Losing the Wait

I am so impressed

this is the best one

harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson

“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”

“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”

BE A REBEL AND ROMANCE YOURSELF. BUY YOURSELF A DOZEN RED ROSES. TAKE LONG BUBBLE BATHS. TREAT YOURSELF TO DELICIOUS MEALS. VIVA LA ANARCHIST AFFECTION

im just gonna buy myself discounted chocolate but thank u

YOU DESERVE FULL-PRICE GOURMET TRUFFLES BUT THAT’S YOUR CHOICE AND I APPLAUD YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

I love the polite yet yelled encouragement here.

i can’t wait for all the male tears

@me

pussy game so strong it scared the devil

no but literally that is what is happening, there have been long periods of western history where spirits were said t be frightened by the site of lady business. Sailor’s wives used to flash their husbands ships (mind you this was a time before underwear so you just lifted your petticoats and BAM) in order to scare away the spirits and devils that made storms. A woman could flash her crops to keep away spirits that might ruin them.This was also back when the vagoo was seen as something taboo and horrible so literally looking directly at some labia was thought to be so scary the devil would poop himself. Misogyny so intense it gave the pussy superpowers. 

I burn like 2000 calories everytime i put my bed sheets on by myself

All the time.

Legit inspiration

the only running i do is running out of money