| It's Pretend...Really
âDo you like the way the water tastes? / You knew but you could never say.â
[Smut MDNI 18+; Nogitsune; angst/manipulation; cw dubcon; oral (fem receiving); 4k words] Void Stiles seeks you out, knowing how connected you are to Stiles--knowing how useful your guilt could be.
This work belongs to me, luckypunklemonade (Minte_Condition on AO3). I do not give anyone permission to distribute or share my work without consent.
âWhat, you wanted to keep me out?â
It was a minute after I heard a noise outside of my house. With my parents out of town and everyone in the pack gone home exhausted after another day of stress from the Nogitsune. A day of silence wasnât a good thing. I lowered my phone from my ear, trying to hear better. I said goodbye, thrown out of range from the microphone, and hung up. A minute after I heard the front door open, I walked out into the hallway. The only people who had keys were me and my parents. And Stiles.
Void was inspecting my keys. I heard them clink on the kitchen counter as he looked up at me and tilted his head disapprovingly. His eyes, under Voidâs influence, had become perpetually challenging. He watched me search for a way out, watched me realize that, even if I left, heâd still find me. Ideas jumped through my head, all futile to the body walking toward me. Void kept his eyes on me as he approached and as he walked down the hall past me, inches from touching me. He walked deeper into the hallway and I could hear the faint creak of the floorboards. I turned, needing to track him, but he kept going and stepped into my room, looking around silently. After losing sight of him, I found myself following. The front door, the openness outside my home, and the keys to my carâjust in Voidâs handsâmissing from the counter, it all scared me more than my familiar room.
I knew how everyone would advise against every step I took, their warnings of how dangerous and underestimated the Nogitsune was getting brushed off easily when I saw him where Iâd seen him a million times. The initial fear cleared faintly like smoke when I saw him paging through my notebook. Open-faced on my desk, displaying multi-colored scribbles and thoughtsânotes Stiles and I had written back and forth for each other, drawings to keep us both entertained. While I should have been worried of what he was gaining from the information within the notebook and what our drafted friendship told him, I was relieved to see somethingâanythingâroutine.
As soon as I passed the threshold, I couldnât pull back or regret the instinctual decision. Void pulled me in with his palm on the back of my neck. I winced as Void closed the door and pushed me back into it. I heard the latch click as he pressed himself closely to me. My breathing was the loudest sound in the room, slowly but surely leveling despite the discomfort of Voidâs arm across my collarbone. He didnât speak at first, just analyzed me and sighed with tight lips. He had a collected look on his face, almost bored when this relaxed. âLook how trusting you are. Like Iâm supposed to be here, right?â
âNot you.â I took in air despite the panic, glaring blanklyânot at Void, but at his pressure against me. I strained the words out, making sure every grain of hate appropriate reached his attention, âStiles.âÂ
He nodded, reached his hand up to force eye contact once more, and tilted his head forward at me. Watching his eyes grow more and more resolute through his eyelashes, I felt the familiarity of Stiles. Despite the pressure he held my chin with and the aggression in the way he held me up against the door. It hurt more to notice Stiles in all of that. Void kept my eyes on him, but had no issue letting his own wander. His free hand started by firmly holding my shoulder against the door, but it slowly fell down my arm. I pinched my brows together, confused, bracing myself for the pain he would no doubt inflict to benefit himself. He was going to break my arm, and unlike Scott could, I wasnât going to heal quite as quickly. I whimpered, closing my eyes, but blinked them back open when he laughed. He had looked up at my whimper, noticed the trepidation in my scrunched face, and laughed as if it were comical that Iâd even expect him to hurt me. As if it were comical how quickly I had lost my spine.
