Iāve decided that I want to live to 100 so this blog is a record of my efforts. How much control you have over your future isnāt black and white but that doesnāt mean your attempts to improve and the joy you experience along the way are all for nothing!
What to expect:
Discussions of BED recovery and healthy weight loss/management
Fitness progress - weigh-ins, lifting and hiking primarily
The occasional recipe
Maybe mental health/mindset stuff
Anti fat acceptance/non science or health related posts will be moved to @ish-chats-anti-fa
A little background:
Iāve been obese basically my entire life, according to my parents I ballooned as a toddler, but in October 2024 I started making the necessary changes to successfully lose weight. I still have to actively manage binge eating but it was only once I started recovering from the concurrent mental health conditions that I could manage my disordered food behaviours. The most important part of my recovery and the inspiration for this blog is regaining the desire to live a long and healthy life, that that was what I deserved, and with that necessitated a health journey.
I donāt exactly know my heaviest because I stopped weighing myself past 100kg/220lbs. But I started off at 98kg/216lbs at 168cm/5ft 6 and have had consistent progress. The minimum goal is to get to 65kg/150lbs for a normal BMI and anything past that is for breathing room/aesthetic/fitness.
Wish me luck!
Disclaimer:
Sharing information about the health risks related to obesity is not fatphobic nor does it hinder someoneās self-agency. Youāre free to do as you please but if you post about it, I think you should expect a response. I donāt, however, go out of my way to comment on people and their lives, instead just the rhetoric/misinformation they put out.
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Do you have to go through a crisis to make it easy?
I'm trying to start following a dietitian's plan to help me overcome my underweight condition, but I can't because I'm afraid of gaining weight and consuming a high calorie count, even though I know I need to and want to be healthy. Will it be easier if I break down and start doing this? How can I break down or stop thinking about it?
I don't think a crisis is necessary for choosing recovery/healthy weight gain. A wake-up call that underweight condition may come with health risks doesn't need to be extreme. And with that, weight gain doesn't need to be extreme either. It is great to take it slow and find things about it you enjoy. What's important, in my experience, is that it comes from an authentic place, something you choose for yourself because you know you deserve better, not solely due to outside influence or force. There is no universal motivation for everyone, but if you know you don't want to remain underweight, you have a personal reason in there somewhere. Embrace that.
I've found that taking it slowly helps! I lost some weight in the past year and have been maintaining my LW since early May. During that time, I started strength training and lost fat while building muscle. I plan to start my muscle+weight gain plan next week after 3 months of maintenance. That'll be slow and muscle-focused. Recovery does not have to include significant fat gain (though some will come with muscle) if you don't want that, and it definitely doesn't require becoming overweight. A steady, balanced approach can work.
Considering your other post on this topic, it may help to disregard calories burned in specific exercises and just look at what you need to consume to maintain or gain over the course of a week. Removing the calorie-burning focus of exercise can help alleviate some pressure and help you enjoy it for the improvement in ability instead! It may be good to see how extra weight improves your strength and effectiveness in boxing or other sports. Strength training doesn't burn many calories on its own but is very valuable for supporting such activities and general health, so I've found focusing on it turns exercise from a calorie-burning activity into an ability-building one.
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I will say the one thing that fat acceptance gets somewhat right is that you wonāt (necessarily) be happy as a skinny person. By that I mean that if someone is miserable when fat and one day they wake up at a healthy weight, they might only be marginally less miserable.
I was thinking about it because of this post:
Being a healthy weight primarily affects you physically, youāre less encumbered, your health could improve, you can fit into things better etc. On its own it affects little else. You might never be satisfied if you were chasing an idealised body type based off someone else or you might never be valued by others in the way you want.
In terms of healthcare, at best it inherently takes trial and error and thereās no guarantee that health professionals are optimally trained or humble. And if you are of any marginalised identity you will likely still face discrimination.
And in terms of social interactions (which tends to be the focus of fat acceptance), I will admit that attractive people occasionally get treated better. However, being a normal weight/underweight is not a guarantee to being seen as attractive. And it definitely doesnāt improve how you communicate, how social you are, if you come across as intelligent or interesting, if youāre an honest person or all the other things that people might look for in companionship/in another person.
Being a healthy weight JUST puts you at the physical baseline in terms of weight. Itās the range that on average limits weight-related health issues, though body composition and your waist:height ratio should still be considered.
