beth

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i don’t think he would like cuming on you all that much. might do it once or twice but he is waaaayyyy more into the idea of you being the one who cums on him. especially if you’ve been grinding on his chestMMM he loves it

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

before you two were official, he was absolutely a down bad pervert. always trying to catch a glimpse of your breasts when you lean forward, and then acting like a he wasn’t if you saw him staring. once he stole a pair of your undies and you never saw them again (he would rather die than confess), and he kept them like some kind of pathetic little trophy because he couldn’t have you yet. they got thrown out after the first night you two kissed.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s had sex once or twice before, but he’s nowhere near as experienced as you. he’s a little nervous the first few times, as all he wants is to make you feel good. and once he realises you like taking the lead, he melts into it, all eager and grateful and trying so hard to be good.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he loves when you’re on top. loves loves loves it. it’s like his religion. especially the view of you breast in his face & how easy it is for him to grab one in his mouth and suck on it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s not cracking jokes per say, but he is talkative in a breathless, needy way. will talk and ramble about how much he wants this, and how much he loves you the whole time.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he’s pretty tidy, and keeps up to date with grooming & he’s darker in the downstairs department compared to his head hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he’s so romantic it’s stupid. he loves holding eye contact, his hands always find some part of your body to caress whether it be your waist, your thighs, etc, he’ll be touching it. he’ll kiss you mid-anything just because he likes the feeling of you lips on his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

before you, it wasn’t really his thing. he did it, sure, but it wasn’t obsessive. and then you showed up and suddenly he can’t go to sleep without thinking about you — your laugh, the way you look at him, the tiny mean things you say when you’re flirting. it’s not even always explicit in his head half the time it’s just the feeling you give him. he’d get all worked up and then feel guilty about it, and then do it again the next night anyway. stopped doing it as much when he had finally had you though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

he’s mostly vanilla, but he loves when you’re a little bossy. he also has a small, thing for being teased in public. nothing too wild, just you sliding a hand up his thigh under a table … OOO he loves it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he prefers the bedroom over anything. but he is absolutely not immune to impulse. if you tug him into the changing room whilst your buying new clothes just to kiss him until he’s dizzy, he’s going along with it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

like what i said before, you being dominant makes his brain turn into soup. any kind of command, any kind of “be good,” and he’s finished

he also loses it when you do domestic stuff. you cooking for him, the two of you getting ready together in the morning …. he LOVES it. will always interrupt you and it will always end in either a quick make out or him eating you out.

also can definitely see him going crazy if you ever wear some eternia fashion.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he doesn’t want to actually hurt you, ever. he’s okay with being a little rough if he knows you want it, but anything that feels mean in a real way is a hard no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

MUNCH KING!!!111!!1!!, always so enthusiastic when getting the opportunity to eat you out. could do it for HOURS and HOURS and HOURS. don’t get me wrong, he likes receiving too, but he’ll always prefer the feeling of your thighs wrapped around his legs more than anything.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he’s a messy mix of desperate and gentle. he just wants you all the freaking time that it makes it hard for him to go slow, but he does want to appreciate you as much as he can.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies happen a lot, mostly because he’s almost always half a second away from getting a boner when around you. he’ll try to be patient, & a good boyfriend, but it never actually works.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he’ll take risks if you make him feel safe about it. he’s not the one who suggests something wild first, but he will absolutely follow your lead if you’re confident. he prefers getting home before things go too far, though like what i said, is not opposed to certain exhibitions.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he has ridiculous stamina, and he’s kind of smug about it once he realises. the most you’ve done in one session is probably 7–8 rounds, and after, he’s so proud of himself

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

doesn’t really get it at first and he’s a little intimidated by the concept. not in a judgmental way more like “am i not enough?”. low-key comes around once you bring up the concept of pegging him though 😊😊😊

