certified moron

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

It’s fun to use contractions inappropriately, but it’s hard to explain why that’s

thats a common interest we've

Yeah, but people get annoyed by it, like when you throw soda cans in the trash can’t the recycle bin

(Trying to hide that I got bit by a single angelic zombie) I'm fine it's just a scratch. Let's keep going, we're almost to the sanctuary. La!

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

GET BACK TO WORK

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

really oxidized coin fell out of my wallet and I said out loud to the cashier “oh no, my yucky penny”

*Wriggling around on the lab floor* I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute.

diegetic as fuck in the club

misread this as diglett as fuck in the club