(fast-paced, uneasy music)

let me be pervertly clear

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

I have GOT to stop spending $30

Call your man "rock bottom" the way so many losers consider hitting him up to be the absolute lowest point of their entire lives.

A hero saw me disrespect their man and decided to rapid-fire machine gun counteract it.

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

i'm going to write a fic about darth vader except he doesn't have the helmet or armor or missing limbs or scars and he doesn't have any powers and he's actually just upper management at a big organization instead of a sith lord and also most of the fic is just him giving words of affirmation to his reader-insert wife

If you like the word “queer” reblog.

#fun umbrella. we r all sitting under it like the big rainbow thing in elementary school gym class