only a jackass can change the world

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

New shoes

unhelpful aubergines

We have so little time

let's waste as much of it as we can while we still can

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

wait babe before we move on i need to break every barrel in this room to check for hidden items

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

the thing about 10 pm is that 10 pm is basically midnight if you're not careful