Name: Jesse [Rafa(el), and Ronny - I answer to all three] - Age: 25 - Pronouns: he/they
I'm a queer and disabled hobby writer and mostly write (x Reader) FanFictions and Headcanons. But I am also working on my original story whenever I can, so that I’ll hopefully publish it as an actual book someday. My Ao3.
Sometimes, I also make art and post it here and on Instagram.
This is my main blog, where I post all my writing and most of my art. I also use this blog as a journal at times for important life stuff that I feel like sharing and remembering. But I also reblog anything I want on here (fandom-related things, current events, tips and tricks, etc.)
Also, here are my sideblogs if you’re interested:
Cats Musical [@it-was-mungojerrie]
Dead Poets Society [@toddandersonirl]
Horror Media [@addicted-to-the-knife]
Raúl Esparza [@bidesparza]
The Simpsons [@worst-thesimpsons-blog-ever]
I try to tag specifics as much as I can; but if there are things you'd need to blacklist and I haven't tagged, just let me know, and I'll do it, no harm done. All I ask is that you're respectful and kind, please.
As you'll see in my masterlists, I used to take writing requests. Now, those are closed indefinitely, though. Please do not send me any requests.
My asks/inbox is open for anyone at any time for simple conversations, discussing characters, media, headcanons, writing, ideas, etc. but no requests!
Masterlists are linked with fandoms/actors/characters below.
Cooper Abbott (Trap, 2024)
Doctor Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man 2, 2004)
DAVID DASTMALCHIAN characters
EWAN MCGREGOR characters
Roman Sionis/Black Mask (mostly the 2020 Birds of Prey version; but also the Red Hood and the Outlaws comic version; and the Batwoman season 2 version)
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You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
When we choose to avoid history because it's Problematic or Says Bad Things, we are choosing to divorce ourselves from understanding how we came from that time to this one, which makes it even more likely for the cycle to repeat, with no one but a few people with shelves of old books aware that it's happened before.
Huckleberry Finn is a book that uses language we now recognize as offensive and tells the story of a young white boy who overcomes his learned prejudices to the point that he is willing to go to hell to save his black father figure. Reducing it to the former without recognizing the latter is ignoring the entire message, and you can engage with the text critically while still recognizing that there is a reason we recognize slurs as slurs.
Then there are works which are more ignorant than actively malicious. The early 1900s comic strip Alphonse and Gaston features a trio of extremely polite French men who travel the world and get into wacky misadventures which, unfortunately, means they run into lots of racial stereotypes. But the tone of this comic presents the heroes as bumbling, grotesque idiots and the nonwhite characters are just stock depictions without any true vitriol behind them. That said, this does not mean that these comics are not potentially hurtful; just that it is important to recognize the difference between societally normalized bigotry based in ignorance and people like Columbus or Hitler who took things much, much further.
The shifting of terms is also extremely important to be cognizant of. The NAACP dates from a time when Colored People was an acceptable term used by their own group to describe themselves. Rocky Horror dates from a time when terminology for the LGBT+ experience was very different than it is now.
And another comment I hear occasionally is "so what, all this stuff is just saying that people from this group are people! Who doesn't know that?" which. We need to be aware of history to know what a big deal the scene in In the Heat of the Night where Sidney Poitier retaliates after being slapped was, or how revolutionary it was for Barney Miller to have recurring characters who were a gay couple and were presented as deserving just as much respect as anyone else. In 2022, John Turturro and Christopher Walken could play gay characters on Severance without it endangering their careers; in 1995, network executives refused to allow Xena and Gabrielle to appear in the opening credits together because of concerns that they would be seen as lesbians, despite both characters being written as straight at that point. I have seen people argue that the plot of The Birdcage makes no sense and that the son of Armand and Albert is a terrible person for asking his fathers to pretend to be straight, and yes his motive is selfish but it only appears nonsensical now because of the huge societal changes that have taken place since the mid 90s, in part because of media like The Birdcage or Will and Grace or Modern Family (a series that feels far too recent to make this list but which started long enough ago that gay marriage was not yet legal nationwide when it featured a committed gay couple raising a child as main characters).
So yes, there is a lot of genuine prejudice in older media. Yes there are things that were ignorant, or overtly bigoted, or the right term then and the wrong term now. But we need to engage with it to understand why and how things have changed since then, and to recognize when similar things are in need of changing now. The talking points stay the same, the targets just change, and it is vitally important to be able to see those talking points get re-applied. It is also vitally important to be able to recognize the difference between an ally using outdated terminology, and a bigot who knows all the right terms.
