we're the final girls

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

sub this dom that. what if they are both completely chained to their devotion to each other. they’re rendered powerless by it. nobody is driving the bus.

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

The episode cannot be that bad

I see.

sometimes fear and desire kiss eachother on the mouth btw

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

i am going to suck you off! *puts in plastic vampire teeth and gives you the worst blowjob imaginable*

sam reid transcends being blond by being a genuinely strange person

reblogging a funny low note count textpost on your dash made by your mutual's mutual kinda feels like walking up to two strangers on the street and laughing loudly at their joke

greatest dynamic in the world IS strange, eccentric asshole and their normal and polite friend who on closer inspection is actually worse in deeply weird and unexpected ways

c’mon everybody!!! *runs off excitedly and no one follows me*