Everything Is Fine, Everything Is Fucking Fine

Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the character of all time. I'm almost inclined to ask "What's his fucking PROBLEM???" but he thoroughly explains his problem in every episode

Sick list of symptoms bro. Now try humanizing your behavior instead of pathologizing it.

If you run over someone's foot with your wheelchair you still apologise

Feel the blood on your skin

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

Textbook definition of skedaddle.

sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

the kink bloggers found this post and are putting horny stuff in my notifications but I'm not even mad. the sluts are in the notes of the slut positivity post. all is as it should be.

you know who else works in mysterious ways? me.

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes