what

changing your sheets is the hardest thing in the whole world who the fuck cares about sisyphus and his stupid rock i have to take the sheets off my bed and then put new ones on and then in a little bit? ill have to do it again

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

How fucking old are you people?

normal amount

What's the trope name for when someone finds out they're the Chosen One(tm) and is like "No, thank you" and goes and does something else

Refusal Of The Call is the actual trope name.  Usually followed by the tropes of The Call Knows Where You Live and You Can’t Fight Fate.

The Call is Trying to Contact you about your Destiny's Extended Warranty.

i want every child to have a happy, loving and safe childhood that they don’t have to recover from

i think my favorite thing about birds is how unapologetically and effectively violent they are about anything they don't like. and i'm not just talking about birds like geese and swans and eagles and magpies. even a flock of tiny little sparrows can beat the shit out of you if they decide you're looking at them the wrong way. if the rapture happened and a chicken decided to take issue with it that chicken would fight god and i honestly can't tell you for sure that god would win that fight.

Why is it that when you start eating eggs you also have to suffer a race against time before your brain decides to make eating eggs unbearable

attempt to move an image in a word document leaves 7 dead 20 injured

listening to music isn’t enough anymore i need to eat it

also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.

Deep down we all want to bite someone hard as shit. Jaw power on 100% for like 5 to 8 seconds. Just once.