Hello

no i don't want you to redirect me to your app i want to look at recipe

i am not going to a secondary location with you one of us dies here

He’s less than 20 minutes away from breaking the record of the longest speech given on the senate floor

Cory Booker has officially broken Strom Thurmond’s record for longest speech on the senate floor and he’s still going

For those of you wondering what he’s been talking about this whole time, his staff wrote down a bunch of stuff for him to read like stories from people across the political spectrum opposed to what the administration is doing. He’s also been telling personal anecdotes about meeting important civil rights leaders and other democratic senators have been pausing him for “questions” but the questions have been as long as a small speech and have both served the purpose of giving him a second to sit down and updating him on the news that he’s been missing while he’s been talking.

He has yielded the floor at 25 hrs and 4 mins. His eyes are so wide they look like they’re going to bug out of his skull so I don’t blame him for stopping. He said to go out and get in some good trouble.

Some people play video games to get the evil out of their systems. Sometimes that evil is directly violent in nature, sometimes it’s white collar crime.

it should be a law that if it’s raining and you wake up feeling comfy in bed you shouldn’t have to answer to any of your obligations

This ~

I love how here on tumblr dot website we regularly cast the greatest curse we can muster on each other by pointing our long creepy fingers and intoning "10,000 notes" in a voice that carries the winds of the mountain with it.

I might have made an error here

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

Seeing how it was a tesla showroom it might not even be the French, it night have just the shitty cars combusting

the philly natives are showing up to shit and piss all over this anonymous facebook user and it has such beautiful philadelphia energy. i can hear the diphthongs. i love people from philadelphia. i didn't even know that's where this was taken, but i really couldn't be happier that it wound up being the subject of this post. few other outcomes would result in what i can only hope will be weeks of indignant philadelphians letting loose on yuppie assholes in the tags.

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

I hate when people ask me about my preference but I don’t understand their preference level. Like yes I kinda want Chinese food 10% more than I want a sandwich but if you want a sandwich like 40% more than Chinese food then I would say it’s totally reasonable we get sandwiches.

Perry spends this episode fixing the wall he put a hole through on the way in