huge shoutout to the guy at the bar who said “i like your dress maam” and when i was like. i’m a man but thank you! he was like “oh shit i like your dress homie” i love you forever

she looked at my pussy like it was a bag of rice. ans her penis was a wet cell phone

we all have that ONE friend who HATES being hit over the head with a metal pipe😂 and cries PLEASE DONT HIT ME WITH A METAL PIPE MY SKULL IS FRACTURED during METAL PIPE NITE😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀😂🤣

Life is so beautiful idk why I’m on tumblr lol

Saying skill issue has done irreparable damage to my vocabulary

Damn. Skill Issue.

we don't talk enough about the cultural impact that the adam driver "you have truly hurt a 30 or 40 year old man" anon had.....and the fact that they will forever be anonymous? literally know your herstory

You people keep making "By Talos this can't be happening jokes" as if you think you're gonna be anywhere near as funny as the original post

me? im smoking the shit that turned the romance chemical

smoking the shit that made john green

Holy crap!!

You're all so clinically stupid, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.