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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@linbrocky1221

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Eddie invites Steve over to meet his family, which consists only of Wayne and one feral cat by the name of Stripes.
When Steve arrives, he sits down for dinner. Wayne didn’t make anything fancy, just some canned food he dumped out and heated up on the stove.
“Where’s Eddie?” Steve asks.
“Out looking for his pet. He’ll be along in a minute. Dig in.”
When Eddie returns a few minutes later, he sets down a furry striped animal, which waddles over to the cat bowl on the floor and starts to eat.
Steve watches the animal warily. “Uhh, Eddie? I thought you said Stripes was a cat?”
“He is?” Eddie looks at Steve like he’s lost his mind.
Steve looks back at the animal. It’s very clearly not a cat. Then he looks to Wayne.
Wayne says nothing. He just keeps eating his ravioli.
“Eddie, I think you need to get your eyes checked,” Steve says finally, “because that’s a raccoon.”
Eddie had promised that it would only be a last resort. They weren't exactly overflowing with an abundance of good parents around them as examples, and frankly, Eddie wasn't sure he counted her among them. Still, they'd never tried to keep a very tiny human being alive, and he'd pinned her number to the corkboard with a sigh. Teenagers, he told Steve repeatedly, were not the same as infants. And although he understood arguments that their teenagers were a special kind of stupid, who had actually been very hard to keep alive, Eddie maintained they should have a backup plan available in case something got tricky when the baby arrived. He was, after all, only three months old. They might need help.
And here they were. At last resort. And earlier than he'd expected.
He sighed and dialed, hoping that Steve wouldn't hear the phone from the other room where he was in the rocking chair beside the crib.
"Help," he said.
"I'll be there in six minutes."
When Joyce arrived, she shoved a glass casserole dish into his hands and immediately went to the kitchen to wash her hands. She looked at Eddie expectantly.
"He won't sleep," Eddie said simply.
She smiled. "Well, babies not sleeping is—"
"No. The baby sleeps fine. It's Steve. Steve won't sleep."
Confusingly, Joyce smiled wider and patted him on the shoulder. "Ah," she said. "The firstborn problem. Where is he?"
"Nursery," Eddie sighed.
"On it. Why don't you go grab a shower?"
The suggestion was gentle, but Eddie still chuckled. He definitely needed that, even he could admit it. When he reemerged from the bathroom in a waft of cinnamon-scented soap, he found Steve, sprawled fully clothed on top of the duvet.
"Joyce said she'll watch him," Steve murmured, exhausted.
Eddie frowned. He moved to Steve and started pulling layers of clothing off of him. He offered Steve the soft grey tee he preferred to sleep in, but let him keep his boxers. It felt like more work than it was worth to get him into different pants. He was disappointed; he'd been hoping that Joyce would offer a better solution than someone else pointlessly watching the baby, but. Still. Sleep was sleep.
They both fell asleep immediately; Eddie dreamed of a unicorn that fed off the native honeysuckle in their yard. Just as the Protect Unicorns Society was telling him the house was going to be taken over by the government, Eddie awoke to a sharp cry, followed by the sound of Steve bolting out of bed.
Eddie followed at a more sedate pace, curious and also alarmed by Steve's movement. In the nursery, Joyce stood in the middle of the room, holding the baby, a bottle of formula in one hand as she rocked.
"Oh, look at that. Less than two minutes and you're both here," she teased with a grin. "It's almost like you're going to hear your child no matter how tired you are. Eddie, I declare you on shift. Steve, go back to bed. He's safe. He's got two great dads. Shifts, boys. You'll survive this." Eddie took the baby and smiled at Steve. Joyce put both her hands on Steve's shoulders and squeezed.
"It's hard. It's scary. It never gets less hard or less scary," she said gently. "But you've got this. Don't make Eddie call me again. He hated it."
Steve looked at Eddie over Joyce's head and gave him a small smile at the sight of the baby, curled into his chest, quietly calming down. She patted him once more and left.
"We've got this?" Steve asked quietly.
