see ya.

That granny glasses one is legendary, how dumb have you got to be to expect anyone else to believe that

in someplaces, time works different. you know when you’re in an airport and youre drinking a vodka soda at 7am? find out which timeless space you are 

remember when fyre fest happened like a year or so ago and there was this article where the attendees complained about how shitty it was but there was this one middle class dude who won a ticket through like a lottery or something and had the time of his life because rich people suffering is great. i hope y’all remember it is today’s mood

the plot chickens

why do 70,000 people have as bad of a sense of humor as me

i think if i were to die young i would want to be killed by, like, a bear. ‘cause that’s a respectable way to go, in my opinion. nobody is going to say “oh they would have survived if only they fought back” cause you can’t fight a giant fuckin predator. that’s just a force nature. the circle of life. 

also your headstone could read “exit, pursued by a bear” and isn’t that the dream?

big fan of this idea because it also carries the implication that the bear continues to hunt me into the afterlife

MY LEG! 😂😂😂😂😂

You call yourself a farmer and you don’t have a piece of wheat sticking out of your mouth? disgusting