fix your heart or die

The Buried has always been an abstract and distant fear to me. I tend to skip “Lost John’s Cave,” episode 15, because I just don’t get the fear of a caves system, even with the added scare of “leaving your sister to die in the dark in your place.” I’ve never even been near a cave, let alone gone spelunking! 

The closest I got to understanding the Buried is in episode 88, Dig. Despite the title, I almost didn’t categorize “Dig” as an episode about the Buried when I made my organizational monstrosity. Set at the beginning of season 3, it touches on what I feel is the theme of Jon’s journey through the Eye in this season: uncovering knowledge at all costs. This is the season where Jon gets his hand crispened, gets asphyxiated, gets Hunted (twice), travels across the whole fucking world, betrays incredibly dangerous hunters, and has a panic attack while destroying knowledge. No other season has Jon put in such sequential, continuous danger, and it happens as Jon hunts for the truth of this maddening situation he’s found himself trapped in, for its rules and limits, and for the individual rules and limits of the Stranger and the Unknowing.

The episode itself prioritizes the dangers of hunting for truth. Martin’s reading of the tape is bookended by both Basira and Melanie’s quests for truth. Basira is looking for Daisy, and when she discovers not where she is but what she’s doing, she is now burdened with the knowledge that Daisy may kill a friend; later when she does find Daisy, she gets taken hostage by Elinus, drawing the two of them further into the web of their undoing. On the other end, Melanie has begun poking around the Archives. She asks about Jude–who in the next episode injures Jon as the price for asking questions–and the missing calliope, another link in the chain to the misfortune of finding the Unknowing.

Due to my intersex anatomy that makes it physically impossible for me to use tampons or diva cups I use reusable pads and have them in all shapes and sizes for different stages.

But pads for really heavy flow that are shaped like this, both the single use and reusable kind, don’t work if I turn them the right way.

I have to flip them so the wide end is at the front otherwise they don’t cover fully. Which makes no sense because clearly they’re meant for when you sit, but they work perfectly for me when I turn them the wrong way .

I’m just curious if those of you who use pads have the same “problem” where you have to flip them?