Everything Is Fine, Everything Is Fucking Fine

every now and then the neighbour's kid, who knows he'll get in trouble if he climbs in his dad's car and just leans on the horn, decides it's worth the consequences and treats himself. and that's real

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

Did you know? That the back is made up of terrible and evil muscles that are only waiting for their chance to betray you

manager today asked if i’d face paint for an event my work is hosting and she said “you can face paint, right? we all just assumed you could face paint” which is a fun assessment of my character

it's so crazy too bc i'll be like "this phrase/practice is being touted as ancient knowledge with a secret unbroken lineage, but it was quite literally made up in the 20th century. like we can trace it back to its very inception in like 1961." and someone will be like "that can't be true because my grandmother taught it to me." and i'm like yes your grandmother was 20 in 1961.

@animals-with-fan-art

Official ominous sign(s)

Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the character of all time. I'm almost inclined to ask "What's his fucking PROBLEM???" but he thoroughly explains his problem in every episode