glitterishly bitterishly jittery

What follows is a series of takes that are scrapped due to lies or manipulation. Janus starts out being subtle, using clever half-truths, credible-sounding but exaggerated language, scientific jargon, meaningless buzzwords.... all real advertising techniques sprinkled in amongst the actual facts. With Logan explaining the dishonesty of his tactics afterward each time, it’s basically an educational video about how marketing can mislead you. But after the first few takes, Janus finds that messing with Logan is more fun than getting away with it and becomes increasingly blatant.

Janus: Scientists agree that this is the best jam in the world.

Logan: Cut. No, they don’t. Furthermore, they couldn’t, because we don’t have an empirical scale to reliably measure the overall quality of all types of jam. It is a subjective matter of literal and figurative taste.

Janus: Can you let me finish one take?

Logan: (giving him a handbook) I will when you follow the ethical rules and guidelines I gave you. Review them and go again.

***

Janus: This jam contains no allergens and no uranium. That’s right, no uranium! Absolutely no toxic radioactive material has been anywhere near this flavour of Crofter’s, because we care about your safety.

Logan: Cut. You shouldn’t say that.

Janus: Why not? It’s true.

Logan: It’s not relevant. The absence of harmful radiation is a standard of health and safety that consumers should be able to take for granted.

Janus: I’m sorry, is there uranium in this?

Logan: By making an unnecessary disclaimer for your product in particular, you imply that other, rival products may contain that hazard.

Janus: I didn’t say that. When did I say that?

Logan: I said ‘imply’. Go again.

***

Janus: (to sad, sentimental music) Hello. If you’re in the target audience for this video, you have money to spare that you can spend on all kinds of little things you don’t really need. Things that really just serve to make you happy. But if you buy this jam, you’ll be making Thomas happy. Not only will you support him financially, you’ll validate the passion he put into this collaboration, and how much he cares about Sanders Sides. And if you deprive him of that, does that make you a bad person? Yes. Yes, it does. You selfish asshole.

Logan: Cut. No emotional manipulation.

Janus: Come on! We have an advantage over characters made for advertising, people are already invested in us!

Logan: It's unfair to the viewers, and wasting my time is unfair to me. Take it from the top.

***

Janus: (after a promising start) And as a gift to you wonderful fans, the hundredth customer will receive a special prize to celebrate their purchase. What is it? I can’t say. But the more jars you buy, the more likely it is that you will be the lucky winner of -

Logan: Cut! There’s no prize.

Janus: Logan wants to keep it a surprise, but -

Logan: No, there is not a prize. You’ll get what you pay for, no more and no less.

Janus: Unless you use the link in the description! Just enter your credit card details into our website and -

Logan: No! Janus, do not defraud our viewers! Go again and don’t make false promises.

Janus: Don’t make… have you ever seen an advert?

***

Janus: (purely for the love of the game) Think you have more important things to buy? Think again. Because this jam can cure cancer. (looks offscreen) Is that a megaphone?

Logan:

FALSEHOOD!

[The camera shakes as Janus frantically ducks. Cut to a technical difficulties screen.]

We return to Thomas's living room, where Janus and Logan are arguing furiously with Thomas looking between them, amused and/or concerned.

Logan: If you won't take this seriously -

Janus: I'm Deceit! Marketing is my life's calling and you're ruining it for me!

Logan: This is Crofter's! It deserves the utmost respect, accuracy and integrity.

Janus: And I deserve not to be humiliated on the internet for doing what I do best!

Thomas: Janus... do you like your jam?

Janus: What? Of course!

Thomas: You think it's good?

Janus: (sincerely) Yes! It's delicious. It's nutritious. It's got a picture of me on it. This is the best thing Crofter's has ever made.

Thomas: So you don't need to lie to make it sound better than it is. If you're selling gold, you can just say it's gold. If you feel the need to embellish it, that just makes me wonder what the catch is.

Janus: (blinks and smiles in pride) That... does make sense. But everyone else did something special for their commercials. Logan did a whole flipping musical.

Logan: (reverently cradling a jar of his variety) A whole lid-flipping musical.

Janus: I mean, what do you want me to say? (in a sarcastic tone) That I really appreciate getting my own jam, because it reflects both how I've been accepted into the core cast and how popular am I with the fans? That it actually means a lot to me? And I can't believe how lucky we are that a silly joke that was never meant to create a partnership has led to so much success for Thomas, and I'd be grateful if people would contribute to that?