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he prefers being teased, which is unfortunate for him because you’re so so good at it. he’ll try to tease you back sometimes but realistically, he just ends up teasing himself and always breaks first.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s is SO FREAKING LOUD. he’s not trying to be, but he forgets how to be quiet when he’s overwhelmed. he makes these soft, pathetic little sounds when you’re teasing him and then deeper ones when he finally loses control. he’ll try to muffle himself with a pillow once & fail immediately. you have gotten many noise complaints.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he would absolutely let you peg him if he trusted you enough. he’d be nervous, but he’d be weirdly into it. wants to do it a lot after the first time.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s big. maybe 6inches when soft and up to 8 inches when hard. he’ll act like it’s no big deal, but if you ever compliment him, it boosts his ego so hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

his sex drive is ridiculous. he got worked up just being around you before you two were dating, and that didn’t go away once you were if anything, it got worse because now he can have you and he’s addicted to it. he’d have you in his lap all day if you let him. and even when you’re not doing anything “sexy,” he’s still thinking about you in that manner. you’re just so beautiful to him all the time

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

like what i said earlier, he’ll do everything for you to make sure you’re okay but once he knows you are he will be lights out almost immediately.

it was almost embarrassing how obvious he was. he’d catch himself looking up whenever you walked past his little cubicle, like his head moved on its own. his coworkers noticed, too. they’d nudge each other and smirk whenever you were nearby, and one of them even asked him once, half-laughing, “why don’t you just ask her out? it’s not like she’d have many other suitors.

adam didn’t understand that at all. he was sure many men were lining up at your door just waiting for a sliver of your attention, just like him. if anything, he figured you probably had to dodge invitations like they were flying objects.

and then, one morning, he got the attention he wanted.

you knocked on his thin cubicle wall. “hey, adam? do you have a second?”

he immediately dropped everything he was doing and stood up so fast he nearly bumped his knees on the desk. “of course. definitely. yes. please, sit.” he gestured too enthusiastically to the chair across from him, and you sat down. it took him barely a millisecond to sit too, leaning forward. “so,” he said, trying to sound casual and failing, “what can i do for you?”

you smiled, but it looked a little strained. “this is going to sound stupid,” you let out a small laugh, “but you’re HR, so i thought i’d ask if you could do anything about some of the people in the office commenting on…” you trailed off and gestured vaguely toward yourself.

adam furrowed his brows. “on what?”

you sucked your teeth. “my body.”

“oh my god.” adam’s face dropped. he was shocked, and for a split second his mind went in the completely wrong direction. he didn’t realise that you meant people were commenting on your body in a negative manner. his first thought was that they were talking about you in a sexual way which was making you uncomfortable. “that’s awful. what have they been saying?”

you shook your head quickly. “i don’t really want to talk about it.”

“yeah, no. no, i get it,” he said, trying to be reassuring.

you breathed out, letting yourself be annoyed for a second. “they’ve just been saying i should, you know… lose a few pounds. or stop eating so much.” you rolled your eyes. “like, it’s nothing i can’t deal with. i am confident in my body. but it just sucks to hear it when our workplace keeps labeling itself as inclusive.”

adam blinked, his confusion creeping in slowly.

“wait, i’m sorry,” he said, carefully. “lose weight? why would anyone want you to do that?”

you lifted your shoulders in a small shrug, like you didn’t want to make it a bigger thing than it already was.

“you’re beautiful,” he blurted. and then his whole body froze, because he realised what he’d just said and his face went hot. “not that i mean that i find you- i mean, i do, i definitely do,” he stammered, immediately regretting every word as it left his mouth. “i’m just saying that, like, objectively. lots of people would think that. and anyone who wants you to change is probably just… jealous. or hateful. because you’re gorgeous. again, not coming from me, coming from- from other people. other people in the world.” he was rambling now, and he knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t stop. his brain was short-circuiting in real time. “they think you’re gorgeous.”

you stared at him for a second, and then you gave a small, amused smile. “right.” you stood up, slowly, your eyebrows slightly furrowed, not completely sure on how well that talk went.

adam took in a deep breath, forcing his shoulders to relax. “thank you,” you said, softer. “and if you could deal with some of them, i’d appreciate it.”