âYouâre gonna like this. You get to live out your little fantasy. You think it wonât feel good?â
My chest bloomed with distress. Fear, but also alertness at his words. His hand abandoned my arm, finding perfect space on my waist, pinching hard once. I tried to twist away, but he slammed my shoulder back into the door. I could feel my hands twitch, shaking between closed fists and open-palmed surrender. Defiance and defeat. I looked dazed and afflicted. That was something Void fed into. He leaned his head so he was speaking against my temple.Â
âYou donât want this?â Void scoffed, Stilesâs voice rasped like he was still breaking it in. I could feel his lips move against my eyebrow and I shivered. âYou think about fucking your best friend all the time, donât you? I wanna give it to you. Tell me you donât want this.â
Silence filled the space like water rushing into an air pocket. I had opened my mouth, but I couldnât even form my lips around a word. I didnât know which word I wanted to form. I pathetically closed my mouth. Tears welled in my eyes, wishing I had an out, wishing I had another option than lying or honesty. I felt his hand leave my chin, both hands now pushing my hips flush back against the door. Voidâs lips broke out into a smile against my hair and I exhaled out of my nose as quietly as possible. Any attention I got now was not for the better, but I wanted it regardless. I fought with that thought. I was ashamed to be hanging on every word he said, and a small part of me perked up at his voice, but then he called me out, casting my vision down.Â
âI donât even have to work that hard, do I? Youâre doing all the heavy lifting. Youâre not trying too hard to push my hands away. No, all that energy goes into not asking questions that yield answers that would make you a bad person. Even in your fantasies, this doesnât fit.â He pried my arms away from my sides, continuing to mock me with a rough voice at a low volume, directly in my ear. ââStiles wouldnât be this rough. He wouldnât hurt me. Stiles wouldnât say that.â But you donât care. All you care about is the fact Iâm touching you, promising to take it further. Thatâs what you really want.â
I pressed my lips together and squeezed my eyes shut as he pressed himself against me again, forcing me once more into the door. The air that I was stopping myself from releasing made me feel lightheaded. That, or the way he spoke to me while he felt me up and condemned me for liking it.
âYouâre wondering why Iâd do this. Why would I give in to your desire? Well, I feed off of pain, strife, chaosâall of which you feel and more when I remind you what youâre doing. Shame and guilt. Now, thatâthatâs a constant source. One I can exploit for as long as I want. Know why? Because you want me to. And that makes the feelings stronger. Itâs a vicious cycle, sweetheart.â
He finally pulled my head to the side, using the waistband of my pants to pull my hips toward him now instead of pushing them away as he dipped his head into the curve of my neck he had exposed. Toying with the anticipation, he let out a breath against my skin. Meeting no resistance, he kissed it arrogantly. When I felt the pain round out as he pressed the back of my head painfully into the door, I gasped, âStilesââ and felt him bristle. He thought for a moment, easing the pressure off and pulling back to look at me. A soft, incredulous laugh preceded his words.
âYou think Stiles would do this? You want me to ease your conscience? Want me to pretend?â His words were aggressive. They ushered me further back, and I almost physically cowered away from him. I felt him back away and my entire body went numb from anxiety. I froze. He slowly, firmly, and emphatically dropped to his knees, pulling my hands down to cradle his head, and looked up at me. Tears sparkled soon after in his eyes, and desperation laced his face. He was faking it, but the sight made me want to join him on my knees. Somehow, his position made me feel helpless.