Eddie grinned. "We've got this.”
He shifted the baby to a more comfortable position. The tiny weight in his arms felt both impossibly fragile and remarkably sturdy. He watched Steve's shoulders drop, the tension visibly draining away.
"Joyce is right about shifts, you know," Eddie continued, keeping his voice low and soothing as much for Steve as for the baby.
Steve ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "But you have that commission due next week. You need sleep, too."
"Hey, I've pulled all-nighters for way less important reasons." Eddie smiled, carefully settling into the rocking chair. "Remember when I stayed up three nights straight to finish that D&D campaign for the kids?"
"That was different. This is…" Steve gestured vaguely at the baby, who had started to drift off again, tiny fingers curling around Eddie's shirt.
"This is everything," Eddie finished for him. “This is everything."
Eddie Munson is a small fantasy writer. He has his fanbase, sure, but he is not famous in any way. Imagine the surprise in the faces of the couple of fans chatting with him at a book fair while he's signing their books when world renowned actor Steve Harrington comes up to bring Eddie iced coffee to fight the heat.
Steve just came to support his boyfriend because he was nervous no one was going to show up to his first signing event ever and wanted Steve there, he doesn't get what the big deal is.
Thinking about a fic idea right now where it's pre-season four Steddie. They're in an established relationship. They're in a screaming match type argument because Steve's being secretive (about the Upside Down trauma he's experienced), and he's basically like "No, Eddie, I don't want you to know. I don't need you to fucking know."
And Eddie, mid screaming match, just yells out, "I worry because I fucking love you! Is that so hard to comprehend? Jesus Christ! I wanna know why I wake up in the middle of the night to you fuckin' shaking and sobbing, and I immediately reach over and hold you, or why you get these awful fucking headaches from head trauma you won't talk about, or why it's so fucking important that all these random middle school kids are in your life. I just wanna fucking know you. Because I love you! But how dare I, I guess, for loving you, right? 'Cause maybe there's a wall here. Maybe we just aren't on the same page."
And then Eddie shoulders around Steve, grabs his car keys, and makes haste to the front door. Behind him, Steve just goes, wetly and croaky, "Where are you going?"
"I'm going out. I can't...I can't be here right now. Not like this." But before he slams the door behind himself, he just says one more time, "I love you. Is that so hard to believe?"
When Eddie comes back later, it's to Steve still awake on the couch. Eyes puffy, cheeks red and inflamed. He rises from the sofa, apologies blazing from his tongue, half-choked explanations. And then Eddie just amends, "No, shhh, stop. I'm sorry. I know you're sorry, I know. But I...I can't just go prodding an already painful bruise. I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry."
Steve wants to explain so bad, but he can't. Not only because it's hard, but because he wants to keep Eddie safe.
That is...until Eddie accidentally joins in on cracking the secret Russian code.

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Steve is crying.
Eddie came home and Steve is crying.
Eddie was in the entry way and he can see Steve in the kitchen and he’s crying. He’s facing away from Eddie, heating something up on the stove, and he’s crying. Eddie can hear him sniffling. He can see the way his shoulders move just slightly and a thousand thoughts rush through Eddie’s mind.
Robin’s hurt. No. Steve wouldn’t be here if she was hurt. When she scraped her knee falling off of her bike, Steve was by her side all afternoon.
His parents called. It wouldn’t make sense. Steve never left their phone number after their move.
He’s failed a class. Again, wouldn’t make sense. Steve was on top of his grades, making sure he wasn’t forgetting any tests or projects. He was taking college seriously.
Eddie’s fucked up.
This is the only logical answer.
Eddie made Steve upset … Just how?
This morning’s events ran through his head. Steve got up for a run, showered, woke Eddie up (fully) with some kisses. They messed around. Then Eddie went off to work.
Did he kiss Steve before he left?
Surely he did. He’d never forget.
Did he forget to tell Steve he loved him? Never in a million years. He tells him that every time he leaves the room.
Did he forget an event?
It’s not Steve’s birthday. That’s in the summer.