Thomas: ...Logan, did we get all that?

Logan: Yeah, we got it.

And that's why Janus and Remus are so surprised when they see Virgil's new outfit. Virgil, closed off, emotionally reserved, completely miserable Virgil, letting the world see his emotions so openly.

You guys miss Remus??? 😁

When I first watched this, I originally thought this was just a general Patton behavior Janus was imitating. But then, I remembered there was actually only one episode “Patton” called Thomas son:

Any other episode, he just calls Thomas kiddo! Does this mean this episode might have been Janus in disguise? That would explain dialogue like:

Or the voice that sounded weirdly Roman-like in this moment (can’t upload a second video, please rewatch the video if you don’t believe me):

Virgil isn't being subtle and Janus isn't oblivious. Though Janus doesn't completely break character, his reaction of shock and hurt looks much more genuine than his over-exaggerative Patton-acting. He understood Virgil wasn't talking to Patton, and so instead of responding as Patton he thinly concealed his own response in the same way Virgil did. The implication wasn't «"it's me[, Patton]"», but rather «it's me[, Janus]»

GRGRHHR—I just— the idea that, even after Virgil was accepted, Janus believed they were still friends, and only in that moment discovered Virgil doesn't feel the same.

Both called Logan 'Nerdy Wolverine'

Both sunk down while saying 'Byeeeee' in the same tone

Remus did Roman's signature pose in the opposite direction

There was a post-it note say 'Aunt Pat naked' in the background of Remus's song. Which is a mental image Roman brought up during the Christmas episode

But it was then pointed out to me that at the end of the 12 Days of Christmas rewrite Logan sings along to the last lyric which means there's one more thing that makes Logan sing

reading this post by @time-is-restored really stirred my brain back into wtit territory, which made me realize that. uhm. didn't remus and logan essentially suggest the same thing in the context of nico?

to jog your memory — remus uses an apparition of nico to exacerbate thomas' fears of nico's perception of him. he specifically hopes thomas fulfill these desires of his, or at least give into the idea that he should be scared of nico, which explains why he got frustrated that logan essentially shut him down.

and the irony of it is that logan came to the same exact conclusion! he shut down remus for the same thought! and even funnier, is i'd argue they got there because of the same reason. mischaracterize remus all you want, but his first true showcase of upset is near the conclusion of wtit. when he says "you're going to pretend i don't exist, so i'm gonna pretend you don't exist," it subtly discloses that remus dislikes being unlistened to in a similar vein to logan's own problems.

and i mean, we knew they were mirrors. but why i mention all these is because i predict that remus' arc is going to be more intertwined with logan's than what we think.

i'm not saying this because i'm biased. actually, this realization came when i began looking into psychological research papers about anger. the first paper i read specifically looks into anger as a mediating factor between malevolent creativity and justice sensitivity. malevolent creativity in humans produce innovative, out-of-box ideas that meant to service one's interest despite being potentially taboo. this kind of thinking is most present with people who experience frequent injustices, especially systemic ones. stealing is an example of this kind of creativity, not necessarily because it makes you a bad person but rather, if you are financially struggling, you have no choice but to pursue unconventional strategies to fulfill your sense of justice.

researchers observe that justice sensitivity and malevolent creativity are deeply entwined with each other, but what mediates both, what ensures both these facets are thinking objectively, is anger.

anger is often a misrepresented emotion in today's society, both within the psychology field and within more cultural contexts like religion. most of the time, anger is said to be a precursor to vengeance. meaning, people expect anger to be the cause of harmful and violent acts. but part of the low opinion on anger actually comes from people who want to maintain status quo thinking. they would argue anger is not necessary if problems can be solved via peaceful means.

but truly, anger is found to be a true mediator between justice sensitivity and malevolent creativity and action. researchers have found that anger allows those slighted by systemic injustices to think more constructively, as it merely reflects one's objective perception of how one is treated. in fact, researchers posit that anger's main role isn't to enact vengeance more than it is a communication tool. pain doesn't cause anger, per se, but anger is needed to communicate said pain.

the injustice that anger seeks to communicate specifically is the anger that comes from being unrecognized. read this excerpt from this research about justifying anger within a psychological and moral sense:

The desire behind anger primarily entails seeking recognition and respect rather than exacting revenge. While many believe that anger is caused by pain, in reality, pain is merely a physiological sensation. Anger is directed at others’ disrespect and belittling attitudes toward oneself. For instance, if someone steps on “my” foot intentionally, it may make “me” very angry, whereas if it was unintentional, the anger would be greatly reduced or even disappear, despite the pain being identical. Therefore, anger is not triggered by feelings of pain, but rather by others’ disrespect and belittlement toward oneself or loved ones, which can also be described as a feeling of being offended.

so my point is: anger is quite important not just in the context of logan's current arc but remus'. it contextualizes why remus says logan is "speaking his language" in wtit. anger is an important driving force for both of them, with logan being more representitive of justice sensitivity (esp considering he is the one thomas turns to when wanting to rationalize his feelings abt a situation).

the problem is that anger seems to be an undiscussed topic amongst the sides. the reason why remus and logan come to such staunch conclusions about thomas and nico is not necessarily because they're wrong — they have objective fears about rejection in the midst of a very vulnerable time for thomas — but because both remus and logan are, well, isolated. malevolent creativity and justice sensitivity do not work alone, mal creativity especially. in fact, judgment is worsened without that mediating factor of anger (and emotional regulation!).

the fact that remus and logan do not work together, as well as the fact that catholic morality is generally adverse to enabling anger, makes it so that thomas develops an inability to externalize feelings of being slighted to those who offend him. it's a self-deprecating mechanism, and adds to why thomas is at such a low state in the current timeline of sasi. we don't even address his frustrations against nico in wtit!

i do think i need to sharpen my thoughts on this a lil bc im writing this in a hurry (it's xmas morning lol) but i do expect that remus and logan specifically seem to have an intertwined plotline of response towards injustices and being shutdown. i'm pretty excited to see how this manifests in future arcs

logan lays out explicitly (in both DWIT and WTIT) that thomas' intrusive thoughts feel more threatening or realistic when he feels unstable and like he has no control. if he's already spinning out of control in xyz ways, what happens if he loses even more control and acts on his definitely-real-not-fake impulses? etc.

that 'real' factor is very literally embodied by the duke showing up and manifesting each thought into video form (the closest to 'real' the sides can get).

WTIT is one of my favourite episodes bc of how well it exemplifies this. thomas' is at a SUPER low point w/ his mental health, and his living conditions have gone to hell. that's a deeply unpleasant way to live, and yet he doesn't have enough control over himself to fix it, so he's just sitting in misery. accordingly, the vast majority of remus' outbursts are about dangers related to the state of his house. sharp objects hidden amongst clutter, dishes becoming projectiles, his food being contaminated, an intruder getting in through an unlocked door, someone hiding in his cluttered closet. if the only avenue of insecurity he had was nico, the episode would have been much shorter (and would have involved 99% less rube-goldberg machines lmao).

as much of trying to wring meaning out of every one of remus' suggestions IS a terrible terrible idea, you can still find patterns in what angles of attack he chooses + when. remus has a remarkable knack for finding weaknesses!! someone doesn't want to think about things that upset them -> they repress those things -> remus ends up with a handily organised list of things he can throw in their faces to get a reaction. the circle of life <3

in the latest episode, everyone's reaction to remus bringing up sex (including janus!? friendly fire!!!) in a video about sexuality is like a big bold underline that the issue here is shame + struggling with self-acceptance. WTIT (in a much subtler, less talking-straight-to-camera way lmao) shows us logan's own sources of repression + shame -- helpfully for remus, he's been trying to deny he has any feelings at all recently lmao, so there's gotta be a lot to work with there.

i just think it's neat. remus' favoured sources of enrichment are a literal barometer for how well<-->poorly c!thomas is doing at any given moment!

(side note abt logan: i think more weight in theorycrafting could be given to what was happening just before the 'stop ignoring me!' outburst. logan's efforts at being communicative + understanding + ceding ground to remus tactics' as possibly being useful -- hard-won communicative + collaborative skills logan has been working really hard at developing! -- gets shit on and reduced to 'you're ignoring me :///'. a bad faith reduction of how hard logan is trying, completely ignoring how his solution would blatantly and objectively help thomas, because it didn't cater enough to remus. like... that's veeeery clearly a strawman MEANT to trigger logan's latent feelings of resentment directed at the other sides (+ thomas!). 'why does my effort come to nothing when they get twice as much reward for trying half as hard, why is how they feel more important than Actual Literal Reality™, why am i the problem if i put my foot down about any of this'.