Believing that skinny people have it SO much better than fat people idolises their body size, even if youāre expressing this through anger or sadness. Why do I have such a big issue with this view of being thin? Itās paralysing; itās othering; it encourages viewing thinness and fatness as identities rather than just weights. We tend to actively value identities in the face of erasure, applying this framework to fatness/thinness makes weight normalisation seem impossible (identities are often unchangeable) or worse, harmful to the ācommunityā. People should work towards weight normalisation in a safe manner for their health, the approval or disapproval of others should not factor into this at all, your health is largely* devoid of morality, others canāt shame you for it.
*I do think that if you have dependents then itās less free of morality. If someoneās life partly relies on you, particularly if they didnāt have a choice in this, you have a responsibility to be healthy
How deep into fat acceptance do you have to be that being fat or trans are the only two axes of discrimination/oppression that you recognise? (I wouldnāt say fatness makes someone oppressed).
Does sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, classism and the oppression of religious minorities just cease to exist from your worldview? Are you very sure every skinny cis person is the standard and is strongly valued?
I do think this is the extreme of fat acceptance where having a victim mentality and an echo chamber combine so you consider your negative experiences to be the only ones that exist. It gets you nowhere because that is no way to build community and actually enact any change. It is painfully selfish to want others to lose āvalueā because you think others donāt value you/you donāt value yourself.
And are you not yourself reinforcing the idea that aging and gaining weight makes you less valuable by wishing it on others? Is that not incredibly shallow, misogynistic and dare I say fatphobic?
So I plan on climbing this mountain in a few months and one of the ways to know if youāre ready for it is to be able to go up and down these steps 15 times (I did block out the name because it felt weird). Today was the first time I managed to do it!!! My legs felt pretty alright throughout which really surprised me because three weeks ago I had only managed to get to 8 loops.
I donāt practice it as consistently as I probably should because I think itās best to get in some other hikes, plus itās just pretty boring, but hopefully I donāt lose the progress.
If it wasnāt obvious the picture isnāt mine, it was too dark to get a picture
Did this a second time!! I was a little convinced I didnāt have it in me this morning but it went pretty well. Wanted to push for more loops but my cramps made things a little too difficult.
16 loops today! I think Iām setting the goal for 20 before the big hike.
My main concerns are managing my blood pressure and sugar lows. The former is less of a problem because I have isotonic tablets and sodas. I think I just have to get an actual snack and let myself rest more like I would while hiking, itās just that the steps donāt feel that strenuous and thereās less risk involved so I neglect taking breaks. I will be eating at maintenance from now on so hopefully that helps with blood sugar too.
Almost forgot about this but I got to 15 loops without any breaks! I figured out the best meal for me so I didnāt feel like I was having a blood sugar low and my blood pressure was pretty stable. I probably could have pushed for a few more loops but it started to drizzle ( ā¢Ģ_ā¢Ģ )
But 20 loops is looking pretty likely in a few weeks!
20 LOOPS!! I was getting a little nervous that I wouldnāt make it before the hike, but Iām so happy!! It wasnāt too hard which is very encouraging, it definitely helps with knowing what food to bring because I was starving by the end.
I was thinking about how good it felt at the end and while I donāt blame my past self for not being interested in fitness I do really wish I found joy in it sooner, just for all the benefits it has to your mental health. Iām probably not going to push for any more loops and instead try to get to 20 without breaks.
Next in my little nutrition series, let's talk about the hot topic: protein.
See also - Basic Nutrition and Carb Party
Not an MD, nutritionist, or dietician, just more educated in biology than your average bear.
Who is she?
Proteins are very complex, large molecules that come in infinite forms to perform infinite functions. Chemists and biologists are discovering and developing new ones all the time.
You've heard of the central dogma: DNA -> RNA -> protein. That second arrow is translation, when mRNA runs through ribosomes and interacts with tRNAs carrying amino acids. The amino acids link together to form a peptide chain, which then folds and shapes itself based on the chemistry of the amino acids into a new structure, called a protein. Multiple of these chains may be combined for more complex proteins. Hemoglobin has 4 components, for example.
There are loads of amino acids that exist in the world, but the human body generally uses 20 (+2 which are formed through special mechanisms I don't feel like getting into now). Eleven of these are "non-essential." The body still needs them, but they aren't essential to consume, because the body can make them itself. These are Alanine, Arginine, Asparagine, Aspartic Acid, Cysteine, Glutamic acid, Glutamine, Glycine, Proline, Serine, and Tyrosine. The nine "essential" amino acids are those that the body can't make by itself, so they are required from dietary sources. These are Phenylalanine, Valine, Tryptophan, Threonine, Isoleucine, Methionine, Histidine, Leucine, and Lysine.
