than you're going to get a comic where the Man-Eating Giant eats a man. You're just going to get a dozen comics where aliens like the word "probe".
Heathcliff wears the ham helmet because it's the helmet you wear when you eat a ham. You can tell it's that helmet because it says "ham" on it. The helmet's function is determined not by its form but by its label.
summer = beach = sand = desert = mummy and thus there is the Summer Mummy. Because of symbolic associations that do not otherwise cohere.
Robots don't wear clothes but the mere act of labeling them "nude" makes them nude. And once a painting is a nude painting there has to be a fig leaf because a "nude" without a "figleaf" is "indecent".
A "ham" is a ham even when it's a car. A yam can be a ham can be a car because "yam" sounds like "ham". Symbols have overtaken things.

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These two dumbasses
Grabbing an elf by the ears like handlebars and riding them but not like in a sexual way i just crash into a wall killing us both
Why are there just blobs of fake rubber meat that a bunch of unrelated microbes can build in the dirt but they've only ever been found in china and can't be classified any further than "biological objects"
Keep salting the wound I'm close

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nature-y witchcore woodsy fae merchant: begs you to support an indie artist by buying all these small batch handcrafted bits of plastic they ordered from a sweatshop
dark alt goth alternative vampire merchant: begs you to support an indie artist by buying all these small batch handcrafted bits of plastic they ordered from a sweatshop
cartoony secretly grimdark content creator: begs you to support an indie art collective by buying all these small batch handcrafted plushies they ordered from a sweatshop
cottagecore strawberry and goats and possum punk merchant: begs you to support an indie artist by buying all these small batch handcrafted bits of plastic they ordered from a sweatshop
I always wanted to fuck him
The card names in this set are really amusing
Ancient tattoos

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trans woman fiction author: the government mech that fingers you
trans man fiction author: the cowboys who cried and fingered each other
nonbinary fiction author: fingered by the crow gods
Mimic Angel