Where did you sleep today ?

one thing i hate about english is your open compound words. what do you mean it's a light switch and not a lightswitch or a water bottle instead of a waterbottle. get real

why won't you let your words frot.

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

Reblog for unexpected $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

uhh did i forget how time works or was the first post in december 2018 and the second in august 2018

Reblog for time travelling $$$ dropping into your Bank account.

unrestrained summer fun

“why are you, as someone in their 30s, still on tumblr” oh so you think you’re gonna be normal when you’re my age? you think you’re gonna be CURED?? you think the witches’ curse will have been lifted by then?? cmon now

(removes the heating pad from my lower back) also baby this is my house???

This is, in fact, my house.

Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?

You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.

Counteroffer: Big dramatic cloak to protect your identity that you drop on the floor before every fight

#there are two wolves inside you #one is edna mode #the other is megamind  (@remnantofahero) 

I can’t believe the compromise is Obi-Wan Kenobi

Okay, but I love that Gandalf is just dropping his cloak to reveal another, slightly smaller cloak underneath it.

World Heritage Post

Don't use AI to write. Use cocaine like a real author.

Living alone by choice is funny because you're like "I wish I had someone to come back to who added light and warmth and companionship to my home, even distantly" but also if anyone else touches your kitchen you'll explode so you can't have that

"The winter sunset is so early and the home is so lonely" *remembers the roommate who never ever even once took the trash out* "and it's staying that way no one is allowed the fuck inside"

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

meows at you loud as fuck. meows at you loud as fuck again

#my brain deciding what information to retain

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career