i, an alpha woman who is unable to love,

tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

my little cousin confidently declared that mother nature had a counterpart named daddy electric and i feel like this concept needs to be explored

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

they don’t warn you about it but if you love your own company enough to be content by yourself and you’ve got some standards for who you’d date, you’ll spend a lot of time single and nobody will really get why you’re doing that because surely you want to come home and hang out with craig, right? right????? don’t you want to hang out with craig?