lonicera

I, and many others in aspec spaces, have recently seen a rise in infighting, exclusionism, erasure, etc. and it's getting genuinely exhausting. I strongly encourage everyone to take a step back, consider what's happening and how others are feeling, and remember that other aspecs are not your enemies. Amatonormativity, allonormativity, compulsory sexuality, etc are the enemy.

I have been seeing attacks coming from all sides of aspec communities, and it makes me feel ill to think about. I get the frustrations that everyone is raising, I truly do, but taking things to the point of personal insults, stereotyping, exclusionism, and general cruelty helps no one, and only leads to further issues.

I am, personally, a romance and sex averse/repulsed (depends on the day), non-partnering, bold-stripe aroace (I experience no romantic or sexual attraction). I want to be very clear about where I fall on the aroace-spectrum, because it is relevant to my interpretations of what has been happening and my exposure to it.

I have, unfortunately, seen a lot of cruel comments about my type of aroaceness (which, for simplicity's sake, I will be calling "the far end of the aroace spectrum"). Not just on Tumblr, but on Reddit, on Twitter, and on Bluesky. Things like calling people on the far end of the spectrum: heartless, robotic, monsters, evil, bad stereotypes.

Often, this sort of thing is in reference to a character (and their desire to ship a character) but saying "But aros/aces can date and have sex! This [aro/ace] doesn't have to be a heartless monster!" or "I'm headcanoning this character as alloromantic demisexual because not all aces are that bad stereotype!" are direct insults towards me and my orientation. It's inherently implying that there is something wrong with my identity, and that only those who are grey-aspec or favorable are okay. It's implying that anyone on the far end of the spectrum is somehow lesser, bad, or broken.

My being romance/sex-repulsed is part of my orientation and identity, not just a preference. My being non-partnering is part of my orientation and identity, not just a preference. My being a bold-stripe aroace is part of my orientation and identity, not just a preference. These are immutable characteristics of myself that I keep seeing get insulted and demonized. And that demonization is aphobia.

Aspec people are not immune to being aphobic, especially via unconcious biases influenced by allonormativity. I am not immune to being aphobic. I have had to do serious work to set aside my biases and open myself up to understanding identities like aplatonic and afamilial when I first learned about them. Hell, my internalized arophobia was so bad that I didn't realize that I was aromantic for years.

Shipping a character is one thing. Using aphobic and allonormative arguments to justify doing so is another entirely, and it feels like no one is bringing this up.

No one, that is, except for exclusionists.

Because, apparently, aspec gatekeeping is back, and I am sick and tired of this bullshit. Grey aces are ace. Demi aces are ace. Cupio aces and aego aces and acefluxes and acespikes and every other acespec microlabel under the sun is ace. And the same goes for the arospec, aplspec, afamspec, etc.

Asexuality, at it's most simple and widely accepted definition, is experiencing little to no sexual attraction. I feel like this conversation has been had 7,000 times and I don't know what else I can say that hasn't already been said.

I don't even know what else to add, except that if anyone tries to exclude my fellow aspecs from this community, they will be blocked from every single one of my blogs, IMMEDIATELY, without question. If you think that aspec identities that are favorable or indifferent or partnering or experience that little attraction aren't part of this community, go ahead and block me, too. I'm tired of aspec exclusionism and gatekeeping.

Also, let's not forget that plenty of allos are being weird about all aspec identities in this whole mess. The number of alloroses I see talking about "but it's a spectrum!" and then absolutely not representing or considering that at all in their shipping is actually disgusting.

Like, how disrespectful is it to demisexuality for an allosexual person to say they intend to write character as demisexual, only to not at all represent or consider any of the ways that being demisexual might affect the character or their relationships or anything, and just treat them as just "a bit prudish"? (this is an actual thing I have seen pretty frequently). It seems so objectifying! It's like weaponizing someone's identity just to not even give them what was promised!

Or how so many people tend to treat QPRs as "romance lite", when they are not at all the same thing!

