I don't usually do pinned posts, but maybe this blog could use one. 🌕✨
⚔️This is a sideblog for my fitness journey, ed recovery, and critique of anti-health culture. Fat acceptance never helped me. If anything, it held me back.
🌊Name-wise, just use my url I guess. Or Profunda. The url is Latin for my blog title, "[I am] formed in [the] depths."
That is genuinely how my fitness journey feels, coming from a deep, dark place and growing from it. Batman Bane style: I was born in the darkness, molded by it. (And you better have read that in the voice.)
🔥I am an adult woman who had severe anorexia as a teenager, particularly a nine-month stretch at 14-15 years old (2010-2011). Back then, recovery wasn't my choice. For over a decade, I struggled to find the relationship with food and exercise, body, and capabilities I want without being tempted by disordered thoughts or habits. Since starting this blog in summer 2025, especially since February 2026, that's been way easier. I have a new, much healthier outlook that is rooted in authenticity (unapologetically being myself and shooting for my healthy goals) and honesty (being realistic about what is healthy and doable and how I've been doing).
My lore: first recovery, and bit on old mentality.
Progress: importance of attention, beginning maintenance, and getting a smart scale.
I have other related things in #recovery.
Other common tags are #nutrition, #exercise, #workout, #fitness, and #fitspo (which is not the same as thinsp0). Workout tag is specific tips and things to try; exercise tag is more general.
🌳As you may notice, I can be very share-y. On this blog, for this topic, I'm an open book. I'm happy to answer questions or discuss things. I try to keep other details of my life under more wraps for privacy. Be aware that if I ever get more specific about my bad times, especially 2010-11, it could be triggering, but for some things, it can be important context. I won't sanitize or sugar coat or hide any part of my reality in this sphere.
I'm not encouraging disordered behavior or goals. Stats in bio because it's part of my honesty. If you see that BMI go below 18.5, feel free to chew me out, but otherwise, there's no reason to complain.
If you find this content triggering, please see yourself out.
I don't particularly like interacting with minors, but I won't chase you away with a stick. Just maintain a normal distance, please.
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Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.
"You shouldn't eat too much sugar and the sugar tax is good to prevent that"
a) that's already garbage
b) do you really believe governments are doing this out of the goodness of their hearts?
c) there's MANY things you should actually watch your daily intake of, and yet I don't see any taxes being proposed to regulate those. Where's the iron supplement tax? Vitamin C tax? Caffeine tax?
d) you're stupid and fatphobic and brainwashed
e) hey how come alcohol is often cheaper than chocolate/candy bars? I thought it was about uwu health?
No, governments do not do this out of the goodness of their hearts.
I am of the opinion that the government should neither dictate what people are allowed to consume nor give benefits to predatory food/beverage lobbies, but it seems they pick and choose which of those behaviors to engage in however suits the current administration.
Education is what matters, so that consumers can make informed choices. Accessibility is what matters, so that it is possible to act on those choices.
Too much refined sugar is unhealthy. Support for the fruit industry would be the better route, imo, than simply taxing refined sugar.
Things the body needs some of can also be things the body can be hurt by too much of. We need sodium to function; too much can have deleterious effects, and most people get too much. We need ADEK vitamins to function, but most people don't get enough; still, too much can have deleterious effects. I haven't heard of people ODing on iron, but maybe it happens; most people don't get enough. It's practically impossible to OD on VitC. Some caffeine is fine, but it can be abused. A little alcohol now and then is fine, but too much is too much.
Either the government legally forces people to eat healthily (which could theoretically be effective but very unideal for personal freedoms and would never account for the vast diversity of dietary needs), or it doesn't coerce our choices at all. Singling out refined sugar is a cherry-picking course of action, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't be opting for more actual cherries instead of candy.
