get eaten

doing insane shibari on my fairy wife with shit I bought at the craft store and telling everyone she's a keychain

saw a girl wearing a shirt that said CAN'T BREATHALYZE METH! and it kind of startled me out of my breakdown for a second

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

jeff goldblum is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s jewish. nathan lane is the type of guy who gets mistaken for jewish because he’s gay. stanley tucci is the type of guy who gets mistaken for gay because he’s a mild-mannered italian, which is jewish. seth meyers gets mistaken for jewish because of everything about him. zachary levi gets mistaken for jewish because everyone wants him dead. tom cruise gets mistaken for gay because he is.