If you know me, you know I avoid and put off phone conversations as much as possible even when it's literally necessary for me to make call, however for certain individuals I find I just go ahead talk on phone with them over text which is shocking, trust me even I am aware of how unusual this behavior is for me. ~
One example would be my father, not that we talk much expect occasionally like this is what's going on for the holidays should we expect you to attend, so you know very brief and polite inquiry conversation, am I crazy because sometimes I long to hear his voice? Like I'm his biological child but at the same time I'm independent adult that requires nothing from him to survive. ~
I can't curl up on his lap, be held by him, or kissed tenderly on the cheek as if I were a child, and he wouldn't have done such indulgence even if I somehow time traveled backwards, I guess I'll just blame this on hormone imbalance since that's time of the month for me. ~
Ways I realize I am about to start period.... ~
1. Gravitating towards coloring books and cute stuff ~
2. More emotional ~
3. Desperatly intensely desires affectionate care in form of cuddles, kisses, hair petted and to cling someone hugging them so tightly they get an idea of how it'll feel when death seizes them in its cold clucthes. ~
And yet despite all of these things it'll still catch me off guard like me thinking oh I'm just horny today like I've been for the past several days and I'm wet, when no..... surprise, that's blood and you just ruined your cute outfit again ~
Did I mention I still have three can't be put off any longer phone calls that I have to make and yet I'm wondering if I can pull off some sort of ferris b design so that I don't have to dial number or speak to customer service ai prompts with hope of eventually human individual to which I will no doubt stumble over conversation awkwardly ~
Sometimes I feel like walking disaster, just one step away from tripping into black hole ~
