Tumblrβs one true talent is making me sick of things Iβve never seen or read or heard.
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@lesbagel
Tumblrβs one true talent is making me sick of things Iβve never seen or read or heard.

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unclean = adj. of or pertaining to uncles
functionally suicidal character saying βI would die for youβ to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me heβd sell hot dogs for me, I wouldnβt feel very moved now would I
Now a functionally suicidal character saying βI will live for youβ. Now thatβs a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.
now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"
Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...
It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

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i have acid reflux too, so we are together in this mr twistedhellknight52
Only I have it.
They found the last golden ticket . So thatβs just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said heβs sorry but I know he doesnβt really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck itβs all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life itβs all fucked itβs all fucked . And my last name is bucket
ever since i was a child ive had a headache
24 karat gold labubu divorces Dubai chocolate I don't fucking care girl
if you spoke to lestat or louis about your pain, they would say, "your pain? what about MY pain?" but if you spoke about your pain to armand he would say "let me lobotomize you and you will never feel pain again." he has a solution-based mindset and we could all learn from him.

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I want to know who on the writing team had a premonition that drake would drop 50 songs
this is frying me
will be thinking about this probably for the rest of the week
my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue
Customer: FOR UNCLE CHARALES DMV: FUCKED Verdict: DENIED

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someone on reddit shared texts of her and her husband's exclusive english dialect and it's beautiful
a linguist is analyzing it
I wish I could give the miis internalized homophobja
no but like i want them to actually feel it
you dont like her?