Like, that phrasing actually reeks of aphobia and allonormativity (consciously or not).

Asexuality is not a lack of sexual attraction, it's experiencing little to no sexual attraction. Aromanticism is not a lack of romantic attraction, it's experiencing little to no romantic attraction.

I do not experience sexual or romantic attraction, but I don't "lack" those things. Lack implies a deficiency, a sense of incompleteness or wrongness. To lack something means that you are lacking in it, and inherently assumes that's a bad thing. That might not be the intention, but the word "lack" is just so pathologizing that I just hate using it to describe something like orientation.

My orientation is not a problem or an absence of something, it's just what I am.

30-49 is MATURE.

March will be filled with love.

March will be filled with trust.

March will be filled with peace.

March will be filled with clarity.

March will be filled with miracles.

I know this is quite the argument to get myself involved in, but this is a really important subject to me. I want to be clear that this is not inherently a criticism of shipping Alastor in general. Shipping/not shipping aroace characters is a whole separate discussion, one that I don't care to get involved with right now. To summarize my stance on that: the most realistic answer is to tag your stuff properly, and block the tags you don't want to see.

Here I'm going to be looking at all of the previous Valentine's Day merch and promos, starting with this year's. Huge, HUGE shout out to @vivziepoparchives because that's where I found several of the merch and promo images.

Let's start with this year's Valentine's Day merch - 2026

The main thing we have featuring Alastor is a keychain with the hotel crew. Alastor is in the top right corner, holding a single, pale pink rose. He is turned away from the rest of the hotel crew, who are all holding Valentine's pillows. Charlie and Vaggi's pillow reads "I ❤️ You", Lucifer's pillow reads "My Love", Cherri's pillow and Pentious's pillows both read "XOXO", Abel's pillow reads "Be Mine", and the Vees have two pillows, one which I can't read (it might say "Trust Me"?), and the other reads "Bite Me". And Husk's pillow looks like a broken heart (please ignore my sobbing).

It's already interesting that Alastor isn't holding a pillow, an indication that he isn't celebrating Valentine's Day the same way as the others (literally everyone else in the hotel crew has a pillow except him), but the choice of a single pink rose is very significant.

Fun fact, but a lesser known but still-used equivalent term for "aroace" is "arose". For example, when discussing non-romantic, non-sexual attraction, that is arose attraction. Someone who is aegoromantic and aegosexual might call themselves aegorose. I usually call myself aroace, but I could also call my self arose. Alastor is holding a rose. A rose. Arose.

But it's deeper than that, too. Red roses are the most commonly known flower symbol, and they symbolize passionate, romantic love. Pink roses, on the other hand, do not inherently symbolize romance. The first connotation of pink roses is gratitude and joy. Pink roses are usually considered a safe gift to give to friends and family, because they are not as heavily associated with romantic love as red roses. They CAN symbolize romance, but that is not their primary meaning.

Here are two screenshots from articles about the symbolism of pink roses.

"A classic symbol of grace and elegance, the pink rose is often given as a token of admiration and appreciation, they are the gentlest of roses and relay that message through their grace. Whether they're for your best friend, fiancée, or ever-dependable co-worker, a pink rose bouquet will create a bright spot in a special someone's day. Pink rose meaning: sweetness, admiration, and joy."

"The symbolism of pink roses Pink roses embody grace, gentleness, and joy. Their symbolism can vary depending on the shade. Light pink roses: Often associated with sweetness, innocence, and admiration, these roses are perfect for expressing gratitude or celebrating new beginnings. Their delicate charm conveys a sense of softness and warmth, making them ideal for meaningful gestures like thank-you bouquets or birthday arrangements. Medium pink roses: Representing elegance and cheerfulness, these roses strike a balance between playfulness and sophistication. They are often gifted to celebrate milestones, recognize achievements, or express heartfelt emotions. Dark pink roses: With their vibrant hues, these roses symbolize appreciation, gratitude, and recognition. They are often chosen to express thanks to loved ones, mentors, or friends. Unlike red roses, which are closely tied to passionate love, pink roses evoke a softer sentiment. They are the perfect choice for subtle declarations of affection or admiration without the intensity that red roses convey."

