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fedex trying to say my package will be here by the end of the day when the package is still like 4 states away. that driver must be doing like 150 all the way here

I scrolled past then I though “wait that’s funny” and I reblogged

hazmat suit with boob window

i will be the most fuckable person on the cleanup crew

i have radiation poisoning

I’m not saying that resting my head on a man’s chest would solve all my problems, but it wouldn’t hurt

all cyberpunk stories are like “If you wanna crack open a cybercroissant this nasty, you’re gonna need a real top notch e-driller. i know a guy- Toledo Killswitch- he’s got the frag ordinance you need to grizzle this bocce ball.”

Hell yeah im a slut (non practicing)

murder is bad? even if i say sorry afterwards? even if i am an anime girl.

this is the worst website

give em the ol razzle dazzle

Why does the entire rest of the internet think tumblr is “dying” or “dead” when I have seen absolutely no drop in activity level on here ever

Would you rather twitter and reddit people move back here? I think it’s good people think we’re dead

( despite the massive drop in activity since *the incident*, my timeline has been way more sane since then too )

don’t tell anyone we’re still here. we like that everyone thinks we’re dead.