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I have this new work friend who I had heard speak of the gym once or twice. A couple times, I wasn't sure if she was making fun of me for my gym broisms (snatching up that protein, loving muscle as a tissue in the academic sense, going gym after work gang's dinner out). Come to find out, she was being genuine, is a fellow gym bro, and even fucking takes creatine. More gym bro than I gym, bro! Been trying to get other coworkers into the gym and embracing the benefits of creatine. She might get me onto it, idk, we shall see!
But once I heard bout that, I just felt like this:
I think I’m going to just cut out drinking. I might still have the occasional sip if someone else has a particularly interesting drink but I’m not going to have one of my own. Other than overdoing it in my first year of university I wouldn’t say I ever relied on it, nor do I drink much at all now (maybe 1-3 drinks every two months max).
The reason why is that I feel like I only ever order a drink because it’s what I’m supposed to. I don’t enjoy the taste (so there isn’t a point in having just one drink) and I don’t really like being tipsy and I particularly hate the after effects (I tend to swell a little). I guess if I’m going to question my food habits that I see as normal when they don’t really serve me, alcohol should be included.
This is definitely partially because of the new guidelines concerning alcohol consumption for the US, which is to “consume less alcohol for better overall health.” I have seen criticism [link] of the removal of information on the previous upper limits (2 per day for men and 1 per day for women) and the health risks posed by chronic drinking, that this is the effect of lobbying from the alcohol industry. I do agree but I think a useful interpretation of the guidelines is to limit as much as possible and to ideally cut it out [link].
I think this is the paper that is currently being discussed linking even casual consumption (within the previous limits) to be correlated with an increased risk for dementia, definitely stronger at chronic consumption and at the very least it goes against the idea that alcohol is at all protective.
The correlation is supported by research into the mechanisms for the increased risk (though again this may more strongly apply to chronic consumption*):
Alcohol promotes inflammation - an increase in free radicals leads to oxidative stress (which fuels further inflammation) causing cell damage and accelerated aging, promoting neuronal death [link]
Accumulation of beta amyloid - a toxic protein that is the main component of the plaques found in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s [link]
Disrupts neurotransmitters that are critical for memory and learning
Inhibits REM sleep and sleep disorders have been associated with cognitive decline and dementia [link]
Increased risk of strokes with chronic drinking - well, a general decrease in cardiovascular health which includes a risk for strokes which can lead to cognitive decline [link]
Regardless of how these mechanisms relate to the little casual drinking I do, I have my reason for not letting it linger in my diet.
No matter what the battles are you are facing you can find a way to put your health first and pull yourself out of obesity.
Ive done it. And i was 300+ pounds at 5'7.
Ive helped other do it. I helped my husband lose 30+ pounds.
You can be healthy. You are not broken. Its not too late. You dont have to give up on yourself.
Fat acceptance is a lie. No one tells you this to be mean. (Yes there are people who can be mesn about your size, ive expereinced it too). People tell ypu this to try and help. And you say 'why do you care?'
BECASE I WAS THERE I WAS YOU.
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW BAD I FELT ALL THE TIME.
Nothing fit me. I hated myself. I was self concious. I hated going outside. I thought horribly of myself. I was moody. I was extremely mentally ill. I was extremely mean to myself and punished myself with food.
I know exactly what you are going through.
I know that you can change too.
Your owe yourself health. You owe yourself an amazing life, the only life you have.
I want you to be able to chase your kids around, go on hikes, fit on a plane and see the world. I want you to play fight woth your spounse and run around the house without being out of breathe. I want you to live for yourself and your family. I dont want your pets to wonder where you disapearred to one day because it got so bad. I dont want people to mourne you because you were gone too soon.
I did it all for myself and i want to help others see that they are worth it.
People in fat acceptance are tearing you down with them. They are not your friends. They want you to stay fat becauss they are fat. They dont have the will to get out and stop being the victim. But you do. The world isnt against you. Theyll tell you that but its not.
Being fat is not healthy
Being extremely skinny is not healthy.
