A hobbit named Branch

Uther: What do you want now, Merlin. 😑

Merlin: It’s simple — I’ll hypnotize you and as soon as I snap my fingers...

Uther: I don’t like these games...

Merlin: Let me finish, sire.

Uther: 🙄

Merlin: As soon as I snap my fingers, you’ll forget that you were gay. (snaps his fingers)

Uther: ...

Merlin: ...

Uther: Stop this nonsense, Merlin, I am not gay.

Merlin: Yes.

Uther: ...

Merlin: ...

Uther: No, but... wait a minute!

Merlin: Take all the time you need.

Uther: Merlin, Merlin I have never been gay!

Merlin: Exactly.

Uther: No but...

Merlin: Breathe, sire, it’s okay to have forgotten.

Uther: Cut it out, Merlin, I have never been gay!

Merlin: Yes, that’s what I said.

Uther: Merlin, you can’t just tell me I was gay and snap your fingers when I never was gay!

Merlin: Exactly, sire — you never were gay, exactly as I just said.

Uther: (drawing his sword) Stop this witchcraft, you damned...

Merlin: Help! (running from the king)

Merlin & Arthur | 3.06 "The Changeling"

Sexual crush (crowdsourced data): I desperately want to sleep with that person.

Romantic crush (crowdsourced data): I desperately want to date that person, hold their hand, call them pet names, introduce them as my partner.

Like, you bring me so much joy I have to pause everything I'm doing in life just to appreciate your existence. I have to drop my phone mid-text just to kick my feet and giggle 'cause talking to you makes my day. Thank you for that. You really don't know how much that means to me. Please, take this tiny purple dinosaur as a token of my appreciation for all that you've done.

You want help with homework? Done. You want to yap together about theories we have from a series? Absolutely. You want us to play a horror game together? Of course. You want some help with baking? We can figure it out together. You want me to help you film a youtube video? I'll be there without a second thought.

The next five years, Gaius watched as his beloved Camelot, that was full of life, happiness and magic, transformed into a kingdom of fear and hiding. Many ran away, many more were slaughtered, and those who remained, remained in fear.

The child born was raised without knowing the beautiful side of magic, only its destruction.

Gaius tried to keep the little prince away from all that, but, as he grew up, Uther’s ideals became Arthur’s. Gaius could only watch as the affectionate, outgoing boy he cared for transformed into a repressed, sometimes even cruel man.

Arthur showed his true heart once in a while; showing leniency when his father taught mercilessness, showing sensibility when his father taught hatred. But Gaius had to watch as he buried those traits deeper and deeper.

As Arthur reached his twenty years, Gaius thought he would rule same as Uther.

Then came Merlin, a magical boy with a great destiny on his shoulders. Against all odds, he dug his way into Arthur’s heart and brought it to surface, and transformed him once again into the sensible, kind boy he once was.

Mesmerised by Arthur’s change, Gaius failed to see as Merlin transformed into a shadow of himself, with a destiny that consumed his bright soul and left him with nothing.

276 words

He complains about this to Merlin (they're besties in this AU okay because I said so) who is immediately like "Leon you can really fuck around with them you know?", and Leon (yes, Epitome of the Knight's Code Leon) is like "You know what, hell yeah!" But duty to Camelot calls, and they promptly forget about the conversation, with Leon still enduring the Lords' comments about his lack of wife and child.

Then one day, on a patrol, a young druid girl (about four or five years old) shows up, bloodied and dirtied and orphaned. Leon immediately starts to do what Gwaine would later describe as 'mother hen' the girl, who now will refuse to speak to anyone but him. After learning about the fate of her parents, Leon decides to take her in as his ward.

Merlin then recalls the earlier conversation, and the pair concoct a plan to cause complete outrage amongst the nobles.

At the next feast, the older Lords are conversing with Leon about the girl he's taken in. Leon's first response is that she is a druid. The second is that he is considering asking Merlin or Mordred or Morgana (both good) to help her come into her power. The third is that he is going to personally oversee her sword training so that she becomes a proficient knight. The fourth (at roughly six goblets of wine in) is that she's actually his child born out of wedlock (this one is the only lie).

The Lords are outraged. Merlin accidentally spits wine onto an amused Arthur's robes when he cackles at the expression on Lord Alfred's face. Morgana and Gwaine are in tears. The rest of the Knights of the Round Table (who know who the girl actually is) are also smirking— bewildered— at Leon's antics.

A few weeks into this, someone makes a joke, probably Gwaine, about his true love being the knights code, then shenanigans lead someone else to just drop the book of the knights code on his face

This is what it looked like, fucking hilarious.

(And here‘s the full pic for those of you who have not seen this treasure:)