This is going to be very long and sound a little crazy at first, and maybe a little mean but please hear me outâŚ
Iâm convinced that Taylor sometimes purposefully includes one line or multiple lines of poorly written or clunky lyrics in specific songs to make a point.
We all have seen some version of this with bearding songs like London Boy, a simple bop whose lyrics were immediately detected as sounding disingenuous, even with the general population (the locations she was signing about were the most touristy and too far away from each other to visit on the same day, etc, basically implying that she doesnât actually have a long term local bf there that she spends a bunch of time with exploring the city with, etc).
But just like everything else on the album, I think sheâs doing maybe a more in your face version of that. No holds barred.
So High School is an obvious example of this, with all of the early 2000âs hs imagery, she seems pretty blatantly to be mocking the idea the public has of her âliving out every American girlâs high school fantasyâ of dating the tall popular football player. With lyrics like âtouch me while your friends play grand theft autoâ (barf), etc, shes being clear enough that this is not a serious song.
This is the possibly controversial part, but Iâm so curious to see what others think about this - I think another iteration of this on this album is the title track, The Tortured Poets Department. Hear me out.
(First, I want to reassure you that there are lines in this song that I really like and think are well written, like: âyouâre in self-sabotage mode/throwing spikes down on the roadâ and âbut you awaken with dread/pounding nails in your head/but Iâve read this one/where you come undone/I chose this cyclone with youâ. And I fully agree with the idea that these sentiments are from Karlieâs perspective. Basically, when you take out the chunks Iâm about to talk about this song makes way more sense and has a beautiful sentiment of undying love behind it - which makes the following parts stick out that much more!)
The first time I listened through the album, and this was the second song, I got terrified because I didnât understand its place in the whole narrative and when I heard the first clunky line âscratch your head like a tattooed golden retrieverâ I got the ick. Then the bridge with no structure and no wit and no clever turns of phrase, no metaphor, just âyou put my ring on the finger people put wedding rings onâ and âthat was the closest Iâve ever been to my heart explodingâ. So over simplified and cheesy, and doesnât sound anything like her writing, especially the caliber of her recent lyrics
I know art is largely subjective, but I insist there is no way that the same person who wrote Cowboy Like Me wrote these lines into her title track if she didnât have a reason and a point to make. To make it clear that this isnât a matter of genre personal taste, because I know CLM is a very specific sound and a style that music snobs often take more seriously - I love SO many of her candy pop bangers, they are infinitely more clever, articulate, and overall works of art by a true wordsmith than this. Karma, The Very First Night, etc are all a master classes in clever words and tight writing being tucked into an âunseriousâ pop song.
The lyrics I cited above to me sound like what haters believe her writing sounds like, even fans who make little jokey TikTokâs about her and make up a spoofy something to sing while in character - thatâs what these lyrics sound like.
Im worried im being too harsh, but please stay with me because the more I think about the more genius I think it actually is.
In the context of the themes of rest of the album, (her being trapped, miserable, manipulated, ready to burn it all down, screaming to be seen) this theory became clear to me. I think sheâs leaning into her public persona (in more ways than one, weâve already seen it with the stunting), in a way setting a âtrapâ for her fans and the public, that will essentially call them all out on how they ignored the real her in favor of her pr narrative, making the album about paternity tests, etc, all of which Iâm guessing will become very clear in retrospect, possibly after she comes out? (Of course itâs already clear to us now, which is another purpose of the beard songs including clunky writing - to signal to us that these are not serious and that she knows that we know that she knows (like Phoebe on friends lol))
Ultimately, this is (along with So Highschool) a classic beard song. When she writes in this voice, she embodies the most extreme versions of her public persona, not just the one she has cultivated on purpose, but also the one that people have of her that donât know her (as she did in Blank Space), including those that donât take her seriously - because her identity as a boy crazy psycho ex girlfriend is directly tied to people dismissing her art as vapid because, theyâve only ever heard her singles, they donât know the full her.
