my boyfriend said I was using my blog title wrong

I had been nervous for a while about this trip. my extended family has known that I'm gay, nonbinary, and that I live out of wedlock with my very lesbian partner for a while, but I've never brought up that I live with two girlfriends instead of just one. I worried it would cause a lot of confusion and scorn. but my parents invited both of my partners, and I didn't feel that I could adequately explain both of their presences platonically. I decided that I would have my mom explain polyamory to my much more open-minded aunt, and took it upon myself to approach my grandparents with my confession a month or so before the trip.

they took it well, shockingly so. I assumed this might have been due to the fact that my mother had previously verbally bludgeoned them both into using my proper pronouns post-transition, and also due to the fact that there had been several family spats forcing my grandparents to be more openminded about The Gays before. they're remarkably loving and accepting of my status as a nonbinary lesbian, for seventy-five year old lifelong mormons. we have a very good relationship despite the fact that they clearly don't understand a lot of my choices. for this particular revelation, there wasn't even a whisper of open disapproval, just a "well, we'll always love you and hope you're happy no matter what." I took this as a good sign that my grandparents are becoming more accepting and went on my way.

my aunt, meanwhile, had been dealing with much less acceptance on the grandparents front. she'd invited her friend kevin, who by all appearances is a totally normal dude, to join us on the trip. my aunt is a single divorced mom, and kevin is unmarried. these two facts alone were enough to a) convince my grandpa that they were Definitely Going To Have Sex Out Of Wedlock if they went on a trip together and b) convince my grandma that kevin was Definitely Going To Graphically Murder My Aunt if they had sex with each other. their resultant mormon fuss over these completely unfounded conclusions was enough to get them to both completely boycott the trip.

when my aunt told me these things over dinner the other night, I was completely dumbfounded. I knew my grandparents didn't approve of their children and grandchildren committing Fornication, but they'd never been as hysterical over me and my older sibling living with unwed partners as they were over my aunt hanging out with her platonic guy friend. it seemed not totally out of character, but still shockingly at odds with their previous attitudes towards me and my partners. I was bringing not one, but TWO lovers I'm not married to on this trip. was that not worthy of an outcry? isn't it super weird of them to care more about potential straight sex than my Homosexual Threesomes?

I brought this up and my aunt cackled.

"I told Dad the very same thing," she said, grinning. "I was like, 'why do you care about this but not Nic and their two lesbian lovers?' and do you know what he said to me?"

I did not.

"He said, 'well that's different. Lesbians can't have sex.'"

my dad HOWLED. the only other person at the table, kevin, choked on his drink. I was too dumbfounded to say anything.

"did you tell him?" my dad said through his laughter. "does he know?"

"I think he wouldn't get it even if I did. I'm pretty convinced that he thinks the only sex that counts is the kind that has a penis involved. anyway, I kind of don't want to talk about lesbian sex with my dad while we're arguing."

This is Doris Pollas, the cofounder of the organisation now known as lgbt+ Denmark which by being founded in 1948 is one of the oldest ongoing queer organisation in the world.

Doris lived in a farm in Jutland as a child. She was always butch and figured out she was a lesbian in her teens. When she heard about a club in copenhagen where boys kissed boys and girls kissed girls she went just some months after and it was through that club she started a paper connecting queer people all up to seventies and co founded lgbt+ Denmark.

She is now 97 years old and wishes for every queer person to have an as loving and accepting family as she did.

Source

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”