When a food is called a "complete protein" that means it contains all 9 essential amino acids. Most complete proteins are those of animal origin (meat, dairy, eggs), but plant-based complete proteins include the likes of soy-based products like tofu or tempeh, certain grains like quinoa and buckwheat, hemp seeds, and some algae. Beans, other whole grains like rice or oats, and most nuts or seeds are incomplete. However, a varied diet with combinations of those can round out your supply of essential amino acids.
What does she do?
Everything!
The other macros, carbs and fats, are mainly there to be sources of energy (fats do some other stuff, too, but it's not their turn yet). They get stored and broken down as needed to provide ATP for cellular functions. But who is doing all that to them? Our friend, protein. Every membrane channel, enzyme, transporter, receptor, and more is a different form of protein. A famous one is Collagen, which is the material ised in the production of cartilage and other connective tissues. And the dynamic duo Actin and Myosin, which are the long strands running along your myocytes, cause muscle contraction when they glide against each other. Tryptophan is an essential component of serotonin, and most other neurotransmitters incorporate amino acid or peptide elements. Those enzymes replicating and transcribing DNA? Proteins! The list goes on and on.
This is why it is important to get enough protein, especially for muscle building, because Actin and Myosin are important for that action of those myomeres.
How much do we need?
Great question! That depends on what you're aiming to do. The FDA daily value of protein is 50 g/day. This is a minimum for basic sustenance and a blanket statement regardless of body weight. On an American nutrition label, this is the level reflected in the %DV, and I discussed in Basic Nutrition why the DVs are not appropriate guidelines for everyone. More than that can be useful. Other sources suggest 0.8 g/kg/day (0.36 g/lb) for routine living. For muscle growth, there is evidence for >1.6 g/kg/day (0.72 g/lb). If you want to go hardcore, others say up to 2.2 g/kg/day (1 g/lb). All that said, 1.6 g/kg is perfectly sufficient. In weight loss, I've also heard it said to base these figures on the goal weight rather than current weight.
Another way to look at it is percentages, also touched on in Basic. When people say "high protein," most mean >40% calories from protein. This ratio makes it easy to see if a certain food item is "high protein" because it comes out to 1 g / 10 cals, very easy to see from a quick glance at the label. And that's why it exists. Because it's a quick and easy shorthand for simple choices. This rule is best applied to singular food items, namely ones meant to be protein sources, or building some meals. Overall, gravitating toward protein sources that meet or exceed that 40% mark can be helpful in constructing a daily or weekly intake that is higher in protein without overdoing it on other macros if the person is trying to stay within a certain calorie range. However, there is wiggle room. Nuance is a friend. Plenty of protein sources don't meet that 40% line but can be good enough, depending on your plan. They still have their place and can add protein to an otherwise lower protein meal, even if they aren't the stars of the day.
On that note, unless someone is shooting for a very high protein and lower calorie goal, it is not necessary for the entire diet on a daily or weekly basis to be "high protein." Many clinical studies on the effect of higher protein diets use percentages in the area of 25-30% protein as their experimental groups (two in the linked review as low as 18, one with a range of 16-45*) and <15-20% as their lower protein control groups (one using 5-23*). A review of such studies discusses the established pattern of these higher protein diets supporting weight loss and maintenance of lean mass. *same study
Personally, since I started tracking my intake regularly in February, my %protein has gone up a bit (low 20s -> high 20s, got 31% last week) in my weekly averages. In terms of total protein intake, that was an increase from just over 1 g/kg in February, to 1.5 g/kg in March when I started proiritizing it more, to a little over 2 g/kg or about 1 g/lb here in July with a gradual increase in calories since May (following small weight loss Feb-May). Point being, at maintenance, hitting that big 1 g/lb mark is doable with 25-30% protein. And for a deficit example, if someone wanted to eat 1500 cal/day, 40% would get them a solid 150g of protein. And at >150lb, they may even be eating a little over 1500 in a deficit, if they're active and have muscle.
Also, protein may be wonderful, but it isn't everything. We need healthy fats, fiber, and other carbs, too. A person heavily restricting to just 900 cal/day may be able to hit 40% and get a nice 90 g, which may be plenty if they're <90-120 lb (40.9-54.5 kg). But odds are, they're heavier than that, and for anyone at that intake level, odds are they won't be getting enough of the other stuff.
Long story short, how much protein to get depends on your size, body composition, lifestyle, and goals. Do what works for you and feels right.
