Absolute Drarry Trash

When @bipolar4autistic said

ilya: are👏 you👏 fucking👏 dating👏 rose👏 landry👏

shane: i just wanted to stop looking like i was always going to the gym

but my personal headcanon is that whevenver shane wears something of ilya's he gets infinitely more compliments than ilya does when wearing the same clothing item, and this INFURIATES ilya.

like they'll stop at a local coffee shop ilya frequents, and shane has thrown on one of ilya's button-ups, and the barista is like "i like your shirt btw" and shane is just like "oh, thanks!", then as soon as they're out of earshot ilya is like "i have worn that shirt a million times when coming here and they've never said ANYTHING >:("

or shane takes a pic with a fan at an airport wearing one of ilya's slutty tank tops, and the pic circulates twitter with everyone being like "anyone else really like this style of shirt on hollander?" "tank top hollander🥵" "holy biceps 👀"

and ilya is like "tank tops have been MY THING forever >:(("

it even happens with the centaurs, like one day shane pulls up to practice in ilya's rick owens sweatpants cause he was too lazy to find his own and one of the rookies is like "yo hollander are those rick ownens? thats sick asf" and ilya is glaring daggers. then he shows up to the next practice in the same sweatpants and no one says anything and he just silently seethes.

"hollander i have worn those pants for YEARS, i was wearing rick before it was cool!! i was handwashing your CUM out of those pants before they even knew the name rick owens, but the ONE TIME you wear they act like it is brand new >:((("

shane fully knows how much this frustrates ilya and he absolutely plays into it, like he'll fully take the compliments and never mention that the clothes are actually ilya's. everytime he gets a compliment, he just shoots ilya a shit eating grin.

all while ilya is like "he's STEALING my drip!!!!"

HEATED RIVALRY WEEK 2026

@drarrymicrofic | prompt: retrograde | wc: 250

Harry gave an officious little nod and stood. “It’s decided then.”

Ron frowned. “We weren’t talking about anything, mate.”

“I’m going to do it.” Harry nodded again.

“Do what?” Hermione looked up from her book—honestly, who brought a book to pub night?

“I’m going to go talk to Malfoy. Draco.”

Ron spat out his beer. Hermione’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Last time—”

“Last time was different,” Harry said. “I’m trying again. I don’t care if I’m bollocks at it.”

“It’s healthy to do things you’re not very good at sometimes,” Luna said as Ginny slid into the booth. “What are you trying?”

“He’s going to talk to Malfoy,” Ron said.

Luna frowned. “Oh, Harry, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“But you just said!”

“Well, you see, Mercury’s in retrograde right now, which makes communication difficult,” Luna said, eyes wide. “Disagreements are more likely, misunderstandings—well, you and Draco are already rather prone to those, aren’t you.”

“I don’t care how retro Mercury is,” Harry snapped, tossing back his pint. “I’m going to talk to him.”

**Three minutes later**

“Well,” Hermione said.

“That’s certainly not what I would call ‘talking’,” Ginny said with a grin.

Ron looked ill. “I can’t believe this is happening again,” he said, turning away from the sight of Harry’s hands trailing lower down Draco’s body. Draco’s hands were in Harry’s hair, unyielding, insistent.

for the @drarrymicrofic prompt weak

Potter lives, but he looks half-dead. Filthy. Starved. Hollow, until the Aurors arrive.

Draco has never been held like this. Clutched, like a talisman. Like an anchor.

He’s not going to Azkaban, then.

“Potter,” he murmurs. “I can’t breathe.”

also shane at 4am in the morning:

they're unwinding for the day together just casually playing footsie while doing their own thing on either end of the couch and then ilya just says something in passing without thinking about it, feels shane go very still, and looks up to see shane make eye contact and slooooowly start pulling his feet away

but also he would then want to drop it at a time in which ilya would then not be able to discuss it with him fully in that moment because it already took working up to saying it so he would need a cool-down period before he was ready to actually Talk About It (and, to him, it's polite to give ilya a good reason to wait before he has to return with his opinion about it!! he's being nice!! ilya has a built-in excuse for the delay in having to give an answer!! shane would appreciate that if the roles were reversed!!)

with the end result that poor ilya just gets fucking. guerilla warfared with kink exploration ideas.