âNeed you,â he said in Stilesâs voice, leaning forward and lapping at the denim covering my thighs, his tears and saliva soaking through the fabric. He put up the best show, pressing his face into my thigh with the urgency in his breathing and in his actions to match. I felt my chest buzz and my cheeks burn. My hands lay paralyzed in his hair as he pushed further using Stilesâs voice, âPlease.â
For a moment, the buzz radiated out of my chest and down my arms, making the hair on my arms stand up and my heart race. He looked⊠innocent. I thought surely Iâd see the Nogitsuneâs influence in his eyes now, this close, but they were as warm brown as before, now shiny with tears and ardor. He pushed his lips against the fabric, leaving them there as he continued staring up at me, multiplying the pressure. I was torn, but my hands acted for me before Iâd made a decision, tightening in his hair and leaning him into me, softening as his lips turned up. He turned his face into me completely, hiding his expression, his triumph. I yelped softly as he nipped my thigh, âI knew youâd give me what I need. Sâ what you do. Thatâs your role, isnât it? The empath?â
I stood helplessly still, tears welling to replace his, though mine were real. I shook my head. Anger burned in my throat next to the hurt. For a moment, I asked myself why Stiles would do this, then I berated myself for blaming Stiles. I was torn between feeling and wondering if those feelings were playing right into Voidâs hands. I stayed silent as he pulled at my weaknesses and kept talking, knowing it would keep my eyes on him.
âWe have something in common,â He kneaded at me. âYou like pressure. It keeps you pulled taught. Keeps you needy.â I felt like his second priority to the focus he gave to the texture of my clothes and my skin beneath them. Watching his hands chase at nothing over my body began to hypnotize me, soothing me out of the panicked nausea. Maybe even the guilt. I sniffled softly, catching his attention. His hands came to a nauseating stop on the backs of my thighs, running his thumbs back and forth and clouding my thoughts.
âYou wanna control me? Câmon.â Putting on Stilesâs cadence again, he bent my fingers into his hair, pressuring me to pull. When I didnât, taking a shaky breath to control myself instead, he bit my thigh. I cried out in pain, using my grip on his hair to pull him away. His mouth was open, half smiling, half baring his teeth in victory. He wanted my guilt and my need to clash and consume me. It was working. His laugh reverberated in my stomach, ricocheting off of the shameful want.Â
âItâs too late to pretend you donât want this. Take advantage of this. Take advantage of me.â Void dropped the aggression in his words, in his eyes, in his hands. Again manipulating me with the voice I needed to hear. I got confused. I ran my hand through his hair and saw the real Stiles in the opportunityânot even meaning to take it, just chasing him. He nodded, shuffling forward on his knees, hands inching up the backs of my legs again. He moved one, directing the hand of mine that was dropping from his hair to his own neck, tilting his chin up so I could comfortably feel his Adamâs apple against my palm. Void saw me hit a mental block, smiling at the torture he knew I was putting myself through.
I watched him slowly stand up, still reeling from the hot and cold of his attitude, and swallowed thickly. He pulled my shirt up, stopping when I refused to lift my arms. Fearing another hostile act, I winced when he looked up, but Void just pulled me away from the wall and herded me to my bed. He sat me down and tilted his head down at me. âTouch me.â
The guilt returned at the cold demand of his voice. This wasnât Stiles, and I was doing exactly what he wanted. Just as quickly as I had realized, I felt his hand guide mine up his abdomen, then back down to hook my fingers on his jeans. I wanted to grab a fistful of his shirt, I wanted to punch him in the stomach, I wanted to lean my forehead against him, and I wanted to do what that comforting voice told me to. My mouth fell open. I turned my head and hid my guilty glare. Void gently tutted, more so making the noise as filler between his calculated obstruction of my thoughts. He shook his head, ducking down to speak into my ear, and murmured, âDonât worry, angel. He wants this, too. See?â
