misery is increasing

past-tense slogans

we were farmers

nationwide was on your side

You were in good hands

because you were worth it

only you couldve stopped forest fires

come on dude come outside its the month of the grape harvest.

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

What if you went grocery shopping and the produce section was just missing?

They’re doing their best with half a brain cell.

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

ㅤ

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

🫩 no i don't think those characters are siblings i think they're friends. I don't think that's their mom I actually think she's their friend. I don't think they're related actually I think they're friends with each other.