TLDR; consume older media, including and I would even argue especially media that is denounced as problematic. Find out why we are being told to avoid it, and decide for yourself if that reason is worthwhile.
Hi, im new to your blog! Imagine if Thomas Doherty played Michael Afton?
Like look at this guy! I still love Freddy Carters version.
hi there! :')
first time I'm hearing about/seeing this man, but damn!!! yes!!!
especially the third photo is SO movie!Michael Afton, holy shit! he would have been a great alternative!
Bright Like the Sun | Michael Afton x Trans!Male!Reader
just really needed something comforting like this with Michael, so, here it is!
hope you enjoy! take care! <3
summary; Michael is thinking about how lucky he is to have you and tells you all about it.
contents: Trans!Male!Reader; Reader is a Transgender Man; Trans Positivity; Implied/Referenced Gender Dysphoria; Implied/Referenced Past (Child) Abuse; Established Relationship; Emotional Comfort; Fluff; Cuddling; Kissing.
Throughout his life, Michael has always stayed in the shadows, not to be seen or heard. His father had made sure that Michael understood this early on. He's quickly gotten used to it. And in a way, he found comfort in it. Less pressure to fit in, less likely to be rejected, less expectations from others. After all, there was nothing to expect or miss when you didn't even know about its existence, when it was completely invisible to you.
It only ever hurt him when he noticed that this wasn't put on Vanessa, that she was allowed to be… well, to be. She was allowed to be seen and heard. She was allowed to make friends. Once, at least, when they were kids. Then, that incident happened, and Vanessa didn't have any friends afterwards, either. It was just them. But he could tell that she never really liked him. Was it because he resembled their father so much? Was it because he didn't try to fight him like she did? Was it that he actually admired their father, despite the pain he caused them?
When their father died, and Vanessa had been long gone, Michael was all alone for the first time in his life. Truly and utterly alone. Something inside of him broke that day, never to be fixed. He tried so hard to be okay with it, to enjoy being alone, to relish in being free. But that was the thing. He wasn't free. He was still in the shadows. Even in death, his father's shadow engulfed him in such a way that he couldn't catch the slightest glimpse of light. There was no enjoyment to finally understanding that he would never escape this Hell.
Michael has gotten so used to it all, to the shadows, the cold flames of his personal Hell, that he was almost blinded by the sudden light that struck him deeply when he met you.
Ever since he's gotten to know you, been allowed close to you, and to love you, Michael had to actively convince himself of his new reality. Because it was real. Because—after all this time—he found a way out of the darkness. Because you didn't look through him. Because you saw him, accepted him, loved him.
A tender kiss to his cheek brought Michael back to reality, where he was in his apartment, sitting on his bed with you beside him. He was probably staring at you again, while he's been lost in thought.
Smiling at you, Michael's hand found yours, fingers intertwined.
With your free hand, you closed the book you've been reading and put it on the bedside table. "Where did you run off to just now?" You tilted your head in curiosity.
"Thinking about how lucky I am to have you," Michael responded earnestly, feeling his face heat up with it. Being honest like that never got easier for him, he realised. It always felt like he was bearing his entire soul to you, and he was afraid that one day you might see a part of it that would turn you away from him forever.
A crooked, but incredibly warm, smile sat on your face upon hearing his words, "Yeah? What about it makes you feel lucky?"
"Everything," Michael began, but paused for a moment, chuckling softly when you playfully rolled your eyes at him, "You are like the sun itself. You make me feel warm—especially when you smile like you just did. You…" he sighed, struggling with the words that have been burning on his tongue for a while, "You let light into my world. I've always been surrounded by darkness. Until I met you. And suddenly there was light, too. Every time I look at you, that light only seems to become brighter."
Your eyes became wider and wider with each of his words. When he was done, you lowered your head, letting out a surprised little laugh that sounded suspiciously wet. Michael's heart sank. Shouldn't he have told you this? Was this the part of his soul that would scare you away, not by being too full of gruesome scars, but simply by being too much?
"Nobody has ever said something nice like that about me…" you whispered, then, after a few long moments of silence sat heavily between you and him. Looking back up at Michael, your smile was small and wobbly, but just as bright as before, if not brighter.
The tightness in Michael's chest unravelled, letting his heart soar, as warmth spread throughout. He pulled you close to him, gently nudging you to straddle his lap. His arms wrapped around your upper body. He leaned in to kiss your lips, just a light peck.
