The first year into having three major diagnoses and hospital-level flare ups, I said to a family member that I thought it would be helpful to have a wheelchair for certain events, because on bad or even good days, standing/walking for even a âshortâ period of time (especially on a sunny day) can make me really sick. The consequence of one fun day is often weeks or even a month or two of slow recovery. My body does not bounce back like yours.
They got really weirdly angry with me, putting on a âtough parentâ voice, âNo. You do not need a wheelchair. That is absolutely ridiculous. You can walk.â
And then year after year they have watched me cry and throw up and lose sleep and work and a social life over painful activity-induced flare ups that couldâve possibly been avoided if I didnât force myself into negative spoons just because I can physically walk.
This is what the âyou can walk, youâre not disabledâ flavor of ableism doesâit forces us to over-exert ourselves into agonyâjust because people have opinions about us letting our body rest in a wheelchair rather than running our limited energy reserves into the ground.
Not to derail from the point made here, just to clarify: wheeling yourself in a wheelchair is hard work, too! Sitting for hours causes pain. Being jolted by the terrain youâre on and going up and down curbs is uncomfortable, as well as often dangerous and painful. The idea that people using wheelchairs are just too lazy to walk in a world designed for people who can, is ridiculous.
Part of the ableist shaming pushing people to forego mobility aids is that it makes you âlook disabledâ. Which just means: people stare at you wherever you go, all the time, but often without getting out of your way. Most abled people who use a wheelchair for any reason immediately feel intensely uncomfortable with how much walking people stare at them, and often pointedly at their legs, and abandon the use of the wheelchair as soon as they can. Because there literally is no upside to âfakingâ or âexaggeratingâ a disability. All the âspecial treatmentâ people like the screenshotted asshole above assume is being doled out to people with mobility aids literally does not exist.
YES, you said it. Thank you for adding. Can I include your addition when I share this post to IG?
I hope itâs okay for me to add on? Iâm an ambulatory wheelchair user and this post really resonated. Abled people have such weird ideas about wheelchairs and wheelchair users. If I stand up from my chair in public to stretch people literally gasp and point. I donât understand why it seems so difficult for able bodied people to grasp the idea of an ambulatory wheelchair user. They seem to hold up standing and walking on this pedestal as the goal for everyone. I really think there should be more lessons about disabilities taught in school. The only thing standing between an able bodied person and disability is time.
@iwrotesomeofitdown THANK YOU OMG
(TW for weight/body image talk)
Yâall before I got my wheelchair I had zero muscle mass. If I flexed my arm the only bumpâd be my bone/tendon. I had so little trunk strength. I was weak as hell an it showed mentally an physically.
Iâve been usin my wheelchair everyday save for a few rollator/cane adventures for nearly two years now an the change is insane. I am the strongest Iâve been in YEARS. When you use a wheelchair, you are luggin your dead weight an the chair over terrain that is very, very rarely 100% wheelchair friendly. You have to roll straight on tilted sidewalks, bumpy roads, switch from flat to wheelies, you gotta push hard, come to quick stops/turns, itâs a lot. Itâs a workout.
Iâm by no means ripped but tween the constant bicep/core/back workouts as well as the increased hunger that comes with it, Iâve deadass gotten healthier. The belly button down still sucks ass but yâall itâs one of the best decisions Iâve made in regards to my health ever.
Abled folk who see wheelchairs as a weakness are fuckin ridiculous. Itâs a medical device. It you break your wrist you wear a cast. If you don have enough iron you take supplements. If you have conditions that make usin your lower body difficult/dangerous then you use mobility aids. It takes robustness to get through it all. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.
@newhologramâ sure, iâm ok with that.
Wheeling a wheelchair causes immense strain on arms, shoulders, hands, and trunk muscles, even if the wheelchair has an electric boost to reduce the arm strength necessary for propulsion (which isnât available to a lot of people). Full-time wheelchair users often experience massively increased wear on these joints, their spine and pelvis, inflammation of tendons and muscles from repetitive stress, etc., even in a short period of time. The human body is not âinfinitely adaptableâ, our upper bodies are not designed to support our entire body weight (as people with crutches also experience pain, arthritis of shoulder joints, often nerve damage in the armpits, and spinal problems) or to be used to propel us forward day in and day out. My point being: a wheelchair can be an incredible help in achieving greater mobility, but it is not a âlazy choiceâ and certainly not easier than walking is for abled people.
Yea I definitely deal with the strain of bein a full time wheelchair user. Itâs fucked how motorized chairs are so expensive when many conditions make rollin really hard.
It can absolutely be hell some days. When abled folk say they wish they could jus roll round itâs infuriatin.
Thank you everyone for talking about this with me. Today my friends rented a wheelchair for me and I was so nervous at first. Of course as soon as I posted a video, someone left a rude comment đ¤ˇđť