That voice is the straightest, the most boy crazy, the most one note, and sometimes the most unsophisticated writer version of her that people have in their minds, including her fans - the fans that refuse to see her as a whole person, the real, that believe she is head over heals for big football boy, that believe âhe knows how to ball, I know Aristotleâ is a romantic line about how opposites attract, the fans that say they donât âgetâ some of her most beautiful and well-written songs, the fans that donât see her and havenât been seeing her.
They didnât see giant Taylor on the eras tour, they refuse to see all of her queer signaling, etc, and I think sheâs making the bearding songs obvious to underscore the difference between her Taylor(TM) and Taylor(person) personas.
She knows that despite the fact that the lyrics donât even come close to measuring up to the rest of the album, the public, and many of her fans, will make this song one of the most listened to simply because they are looking for evidence of her relationships from the past year. Weâve all commented on how insane it is that this layered, complex, devastating album is being reduced to the usual paternity tests. This is currently one of the top songs precisely because it is âabout Mattyâ. And of course, So High School is one of the tops songs along with it because itâs âabout Travisâ.
The juxtaposition of the bearding songs alongside her beautifully written poetry of Prophecy, Peter, Whose Afraid of Little Old Me, Cassandra, How did it end, The Albatross, etc mirrors the juxtaposition of her two selves during the Midnights era.
She has proven the point that if they think she wrote every line of this song completely in earnest, then they see her largely no differently than her haters do, as a subpar writer who writes absurdly cheesy love songs praising trashy to mediocre, problematic men. By eating it up they tell her thatâs what sheâs good for, for being the subject of tabloids and warring fans who make this entire album about two (purposefully) mediocre songs and the men who âinspiredâ them.
She has proven her point - that a subset of her fans will be distracted by a lesser song simply because they think itâs about one of the greasy men thatâs she been seen holding hands with. That they will ignore once again all of her pleas to be seen, that sheâs in pain and caged, and has been driven insane by their willful ignorance. That they donât appreciate her full potential and talent, that they donât even see it, and just want to be confirmed in their ideation of her.
This song is essentially the âforget him(her)â pill at the beginning of the fortnight mv, but itâs a sedative for the fans, who are addicted to her straight narrative. Similar to Willowâs 13 chants of âthatâs my manâ that started off evermore, casting a spell of heteronormativity over everyone who wanted it, so that they could choose to just completely ignore the following 14 gayest songs ever written. Donât pay no mind to her singing directly about women with zero male perspective - she said âthatâs my man!â Weâre good! Sheâs still straight!
Taylor in the fortnight mv had to a take a sedative to be able to go into the next room and write her bearding songs - ie she self medicates to deal with keeping up the straight persona and to get through having to release dumbed down songs to feed the masses. (I also see the pill as something forced on her, I think it represents both layers)
From the first time I watched the music video I thought the writing Taylor looked so miserable and the bearding songs are why.
In this room sheâs trapped, churning out the songs that her fans expect of her, the songs that make her team money, the songs that make her money, but that she has to compromise her truth to create.
But when she frees herself sheâll burn the stories that werenât true, the filler that doesnât represent her.
Iâm curious to hear otherâs thoughts on this - have you ever felt like Taylor purposefully inserts off-sounding lyrics that are written in a different voice to make a point?
I want to reiterate that itâs not the entirety of either song that I think is terrible, I genuinely love bopping along to both So High School and TTPD (track). Like I said above, when you remove the clunky lines from ttpd (track), the song has another layer and likely gives voice to some Karlie insight that is beautiful and tragically profound. Itâs the red herrings, the pieces specifically meant to tie this song to a bearding narrative, that Iâm dissing, and the only reason they are suspicious in the first place is because I know how gifted Taylor is with the written word.
Taylor is such a skilled writer that she can embody the voice of the bad writer that dismissive ignorant idiots believe her to be, just to make a point!
I even wonder if maybe there is a second version of this song locked away in one of those drawers in the fortnight writing room that leaves out the red herrings and is a thousand times better than the bearding version we got.
I hope one day we get to hear it.
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