Protein Source Examples
Per 100g*
High protein, >40%
Cod: 82 cal, 18 g, 87.8 %
Egg whites: 52 cal, 11 g, 84.6%
Shrimp: 71 cal, 14 g, 78.9%
Rabbit: 114 cal, 22 g, 77.2%
Lean pork tenderloin: 109 cal, 21 g, 77%
Chicken breast: 136 cal, 26 g, 76.5%
Non-fat Greek yogurt: 59 cal, 10 g, 67.8%
Non-fat cottage cheese: 72 cal, 10.3 g, 57.2%
2% Fat Greek yogurt: 70 cal, 10 g, 57.1%
Beef shoulder steak: 143 cal, 20 g, 55.9%
2% Fat cottage cheese: 81 cal, 10.5 g, 51.9%
Firm tofu: 144 cal, 17.3 g, 48%
4% Fat cottage cheese: 97 cal, 11.5 g, 47.4%
90% Lean ground beef: 176 cal, 20 g, 45.5%
Edamame: 120 cal, 12 g, 40%
4% Fat Greek yogurt: 82 cal, 8.2 g, 40%
Good enough, 30-39%
Portabella mushroom: 22 cal, 2.1 g, 38.2%
Salmon with skin: 222 cal, 21 g, 37.8%
85% Lean ground beef: 215 cal, 18.6 g, 34.6%
Large egg (*per each): 70 cal, 6 g, 34.3%
Decent supplements/sides, >20%
Mozzarella cheese: 300 cal, 22.2 g, 29.6%
Black beans: 132 cal, 9 g, 27.2%
Cheddar cheese: 403 cal, 23 g, 22.8%
Chickpeas: 164 cal, 8.9 g, 21.7%
People call them protein, but they're really sources of fat:
Just wanted to stress that if youāre losing weight from being obese (particularly at higher weights) itās probably going to be better to base your protein goals on percentage of your calories per day rather than current/goal body weight. And Iāve found that for daily living it has been suggested that 10% of your daily calories come from protein [link], or a range of 10-35% [link] depending on your body composition.
Of course, ideally itās better to set incremental weight goals with time limits to understand if your lifestyle changes are effective, and then you could base your proteins goals off these goal weights, changing as you go. But I understand the urge to focus on the end of the journey. 2-4 kg per month is a generally safe rate (depending on your current weight and the size of your deficit), check back with yourself every 3-5 months to adjust your deficit and macros as you see fit, accounting for the possibility of plateaus from water retention.
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Most annoying thing to remember is that you're litterally just a homosapien. You're just a very smart animal. If you feel like shit, imagine you're an exotic pet for some alien species and do what they'd do to keep you healthy. You gotta be well cared for. Animal abuse is a crime for a reason
"My pet human, Greg, hasn't left his bed in a long time. He's just scrolling his phone all day" Greg needs enrichment. Add enrichment in his enclosure and take him on walks
"Greg has been super lethargic and sad recently for seemingly no reason" Greg need vitamins, take him outside for some vitamin D and fresh air. Perhaps a picnic
"Greg won't sleep even though he's been super lethargic" Greg needs a schedule, especially for the lights in his enclosure.
"Greg has been super distant recently and keeps crying to sad music" Humans are pack animals, he needs to hug another human and hang out. Perhaps pack bond with a rock together
"Greg has been flailing around and panicking, his breathing is way faster than it should be" Greg is overwhelmed. Take Greg out of the situation and give him time to calm down. Perhaps somewhere cozy with tea and a movie
"Greg won't do what he needs to do" Train him. Humans do great with positive reinforcement, give him little treats when he's doing good
"Greg he's been super anxious and tired, he can't seem to enjoy his days" Humans needs to move around. Give Greg something to exercise with. Things like stretching, weight lifting, walking, or even dancing will help
"Even though I've taken really good care of Greg, he still has been having issues" Greg is ill, take him to the doctor. You might need a specialist (therapist, optometrist, oncologist, etc)
I feel like Iāve made the yummiest sandwich Iāve ever had. Itās toasted rye bread, homemade chicken patties, purple cabbage, a little kimchi and mayo. Does it know the meaning of structural integrity? Not really, but I would have liked to add some tomatoes. Alternatively, I could make croutons out of the bread and make a salad which would be easier to eat.
The chicken patties are just made up off ground chicken, shredded mozzarella cheese, finely chopped red onions and garlic, chili flakes, paprika, a little dried oregano and thyme, black and white pepper and salt. Thatās baked at 200C for 25 minutes. Proportions of ingredients depend on taste and your macronutrient needs. For me, I used about 12g of cheese to 100g of chicken.
The whole plate was 511 calories with 51g of protein, I planned to have a pear with it but I was too full lol
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About this post by @buggyhuman about a tax on sugar.