“i will,” adam said immediately. “i promise. i’ll handle it.” he sounded almost fierce about it, which made him even more embarrassed, but he meant it.

you turned to leave, and his heart dipped because he thought that was it. that was the moment. the closest he’d ever get. and he’s fucked it massively.

but then you paused at the entrance of his cubicle and looked back over your shoulder.

“and maybe we should get dinner sometime, by the way,” you said. your eyes flicked over him, playfully. “i think you’re beautiful too.”

and then you walked away.

adam sat there for a second, staring at the spot where you’d been standing, then slowly lowered his head into his hands.

“oh my god,” he whispered to himself, happily, because it was the only sentence his brain could form.

celebrates the most when you score a goal or something

chris will tease him about his blush & it’s the first time he sees arthur get actually defensive

he doesn’t want you to know unless it’s him telling you (as if there hasn’t been a million edits shipping you two already)

be calling and messaging you ALL. THE. TIME

“OMG look at this Ladybug.” “I think you would really like this restaurant. I just tried it with Bach. Maybe me and you can go at some point.”

i also fear he is one of those freak who has perfectly grammar when texting

i can so see him getting a call from you whilst at that filming weirdest restaurants with the sidemen, and getting so freaking embarrassed when the lady answers then proceeds to just read some of the latest text he sent you

chris & ethan were DYING from laughter

also more on this message: “I think you would really like this restaurant. I just tried it with Bach. Maybe me and you can go at some point.”

closest he ever gets to asking you out

if he just adds, ‘maybe me and you can go at some point. like maybe as a date.’

but no, he never will

tried to support you the best he can when you do go on dates though

and definitely roles his eyes when he has to meet one of you bfs

thank god they’re all jerks so that you don’t stay with them for long

he won’t ever tell you about his crush but he will slip up at some point which is how you find out

HARRY LEWIS

he will always be there

i feel like if he has a crush on someone he would just want to always be near them

so if you’re in a video

he will always be there

looks at you first when he makes a joke, hoping to see you laugh and smiles even brighter when you do

definitely tries to get you in any sidemen sunday that needs a guest and definitely tries to get you two paired up

everyone has clocked his shit so quickly

he just acts kinda different around you compared to someone he sees as a friend

hard to explain but he’s somehow louder yet also quieter?

he will get quiet and grin a little to himself when he sees you look at him but get really loud when your eyes aren’t on him so it’s like a catch 22

the sidemen tease him about it in videos but no one ever says you name, all is known to the public is that harry has a crush on someone

“so how’s it going with you know who, harry?” “oh fuck off.”

when hes drunk he admits a little too much too you sometimes

you definitely found out about his crush whilst driving him home after a pub golf since he called you to pick him up and refused drives from anyone else

he was just rambling in the passenger seat about how much he likes you

and when he wakes up in the morning he very much hopes that last night was just a dream

CHRISMD

you two are like a dynamic duo

you would definitely see him as your best friend

which makes him feel bad for having a crush on you cause he doesn’t want to be seen as someone who only got close to you bc of that (even though he only started having a crush on you after you two got close)

in each others videos all the time

he will invite you to anything at all

there is definitely a time when you are included in the __ WOMEN vs 1 YOUTUBER/FOOTBALL vidoes

and chris was blushing very hard because he liked seeing you try to get his attention and impress him

even if it is just for the video (let a man dream damn)

he blushes so easily around you

gets embarrassed sometimes when he notices that you are slightly taller then him but eventually comes around to really liking the fact (he kinda loves seeing you in heels …)

you jokingly use him as an arm rest which is something he always laughs at way too hard no matter what

bites you OFTEN

you are his main victim and sometimes you just let him which makes his crush almost worse

chris can never tell how you actually feel bc you act so similar to him

but if he looks at it beyond surface level, you act that way with everyone

which just confuses him so much

he isn’t the one to tell you that he likes you

whilst filming a football video i can see someone like angryginge or arthurtv accidentally mentioning it like “at least i don’t have a crush on her, chris”

they don’t even realise they say it and no one else even pays attention to it which makes it almost worst

because he knows that you heard it

and it was so awkward for the rest of the video between you two