thoughts, art and other unemployed activities

not to be completely naive but I just thought about how me and some of my closest friends have known each other for the same time that shane and ilya have but they’ve had to hide their affection for each other the entire time and I’m not okay? what do you mean you can’t just roll up to their place with a gift and a hug and a happy birthday I love you and you mean the goddamned world to me

shane: mom…can you take three steps back please?

My world is dark and blue, and I look out the window, and there she is, a half-moon, quietly bright.

I adore the idea of a love so great that it transcends affection. it is no longer active obsession nor devotion, no. it's a deep, unhealing fracture of the heart, like the heart is a house to haunt. it is as inescapable as it is stifling. like phantom hands that wrap around the soul's neck. blink and it's gone. blink and it's there. pressing down, down, down