Too far on either end is not healthy. You need to become strong and live the life you deserve.
Do what you need to do to get yourself in the gym. I always struggle with going because at my job i walk 7+ miles a day and am standing running around all day. But you gotta think about. Theres people who do more than i do and they still make it there. Did i buy a cute pink gym bag to romanticize it? Maybe. But if it works it works right? And you always feel so much better after youve worked out.
One way ive escaped my mental illnesses was wodking out. I was so depressed and had a horrible mood all the time and slept so much and loaing weight and taking care of myself has taken away those struggles completely.
Everyone has bad days like when im about to start my period i become more over whelmed and might cry here or there. But im not a lazy shut in anymore. I see life for what it is and dont self sabotage or hate my life anymore. Im not depressed anymore i rarely have bad days and cant remember the last time i thought the world was plotting against me. Obviously everyone had bad days and they come and go but this is a totally differemt world and its insane to look back and think that im just normal now. Its amazing what pushing yourself can do.
Go to the gym. Build yourself to be stronger. Live longer. Experience more with the one life you have.
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Maybe I was out of the loop, but before I saw any gym bros putting protein in their coffee, I saw senior citizens or older middle aged people (like my parents) doing it. It was an "old person thing" to me, for people who were starting to realize they could use a small improvement for their health, and the easiest way to do that was to sneak extra protein into new places, which doesn't require as much alteration to routine meals. So I think it's a little weird, like it comes as a surprise to see, when people lump protein coffee in with the "high protein craze."
It's never too early to start taking care of yourself. A little scoop of powder in the morning isn't the ideal protein source, but if it is easy and helpful, then I don't see the problem.
yeah im gonna be honest im so tired of fat activists pedalling the idea of there being a second puberty or gaining weight as you age being inevitable. yes it is a trend but it's certainly not an inevitability, as long as you keep as active as you were when you were younger, it won't happen.
also, how would you explain many people (including me) losing weight after my childhood/early teen years and keeping it off for several years? am i just an anomaly or something
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Nutrition is complicated. Some people get taught in school (health, biology, or chemistry classes) as kids, but many don't. Many who did may have forgotten. And if you only got the basics, where do you go after that? Here is some basic and next-step info for anyone seeking to lose weight or generally improve their health. I'm not a dietician, nutritionist, or personal trainer: just a woman who knows a thing or two and took some college+ level biology (including physiology and medically relevant topics), chemistry, physics, etc. courses. Some of this is also a little simplified. Feel free to add more advanced info or correct where needed.
I speak about this in primarily a weight loss context, but this info can also be relevant for muscle gain/other healthy weight gain (i.e. if starting from underweight) or healthy weight maintenance.
Calories and Macro Basics
"Calories" or kilocalories/kcal are a unit of energy. 1 kcal is the energy it takes to raise the temperature of 1 L of water by 1 degree C.
A body's Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is how many calories it burns simply existing and living, also called "coma calories" because it does not include any movement whatsoever. Additional calories are included in Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) by one's daily activities.
There are 3 macronutrients: carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Carbs and proteins each contain 4 kcal/g, and fats contain 9 kcal/g. The basic building blocks of carbs are sugars, of proteins are amino acids, and of fats are fatty acids. The body can break these down and rearrange them, but there are limits. All three have their places and uses.
When food is consumed, the body extracts caloric energy from macronutrients, and that's the basis of digestion and metabolism, cellular respiration. The energy released from these molecules fuels physiologic reactions. If energy in/kcal consumed = energy out/TDEE, that's eating at maintenance.
When we consume more energy than is needed to maintain our physiology (calorie surplus), the body usually stores this excess energy as fatty acids within adipocytes. It does this when it can because fat is the most calorically dense of the macros, making for efficient storage. However, if a person is strength training to build muscle, the muscle cells will take in that energy and available amino acids to build their structural proteins and grow. Whatever they don't use then goes to fat. It doesn't matter very much which macro is dominant in a diet: if there is a calorie surplus, those calories are getting stored. Nuance is just that muscles can only grow if they have enough amino acids available to synthesize their proteins -- you can't really build muscle out of carbs and fats. When we consume less than is needed (calorie deficit), the body draws from those energy stores to power reactions, burning fat.