It’s not their anniversary … is it?
Shit.
Is it the anniversary when Steve first asked Eddie out?
Or the anniversary of the day when Eddie realized they’ve been dating (for two months!)?
Or the anniversary of moving in together?
Or the first time they said “I love you” to each other?
Shit. Was it the first time they’ve fucked?
Somehow Steve keeps all these dates in his head and Eddie can barely keep track of them.
Whatever date it was: Eddie forgot to tell Steve happy anniversary this morning.
Shit.
He should get flowers.
He turned on his heel — his boots squeaking on the linoleum floor.
“Oh, hi Eddie!” Steve greeted with a sniff.
Eddie turned to look at Steve and it’s worse than he thought. Steve’s eyes were so watery, a slight red. He had to been crying all day.
“I made supper,” Steve said. “Should be done here soon.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Eddie said, rushing over to Steve. He took Steve’s face in his hands, wiping away any loose tears. “I’m so sorry that I forgot.”
Steve furrowed his brow. “Forgot what?”
“I —“ Eddie trailed off. He couldn’t think of what made today so special. “I don’t know what today is.”
“Friday?” Steve asked confused.
“No, I mean, yes,” Eddie said. “I just meant — I’m sorry. For whatever I did. I hate to see you cry.”
“That’s not what you said last night,” Steve rolled his eyes, turning back to the meat sauce.
“I still need to bake the lasagna, so you have plenty of time to shower,” Steve sniffled, wiping at his eye. “Will you take the trash out? That onion is still killing me.”
“Onion?” Eddie asked, his eyes darted to the trash can.
“It’s so strong,” Steve laughed. “It’s been bothering me since I started.”
“Of course,” Eddie laughed. He gathered the trash and pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek. “I love you.”
Eddie couldn’t help but laugh as this day will forever be remembered as day he thought he fucked up.
It's summer, it's so hot that Eddie spends all his time at Steve's.
Everyone is convinced they're having a secret relationship, but Eddie defends himself by saying he's just there to enjoy Steve's pool. As everyone knows, he can't stand the heat, and Steve is kind enough to let him use his pool. If there's any secret relationship going on, it's between Eddie and the pool, certainly not between Eddie and Steve.
Everyone seems more or less convinced by Eddie's arguments and moves on to something else. Everyone except Robin…
And she's absolutely right not to be convinced, because Eddie and Steve have been having a secret relationship for several months already.
(Robin cornered Steve to make him confess the truth. He tried to deny it by echoing Eddie's arguments, but she gave him a “not to me, Steve Harrington” look, and he was forced to confess everything. As if he could hide anything from his platonic soulmate, anyway).
countries will be like “nooooo our birth rate is falling exponentially and it’s effecting our economy” and immigrants will be like “hey can you let us in so we can boost your economy and fill your empty jobs and raise our children here” and inevitably the country is like “the only thing worse than a large scale collapse of our population is letting foreigners live here”
Are you frustrated you can't leave second kudos on AO3? or third kudos? or whatever-who's-counting kudos?
Well, have I got the html for you!
Plop any of these in a comment (by copy&pasting the code) to make an author's day and show your appreciation!
Second kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/tHMjbb6/second-kudos.png" alt="second kudos">
Third kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/52bggQH/third-kudos.png" alt="third kudos">
nth kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/6y7qGtC/nth-kudos.png" alt="nth kudos">
yet another kudos: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/wKtcj0s/yet-another-kudos.png" alt="yet another kudos">
It will look something like this (and will be transparent with white outline on dark backgrounds):
Feel free to spread and use these as much as you like! (and if you have ideas for other variations, let me know ✌️)
So happy to see people enjoying these and spreading the love 💖
UPDATE with some suggestions from the replies!
From requests: cookie kudos — you've already left kudos here — should be sleeping kudos
HTML codes under the cut.
Leave an author extra kudos!!
I can't wait to use all of these ^_^
As someone who has been lucky enough to receive some of these I assure you they are a delight to behold and make the author very happy.
"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."
Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]
HEY wanna read but annoyed on where to find copies of books?
Here's an archive with millions of PDFs of books and papers and magazines and essays and stuff.
I've been looking for such archives, thanks
i was not going to publish this essay because i don’t like to yell but here the fuck i am.
the first link broke, here you go

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."
Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]
HEY wanna read but annoyed on where to find copies of books?
Here's an archive with millions of PDFs of books and papers and magazines and essays and stuff.
Derek and his puppies.
#ANNOYED SCOTT #KANIMA JACKSON #BOW IN HER HAIR ERICA #CLINGY BABY ISAAC #DISTANT BOYD #THIS IS MY FAVORITE PICTURE ON THE INTERNET
#ilya baby get behind me
HEY HELLO JUST GIVE ME THE GUN INSTEAD
(sorry @joyousmistake these tags killed me)
Eddie who’s big into PDA with his partners. Hanging off of them, holding their hand, kissing any part of their skin. Practically inseparable from his partner when he’s in a safe space to express his love.
And Steve who watches from a distance longing to be the object of Eddie’s love.
No one knows but Steve is an honorary member of the Hellfire club.
It all came to be because Eddie received a memo stating that every club had to have a minimum number of members and his club was lacking one, meaning that if he want the club to be kept by the school board he had to find another member or close the club.
Eddie knew that if they were closed, they would never be able to open it up again even if they had many more members. It was not lost to him that even more students and parents thought they were some satanic cult or something, so he set himself the mission to find someone who could, at least, lend their name for the cause.
It kind of fell on his lap when golden boy Steve Harrington came looking for some pills to deal with his headaches. Eddie told Steve that he would discount some if he could do them the favor to sign in. Steve obviously rejected the idea, but if Eddie was known for something was his charisma (and power to insist on a matter) which finally made Steve caved and agree to do it, with the condition that it would only be his name and no one could ever find out he was in the club. Eddie accepted and even joked about the club also not wanting to have anything to do with Steve's name.
The next day, Steve went to the secretaries office to sign in to the club with Eddie coming with. The only acknowledgement of the deed was a casual nod that the hellfire members gave Steve when he came out of the office and nothing more.
And well, Eddie really intended to keep his promise, if it wasn't for another mandated rule he find out later. Every member of the club had to appear and be listed on the yearbook's page and photo. Which, sucks, but it had to be done. Eddie pleads again to Steve to come to the photo session (and wear the hellfire t-shirt) but Steve is adamant that it would never happen. This goes on for a whole week, Eddie following Steve asking him to make an appearance and Steve reminding him of his promise to only use his name and nothing more.
Once Eddie realizes Steve is serious about it, he is defeated and is ready for the club to be closed.
The day of the photoshoot everyone's mood is on the floor, this is the end of it, some are angry at Steve and the others are just down that they will be closed for a technicality like this. The photographer comes in and install the camera and just when he is directing them to the frame, to the surprise of everyone, Steve appears and without futher ado hurries Eddie to give him the "stupid t-shirt". Steve makes Eddie and everyone in the club to promise to keep his face out of everyone's yearbook one way or another and they comply.
When the yearbook comes out, everyone at school is shocked to see a page blatantly ripped out of every copy. One would think this was going to be reported or took to the principal but when people realized the missing page was about the Hellfire club, everyone took it as a blessing more than an attack. Aside from that, the only other proof of Steve is his list of extracurriculars but, has such a long list that the Hellfire club name is buried between the names. Leaving any trace of his involvement completely erased.
At least everyone thinks so, because there is a copy of the yearbook with that page intact and it's tucked securely in Eddie Munson's trailer.
That is until Dustin finds it out the day he comes to help Eddie and Steve move in together. He starts skimming through the thing when he spots the page and his eyes bulge when he sees the main photo. He has to read the footnote to really get that Steve Harrington was indeed a member of the Hellfire club and it's not a figment of his imagination.
Needless to say, Dustin spends the whole dinner asking questions about it while Steve is sending daggers at Eddie for keeping a copy without telling him.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Steddie inspo