The same plea that was more so a challenge. He wasnât begging, he was persuading. He knew I wanted this, just not with Void. With my best friend. With Stiles. He guided my hand and cupped himself with it, twitching when he applied pressure himself. He choked out a curse, eyes fluttering as if this were Stiles. As if this was something he wanted more than needed. I was starting to believe him. And then my hand moved, palming him. I wanted this, my stomach dropped but I ignored it in favor of the heat generated in me simply by hearing his well-feigned arousal. He smiled through a moan, obviously getting the best of me. Tears were still drying in the corners of my eyes and I was feeling his dick. I shook the logic out of my brain, blinking focus into my actions. My legs bent at the knee and Void quickly found his spot between them. He kept looking at me with need in his eyes like he was capable of needing me, but I had completely stopped looking past it. He maintained his innocence until he had my pants tugged down and saw the dark spot on my underwear.Â
âJesus Christ.â It was humiliating, and I wanted him to see it. Void pressed his thumb into it and smiled sternly. I bit my lip as he patronized me, âYou shouldâve told me what you really wanted sooner. I wouldâve been so much easier on you. But if this is what gets you wet, I never wouldâve given you what you needed. I can do that now, see? Look.â
He demanded again that I look at the dark spot heâd rubbed into my underwear. My breathing deepened and I glanced up at Voidâthis time without being told. He nodded. âYou want this..â
âIsnât that a little slutty? You want him more now that all he wants from you is your shame and pain.â
Now that his thumb was slipping under the material of my underwear, it didnât matter if he gave up the act for a little. I dully whined as he swiped his thumb over my clit. Voidâs words had been hanging in the air for longer than I realized, but he let them. He wanted me to fully lose the mental fortitude to fight this. He wanted me to take what I wanted and watch myself realize how wrong it wasâsomething I was getting the hang of before he pulled away and pushed my shoulders back. I let myself feel grateful that, now, it was into the bed instead of the door.Â
I let him brush my hair out from under me, lowering my guard because his actions were so familiar. Like I had seen him be this intimate before, holding himself above me. Maybe in my dreams he had promised to touch me, but he had always been this gentle in real life. It was another thing Void had taken from Stiles that wasnât his. His deftness and attention to detail. But I wasnât thinking of that. I was letting him feel the goosebumps heâd created, unaware that his silence was lulling me into a false sense of security. That he was thinking of what he could do now to benefit himself in this vicious cycle. He was smiling at all the plans, conspiring against me as he brushed my hip bone. With hands I knew all too well. The hands that pulled me running through the forest, the hands that knew the other half of our handshake, the hands that kept me steady the many times I had been scared in our adventures, and the hands that wrote in the margins of the notebook sitting on my desk. Knowing those were the hands touching me, it magnetized me. Just as I let my eyes close and my face relax into something adjacent to ease, Void leaned down and kissed my cheek just before lilting his voice in my ear, âYouâre thinking of him, arenât you? See, thatâs what I need.âÂ
I didnât even have time to savor the deceiving warmth of the kiss on my cheek, the way he held his lips there before he spoke such cruel words. Voidâs eyebrows were raised, taunting my visible confusion as he pulled back away from me, letting the cold air between us. âYouâve got a special place in his mind. Youâre smart, right? I got that much from him. Wouldnât be able to tell from seeing you right nowâlook at you.â
I willed his words into silence, shaking how I must look right now out of my head, wishing heâd find a reason to touch me again. I whined, the task seeming impossible with my eyes closed and empty space between us. I heard him question me, âYou want me to touch you? Want me closer?â
I didnât nod. But I didnât not nod. Void must have shaken his head, must have grabbed my chin, because the pressure I felt made me open my eyes. âThere you go,â He spoke clearly. âSo brave earlier, always saying what you think. Now what? You want me closer? Tell me to get closer. This is your show.â
He was putting the blame on me. This was my fault. I opened my mouth, convincing myself it was just to breathe, but I really only wanted to tell him to get closer. I practiced a vowel hesitantly before he gave me a taste of the power he was giving me, the liability he was giving me, and he came closer. I breathed in brief relief, frustrated to the point of giving up and giving in. Void leaned his head closer, half scrutiny, half testing. His eyebrows furrowed pitifully, like he was giving me hope.