Moderate, sustainable weight loss is advised as ~1 lb/week. Doing it slower or faster is ok, too. 0.5lb/week is perfectly fine, especially if you don't have much to lose. Up to 2 lb/week may be sustainable, but unless you're starting from a very high weight, losing more rapidly than that is usually not.
Because 1 lb (0.45 kg) of fat is approximately 3,500 kcal, consuming 500 kcal/day less than you expend would add up to a deficit of 3,500 kcal/week (-500 kcal x 7 = -1 lb fat/week).
There are many websites such as this which can estimate your BMR and TDEE based on your age, sex, height, weight, and activity level. It is only an estimate, as body composition also plays a role, and the energy burned by activity depends a lot on exactly how much and what kind of activity that is, but it can be a good starting point.
Micros
Micronutrients are vitamins and minerals. These do not contain calories, so they do not provide energy, but the body needs them for many physiologic functions, like being cofactors for enzymes or used in the structure of bones and other tissues. For example, scurvy is a disease of connective tissue, which is primarily comprised of collagens, a class of protein. The enzymatic function for collagen production requires vitamin C, so when VitC is lacking, collagen suffers, and the symptoms of scurvy are characterized by the degradation of connective tissue. Micronutrients are found in many places, and a varied diet rich in diverse fruits and vegetables will have greater micronutrient balance and value.
Vitamins can be either water-soluble (B, C) or fat-soluble (A, D, E, K). If a person consumes more of a water-soluble vitamin than their body needs at that time, it will be excreted in urine, and these are not stored for later use. If a person consumes more of a fat-soluble vitamin than they need, the body cannot excrete it as easily. They can be stored in body fat for times when they are more needed, but if severely over-consumed, they may cause illness. However, this is not a risk for most people. In digestion, consuming fat-soluble vitamins with a fat source aids in absorption.
Fat Detail
Fat and sugar have both come under a lot of heat in recent decades. Diets which advise cutting out all fats or carbs completely (or very drastically) are fad diets and not appropriate for the average person. The body needs fats for many functions and cellular structure. If you have a specific medical condition in which this information may not apply to you, consult a professional.
Fatty acids come in a few forms: saturated, monounsaturated, polyunsaturated, and trans. Saturated vs unsaturated describes the molecular structure of the fatty acids by whether they are full of hydrogen atoms or not.
Saturated fats, which are solid at room temperature, are usually found in animal-based sources, such as the fat on a cut of meat or butter. These can come with greater health risks, such as increased LDL cholesterol, but in moderation, they can be alright and come along with other beneficial nutrients.
Unsaturated fats, which are liquid at room temperature, are usually found in plant-based sources, such as avocados, nuts, and olives. These are considered healthier fats, as they get processed and interact with the body differently. Unsaturated fats include the healthy omega-3s and omega-6s found in fish. Both are good, but it's about the balance between them, and omega-3s can be more beneficial than omega-6s. Today, most people get more omega-6 relative to omega-3 than they need, so prioritizing omega-3 is generally a good idea.
Trans fats are hydrogenated oils, for the most part. Scientists take an unsaturated fat and insert hydrogen atoms to create saturated fats for things like butter substitutes or to increase a product's shelf life. Often, this is done because the unsaturated fat and processing is cheaper than the saturated fat equivalent. That process can also occur naturally in some animal-based fats, more like regular saturated fats, but when most people speak of trans fats, they mean the artificial process. These are not good for the body.