It is also significant that he is holding a single rose.

"Pink rose: Grace and gratitude: a solitary pink rose conveys gracefulness, gratitude, and admiration Elegance: it reflects a sense of elegance and sweetness"

Alastor seems to have given himself a single pink rose, essentially saying he admires himself and he's grateful for himself and I absolutely love that for him.

We also got these standees. Three couples, and three singles. Angel Dust, Lucifer, and Alastor are the singles. Angel Dust and Lucifer make sense as singles since they are both currently separated from their love interests. (Lilith being in Heaven and Husk being at the hotel while Angel is back with Val).

Alastor's standee, though, is interesting. The exact same background was used for all six standees, but only in Alastor's can we easily see the part of the design that features a heart split in half. Look over Alastor's shoulder, on the right side, and you can see it. It is only obvious on Alastor's standee, no one elses.

The final interesting piece of merch is this promo card, "Valentine's Day in Hell," which features the hotel crew making Valentine's cards. If you look closer at Alastor's card, it says "To me" and "Smile". Alastor made himself a Valentine's day card.

Now, let's move on to 2025. I discussed this very briefly in the original post, but lets look at it more closely.

2025 is when we got Alastor's "Love Yourself" keychain, which might not be aroace-coded if not for what all the other Valentine's Day keychains from 2025 were like.

"Love You", "F*** Me", "Be Mine", and "Miss You."

The three couples keychains are all overtly romantic/sexual, and the only other character with a solo keychain (Lucifer) is saying he misses his wife (Lilith).

The contrast here is telling, and definitely further indicates that Alastor is aroace.

2024

In 2024, we got a playmat with an image of Alastor, but I'd like you to notice that, while he is surrounded by hearts, they are all either stitched together or broken. While the stitches do fit his aesthetic, it's also an interesting choice for an artwork where he does NOT have any of the stitches showing on himself at the moment.

2023

In 2023, we got a T-shirt design that has Alastor surrounded by broken hearts and he is breaking a heart right in front of us. More stitches, but those actually do tie into his outfit this time.

2022

In 2022, we got these cute little Valentine's cards. Notice that most are explicitly romantic/sexual, while Alastor's very specifically uses the word "friend". Again, the contrast between his depiction and the others' is what's most telling.

First article referenced

Second article referenced

The response to "aro people are just heartless freaks!" Shouldn't be "aro people can still feel love!" And instead be "not feeling love or other emotions doesn't make you a bad person."

The reason it was so important for narrative purposes, was that the plot concerns the visit of the Astronaut, in his completely opaque spacesuit, to a planet populated entirely by self-aware robots (originally from Earth) who have built their own society and are petitioning to be allowed to interact with Earth again as equals.

They have a democratic government and free choice of careers etc. as the orange robot serving as guide tells the Astronaut.

The Astronaut notices that there are two different types of robot on this world; the orange ones, who are in charge, gifted access to all information and facilities. and the blue robots, who are seen as more limited in function, have less access to information and resources, and are not allowed positions of power or as wide a choice of employment opportunities. Even transportation is segregated.

The Astronaut investigates further and discovers that the blue and orange robots are actually structurally identical, there is absolutely no difference between their potential or capabilities, and it is only because the orange robots are instructed by their Educator system to consider themselves superior, that the difference exists.

The Astronaut tells the robots they are not ready for re-alignment with Earth, until they come to terms with their own unfairness, and how Earth had had to deal with this issue themselves. When that time comes, the robots will be able to ally with Earth.

Then he leaves in his spaceship, and it's only in that one final panel that we see the Astronaut is black.

Not subtle, nor should it be, but for 1950 this was a breathtakingly powerful statement, perhaps the first of it's kind in the genre.