i, an alpha woman who is unable to love,

tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time

you look like the kinda girl who'd open up ms paint back in the day select the spray paint tool and click and hold to watch it slowly turn into a perfect circle

“Am I the only one who—” yes. You’re all alone. And nobody shares your experiences or loves you. And you’re floating on a raft in a dark ocean and there’s sharks and squids trying to get you and lightning is crashing and the water is choppy and black

doing a line of hope

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

i knowwwwww in my heart ilya would love taking shanes last name and after they have kids referring to their family unit as hollanders. ilya turning around to the backseat like okey hollanders here is plan. we are going to be in and out of costco in thirty minutes. you may choose ONE item each. if we get separated we meet at optometrist. we will get ice creams on way out as long as everyone is cool and nobody tells dad. hollanders on three.

be normal about nonromantic sex. be normal about people who actively want to screw but would rather die than kiss or hold hands. be normal about fwb relationships. they are healthy they are beautiful they are harmless they are wholesome they are perfect. "yeah, just as long as you make sure to clarify—" you're still not being normal about this yk. you're only saying that because you STILL see it as an abusive arrangement by default. if someone says they want a romantic partner, you wouldn't tell them to make sure they asked directly rather than decide for them, would you? god just please be normal about nonromantic sex as a whole ok

obviously ilya’s 33rd birthday is going to be really hard for him and I think by this point he and Shane have been married and living together for a couple of years and Shane has seen him on good days and bad days and he’s trying to be upfront about how this is not going to be a good day but shane’s doing that thing where he’s like “babe we’ve got this. Together.” which is all fine and dandy but ilya doesn’t want to have this he doesn’t want to be shane’s version of fine which oftentimes is just smiling and nothing else. he wants to be blowing out his birthday candles with his mama he wants to give her a hug as she tells him its a hard year but it’ll be alright that he’ll get through it he wants one of her silly presents that she used to leave on his bed so it would be the last thing he’d get on his birthday to make up for any stuffiness that he had to suffer with his father he wants the honey cake that she used to get him from the bakery around the corner that’s was closed the last time he went to moscow and god he wants to go back to moscow he wants to be where he grew up and for a moment be eleven and ten and eight and five and two but that’s not going to happen and its not shane’s fault that shane’s not getting it but the fact of the matter is that shane doesn’t it. So on the morning of his birthday he gets up before shane which is only possible because shane sleeps til 7 when theyre at the cottage and goes for a run and then stops down by the dock and smokes three cigarettes in a row and the water looks so peaceful and running shorts are basically swim trunks so he jumps in and just floats there and thinks about how he’ll be older than his mama ever got to be soon and older than he ever thought he’d be and he doesn’t really know how to feel about either of those facts and then he hears shane’s voice at the end of the dock saying happy birthday and ilya yells out that hollander should join him for a swim and instead of rolling his eyes or mentioning the ashtray with three very obviously fresh butts he just goes okay and he doesn’t even bother to fold his sweats he’s strips down to his boxers and jumps in and is on ilya and gives him a little kiss before saying that he got them breakfast and it’ll be getting cold and ilya’s like oh you made us breakfast? And shanes like no i got us macdonalds and then he’s pulling ilya back towards the dock and of course he brought them towels cause he was going to jump in the whole time cause he knew ilya would ask and maybes its not moscow and it’ll never be moscow again but maybe this can be okay too.

so you're telling me the fifa world cup is all men? its all men's teams? and so is the superbowl? and all the sports teams that states are known for and make copious amounts of merch for are also men's teams? and only 5 women have ever entered formula one since its inception in 1950 and only two of them were able to compete? and this is normal? its acceptable?

i grew up playing backyard soccer on the pc as a child in the early 2000s where boys and girls would play on the same team and against each other and you're telling me that's still an unrealistic fantasy that can't happen in real life?

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.