Carb Detail
Carbs can be simple, like sugar, or complex, like fiber. Fiber takes longer to digest, so the body's satiety signals (like the hormone leptin) persist for longer after consumption and insulin is released more gradually. Fiber also aids in digestion and can be good for gut health. Simple carbs are absorbed and broken down more quickly, resulting in a sharper spike of insulin followed by a more sudden crash and quicker dissipation of leptin. Some dieticians use the phrase "fiber first" to describe prioritizing a complex carb source before dedicating any leftover calories to simple carb treats.
When people talk about sugar negatively, they mean the added sugars in processed food or homemade treats (granulated sugar is still processed). The natural sugars in fruit are lower per serving than most processed treats and come along with fiber and micronutrients. Don't be scared of fruit sugar; it's worth it.
Protein Detail
"Fiber first" has a lovely sister, "protein first." Especially while losing weight or gaining muscle, protein is very important and should be prioritized. Like fiber, it keeps a person feeling full for longer because of the extended time of digestion and metabolism. It is utilized by muscles, among all your other cells, and a high-protein diet can preserve muscle mass during weight loss or support muscle gain. Muscle cells are extremely protein-dense (they are meat, after all) and need a lot of it.
It's also wise to consume a variety of protein sources. Each will have a different balance of amino acids, which the body uses to make its own proteins. Some amino acids can be synthesized in the body, but others must be consumed directly.
One general rule of thumb is to aim for 1 g of protein for every 1 kg (2.2 lb) of body weight, give or take. If you have a high body weight and/or are in a calorie deficit, eating 1 g/kg like that can mean that a high percentage of your daily calories are coming from protein, which is good. For example, if a 70 kg (154 lb) person wanted to get 70 g of protein, that's 280 kcal from protein per day. If their calorie goal is 1,500 kcal/day, that amounts to 18.67% calories from protein. That is not a very high protein diet, but it's good. Now, imagine if that person were larger; that would demand a higher percentage of kcal from protein and be slightly harder to achieve but very doable.
What I hear recommended for "high protein" is much higher than that, and to reap the benefits of a high protein diet, it needs to be. That recommendation is more like 40% kcal from protein or 1 g protein per 10 kcal consumed, which is a high bar. For physically active people, up to this level or 2 g/kg (like 1 g/lb) is recommended. I'm not saying doing the hard thing is impossible. If realistic and accessible, getting 40% kcal from protein is a great goal. However, there is wiggle room. Less intense high protein diets have been described as 30% kcal from protein, and at that level, there have been demonstrated benefits to blood sugar regulation and hunger control.
Personally, I aim for 20-30% calories from protein because it's realistic for me at the moment. Shooting for an easier, more achievable goal is more beneficial than not trying at all because the lofty goal isn't realistic in your circumstances. I have plans to go harder in the near future, but for me, this is ok for now, and I'm making changes slowly.
If you look at a nutrition label, most nutrients have a line for %DV (daily value), based on a 2,000 kcal/day diet. This is meant to describe the percentage of that nutrient for the day the food provides based on labelling recommendations. However, they aren't a good basis for choices if your goals and those recommendations don't line up. Using a random example of a frozen taquito, this label says it contains 220 kcal/serving (2 taquitos) with 8 g protein (14.5% kcal from protein in this food), which is described as 15% DV. Mathing that out for 2,000 kcal/day, you get 8 g or 32 kcal = 15% of 53.33 g or 213 kcal, which is less than 1 g/kg for most adults and only 10.67% kcal from protein described in that "daily value." Conclusion: adding up your macros based on the label's DV recommendation will likely not serve a high protein goal, and even 20% kcal from protein is an improvement over that suggested DV.
I may make other posts like this relating to psychology and exercise, but for now, that's basic nutrition.
In case anyone was unclear on why "calories in, calories out" works, this is it. The molecules you ingest have physical and chemical properties based on their structure and the energy of the bonds between their atoms. They are used by biological systems, like an animal's body, in various ways based on those qualities.