"I find it hard to believe that I'm the first one to see you like this, to experience the warm light you emit," Michael told you with a small, gentle smile of his own, "You've really never been told this before?"
With your hands resting on Michael's shoulders, you kneaded them gently, focusing your gaze on that, rather than his face. You shook your head slightly, "I wish," you scoffed softly, "but no. People have usually told me the exact opposite. Or, at the very least, insinuated that they couldn't love me fully because I was 'missing' something. You know. Not being a 'real' man and all that. According to them."
"Oh."
A wry chuckle sounded from you, "Yeah, oh."
It wasn't often that you talked about your experience as a trans person with him. In the beginning, you explained some things to him, ignorant as he had been, but once he had understood the basics, it didn't really come up anymore. He knew that you struggled with gender dysphoria, of course. He knew that intimately. But he didn't know, or understand, how your identity and the issues you have dealt with throughout your life have impacted your relationships with others.
"You know I don't see you as less of a real man than any other, right?" Michael wondered, feeling you knead his shoulders more intensely in response.
You nodded jerkily, "I know that," you stopped yourself, holding completely still, before letting your hands travel up Michael's shoulders to his neck and resting them on his cheeks, "I mean, I know that now. I tried to believe it before, but… I always expected you to eventually grow tired of me, or to realise that you're missing something in me, or that I'm simply not enough for you after all, or that—"
Quickly interrupting and silencing your onslaught of doubts, Michael pressed his lips firmly against yours, kissing you again and again, until you eventually reciprocated. He could feel your body relax against his, melting into him, making him smile into the kiss.
"You're perfect just the way you are," Michael murmured against your lips, kissing you between each sentence, "In my eyes, you're the most handsome man I've ever seen. There's so much to you that most people will never even know. And I consider myself lucky to be the one person, who gets to see and know you, all of you. I love your body. I love your mind. I love your heart, your soul," he paused, swallowing thickly, "I love you."
Neither of you have said that out loud to each other, until then.
Michael heard your breath stutter. He could feel your body tense under his hands, relaxing soon after when you let out a deep sigh, further melting into him.
"I love you, too," you whispered, "Thank you. For saying all those nice things. I don't know what to say now," you chuckled softly.
"You don't have to say anything," Michael told you with another kiss. He held you close, breathing in your scent, feeling your body against his, grounding him in reality, reminding him that he truly has gotten this lucky with you, and he would never stop reminding you of it, as well.
Michael closed his eyes, smiling to himself. He couldn't remember the last time he has felt at peace. It may well have been the first time in his life that he felt this way at all. He imagined that must have been what it was like to lie in the grass under the sun, enjoying its brightness and warmth. He could certainly get used to feeling this way; and he hoped you could, too.
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soooo embarrassing to get obsessed w a specific character when no one else gives a damn. like yeah heres post #574934. heres au idea #26482. heres art piece #9383. yes its all about the same person, yes i am rambling in the corner blair witch style. feel free to shoot me dead for this btw
Honestly it boils down to reparenting yourself & rewiring your own neuronal pathways & telling yourself a firm “stop” when you notice your mind slipping down negative loopholes & being present in the moment & enjoying being mid task rather than waiting for it to end & not thinking of inertia as your baseline and natural way of living
So tempting to keep embarking on the same self destructive cycle over & over & over again . But at some point you have to put ur foot down w ur own behaviors & be the thing that truly saves u
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I really love the idea that Mario and Luigi hold hands a lot. When they're walking somewhere they would constantly hold hands because they like to feel each other being close. Also hand holding as a method of calming the other (mostly Mario calming Luigi) down when one notices his bro's hands are shaking.
what being transgender has been feeling like for me, personally.
always just this pressing thought and feeling of "not right".
when I look in the mirror, when I look down at myself, when I touch my body in any way, when I feel my body move, when I wear clothes that are form-fitting, when I look at other people and inevitably compare myself to them. when I exist. simple as that.
it's been an ever-present thing since I started puberty many moons ago. nowadays, some days are better than others, but I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be, where this feeling isn't as crushing anymore. hopefully, with time and going through more bodily changes through HRT and top surgery, it'll become better. but that, only time will tell.
idk, just felt like making an artwork about it. not super happy with it, but the best I could do with my current capabilities, I suppose. let's hope this doesn't get taken down/flagged by tumblr, lol
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[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
