i, an alpha woman who is unable to love,

tip: if you wake up on time and then lie in bed unmoving for 20 minutes you will no longer be on time

If you’re reading this, chances are high my dicks hard rn 👀

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

I understand why jacob made this change in the show but one of the hands down funniest parts of the book is in the club scene when ilya, mid-revenge crashout, tries to get the girl he was groping in front of shane to come back to his hotel with him and she pats him on the cheek and says aw that’s sweet babe but I’m here with my boyfriend he likes watching guys make out with me. lmfao that girl is having herself a fun n sexy night out at the club ilya rozanov CANNOT relate

actually i do find it hilarious that Derek was all ‘i’m a real actual werewolf with experience of being a werewolf and i can give you advice about how to be a werewolf because i am a werewolf’ and Scott was like ‘sorry my completely human 16 year old best friend just took a double-dose of Adderall and went on an 8 hour wikipedia spree so i think he’s got me covered on the werewolf advice stuff :)’

this is your daily reminder to take a chonce

What the fuck is a chonce

in the age of repression and purity culture, getting more perverted is the only morally correct course of action

one of my fears is that i'll be 7 hours down my dash reblogging things not knowing that, like, the end of the world is happening. everyone is posting shit like FUCK THE MARTIANS HAVE TOUCHED DOWN IN LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA meanwhile i'm like here's a picture of snoopy :-)

You ruined a perfectly hot middle aged man by giving him abs