âYou want me to kiss you?â
I nodded, suddenly losing the stiffness in my neck. To him, the answer was clear. I could see it in his face, the played-up blatancy. He made a mocking face, expressive as ever. He tilted his head to the side wickedly, âThen tell me to kiss you.â
âKiss me.âÂ
His kiss was suffocating, more so because I had little time to process what Iâd done in giving in and much less to prepare for him to do it. Void threaded his fingers up the nape of my neck and bit my lip, using the leverage heâd gained to continue the kiss when I flinched or when I wanted air. He left me gasping, abandoning my lips to messily kiss the underside of my jaw. When his mouth descended to my throat, I imagined the marks heâd leave. The marks heâd be free to leave regardless of if I wanted him to or not. I imagined the look on my face when he did it. Despite knowing his nature, knowing his control, I murmured half-heartedly, âStop.â
Voidâs head stilled in the crook of my neck, paused there in what I assumed to be shock at my audacity. He pulled away, though, with a complacent face. It quickly turned expectant as he watched me realize that he listened to me. He obeyed. He knew that what I said wasnât the end, that I would undoubtedly want more. I did want more; I wanted Stiles back. But the way he had obliged so easily and the small twitch of his hooked, downward smile felt so much like him. His hands were dutifully lowered to my shoulders, waiting for their next orderâhis body felt almost programmed to listen at that point. Full of the actions and words I wanted. All I had to do was say the word.Â
The moment had slowed, mulling over itself like classical piano reprising its prelude. I couldnât explain the naturalness I felt in his expression or in such close proximity. I couldnât trace it back to a certain moment we had or his scent, but it felt like something had just been shaken out of place. Not perfect at all, but he had created an empty space. One I needed desperately to fill.Â
âStiles.â
I said it plainly, but I was testing the waters. Void just stared at me. It shouldnât have been as reassuring as it was. He shouldâve laughed, shouldâve shook his head with the sadistic smile I knew he was hiding, but he just maintained eye contact, kept me thinking about what I wanted instead of what I should do. âTouch me.â
His hands easily glided down my torso, his whole hand retained touch, bunching my t-shirt up and applying just enough inward pressure that made me want to hum. I felt deprived of any touch, just at the threshold of getting what I needed. Void was spoonfeeding me the solutions to my frustrations. The solutions I would usually never act on. I reached up, a heightened sense of touch flaring into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him to kiss me. He yielded cruelly. And his hands continued cruelly down, fluidly rounding the indentation of my hip. He returned the fervor I had initiated the kiss with. Slow, hedonistic, and indulgentâthough I wasnât sure for whose pleasure.
Void tapped the outside of my thigh, always making his next move my choice, my responsibility. I nodded into the kiss, and he rewarded my selfishness with more passion. His devotion to chaos translated well into this kind of corrupted gratification, and his connection to Stiles made it all the more eager. He didnât hesitate applying pressure with the heel of his palm when I bucked into his hand, and he wordlessly asked once again for my approval as he started pulling himself down my body. Once again, I encouraged him; I nodded as my legs straightened to easier slide my underwear off.Â
He hovered for a good minute, both waiting for that nod and observing my immoral self-gratification. Without reminding me, he fixed his gaze on me and, at my affirmation, pressed his tongue against my clit. He stared into me as he applied more and more pressure, eyes unwavering even as I tipped my head back and whimpered. I was overtaken by the warmth of his mouth, dizzy from the mental exertion, and finding myself seeking his stare. I stopped myself from gasping for a name I knew didnât belong to Void. I held my breath, then moaned it out and scratched at his shoulder when he pushed his head between my legs with a little more force in direct opposition to how painfully slow he was eating me out. As slow as his blinking up at me, Void kissed my cunt before circling his thumb over the mess he had made of me. With how heavy my head was, I leaned it back against the sheets. Void stopped, one hand stroking his fingers up and down my inner thigh. He licked his lips and said my name inquisitively, vying for the moment Iâd look back down at him.
âYouâre gonna wanna remember this.â As much as he knew I wouldnât, he lowered his grin back down between my legs.
THISSS
SKSKJSKSKS
ITâS SO GOOD