My comment was deleted but I think it was basically āthere are limits on how much refined sugar a person should consume in a day, the tax would affect the regular consumption of foods that could put a person over that limit. All carbs break down into sugar that you can use for energy (proteins and fats also get broken down) but thereās a difference between eating a potato and a pack of sweets in terms of blood sugar spiking, long-term energy and satiety. It can be useful for someone who has blood sugar lows or does sports for example but you donāt need refined sugar.ā
This is what it got reduced to:
Which like I agree but thatās not all I said.
What is? Do you think that it doesnāt work or do you just like sugar? If itās the former, thatās fair results really depends on the method of taxation.
This is a pretty good resource on all the countries that have a tax on sugar-sweetened beverages (SSBs), explanations on the types of taxation and case studies of countries that have seen success:
Over 50 countries have implemented taxes on sugar-sweetened beverages.
Some information on case studies of success:
Mexico: By 2016, there was a 37% reduction in the total volume of SSBs purchased, compared to the year before the tax was introduced.
The UK: The tax led to widespread reformulation to reduce sugar levels in SSBs. This was the equivalent of removing a total of 45 million kg of sugar from soft drinks each year.
Chile: After one year, there was a 22% reduction in the volume of higher-taxed drinks sold, but no change in the overall purchase of soft drinks; this indicates that some consumers switched to drinks with lower sugar content
In Malaysia, my own country, it has not been too successful but one suggestion would be to implement a higher or lower tax rate according to the sugar content, using the cap-and-trade model to implement added sugar permits so manufacturers reduce the use of sugar and to improve education regarding sugar intake. [link]
No? Not exactly at least. Any taxation makes them money. Personally, Iām not pro-free market and if this was your core issue with a sugar tax thatās fair, Iām not going to tell you to trust your government when I donāt trust any of them. I do think something like warnings on cigarette packs could be useful here, making it mandatory to clearly show how much sugar is in a serving (as in on the front of packaging) and maybe percentages of how much that is out of your daily limit could work too.
Itās difficult to estimate how this will lighten the load on public healthcare since overconsumption of high sugar ultraprocessed foods are only one aspect of ill health, but if combined with improved education this could be a save a government costs.
I would also support subsidies to expand ceiling prices to include more whole foods (Malaysia primarily covers certain imports like lamb and some vegetables, with some states covering chicken and pork too, we used to cover eggs). And I think our financial aid system that covers groceries should be expanded to cover more non-carbohydrate whole foods.
Considering that youāve noted iron supplements itās safe to say itās difficult to go over your limits on iron or vitamin C. Like I wouldnāt support a tax on glucose powder which is a sugar supplement. In terms of caffeine, you could tax drinks that per serving put you close to your daily limit, I personally wouldnāt be against it considering how caffeine abuse can stem from a toxic work culture but the original post was discussing the credits of a sugar tax, why would bring this up?
The key thing here is how easily these foods can have you exceeding your daily limits on added sugar. Men should limit it to 36g and women to 25g. A 300ml can of full-sugar coke then contains 32.1g. A 47.9g pack of M&Mās contains 31g. Itās really not hard to exceed these limits.
A little self-reflection may be needed on your part in terms of the first and third point but did I mention fat people at all in my original comment? I donāt support thin people unnecessarily having so much added sugar either. Of course, I recognise the reality that obesity is unhealthy and that overconsumption of ultraprocessed foods worsens obesity.
Prolonged consumption of a high sugar diet, regardless of your weight, increases your risks of insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes. But also depending on where you are low/no sugar goods can be difficult to come by or are expensive. It also increases chronic inflammation that worsens a personās risk for numerous conditions such as cardiovascular disease and autoimmune diseases (post). Considering that the targets of these taxes are ultraprocessed foods which can disrupt a personās gut microbiome and worsen a personās mental health.
Thatāsā¦ also a problem? Iām from an Islamic country so alcohol imports and sales are heavily taxed, I sometimes forget that drinking isnāt so expensive in other countries. I personally have mixed feelings on this because as much as food/sugar addiction is a good framework to understand how our brains respond to hyper-palatable foods itās not actually an addiction in the way that alcohol abuse is. I do think that the taxes come from moralising the consumption of alcohol which isnāt useful in recovery but also it is much easier to limit added sugar than alcohol (or any drug really) a severe drinker may not be dissuaded due to high costs. Great timing to bring this up because I made a post on alcohol consumption, it is healthy to limit your drinking too!
At the end of the day though, all we have are our own choices, regardless of whether a sugar tax is implemented or works we should all still be careful with our intake of added sugar.
Donāt hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didnāt know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. Whatās important is that you know better now, and you know more now. Thatās something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.
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