you construct intricate rituals which allow you to the touch the skin of your huge sexy athletic costar || CLOSER - Tegan and Sara

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@leftshurightshoe
you construct intricate rituals which allow you to the touch the skin of your huge sexy athletic costar || CLOSER - Tegan and Sara

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something so many people in this fandom seem to forget is that depression isn't cured by love. ilya will go through his life with a supportive team, an adoring husband, wonderful friends and in-laws, and he's still going to have days where he doesn't want to get up. he's still going to be angry at himself for not being better despite everything. he's still going to flinch when he sees pill bottles and knives and wonder if he laughs like his mother. through therapy and being honest and maybe medication, those days are going to be less frequent until maybe they barely happen at all. but they're still going to happen, because ilya is still depressed, and you can't love the depression out of someone
My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.
I think everyone should be doing this btw. Maybe, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," could be our, "Always."
I tried to quote this post to my housemate the other day but botched it so said "nice cock, kill yourself" and now it's turned into a call and response so instead of saying goodbye one of us says nice cock and the other tells you to kill yourself
okay wait hang on we make all these posts about The Vampire Marleau and yes they’re my favorite but has anyone actually like. looked into his actor. bc i did. his name is Franco Lo Presti and he really does just look Like That. like i clocked him as hot as fuck my very first watch but goddamn they did not do him justice that is #mymarleau and i can 100% see him playing an ancient hockey playing vampire fr like LOOK AT HIM
IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME!!!!!!!!!
flp had me searching up hallmark movies like a deranged psycho on less than legal websites just to catch a glimpse of him.. anyways will do that again next week same time!!
after Cliff’s first (he certainly hopes not his last) time with Shane and Ilya he’s not like. totally willing to start self-identifying as anything other than straight. he still loves fucking women but fuck, he’s certainly never going to turn down the opportunity to join those two in bed again, if they ask.
what he does take away from the experience is an appreciation for certain types of people. he finds his attention lingering on blonde curls and freckles and brown eyes and soft looking skin with smatterings of moles. men, women, whoever really- he begins to notice the patterns.
it’s at some league event where Cliff meets this absolute fox of a woman. yeah, okay- she reminds him of Shane which really does it for him- but she’s fucking sharp and seems to know eeeverything about hockey- which, also hot- and Cliff becomes a little obsessed with her immediately. he’s always been into older women so that’s another draw. and he keeps running into her at hockey stuff, like, way too regularly to be a coincidence so he starts thinking, yeah ya know what? I’m Cliff fucking Marleau I can ask out this sexy older woman, I fucking pull, dude I can do anything-
anyway that’s the story how how Cliff got rejected by Shane’s mom.

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Franco Lo Presti for HUF Magazine
how fast would I be kicked out of college dorm if I had this in A3 on my walls
HEATED RIVALRY — DAY 1
Recalling the first day of filming, Tierney says that after seeing the pair excel in the emotional wringer, his own “nerves were out the window, I knew I could throw anything at those guys.”
professional rage baiter ilya rozanov
i know this was like a month ago but jacob on the shift saying what makes connor so perfect for the role is that he was so good at playing “what i wanted out of ilya, which was a slyness. that ilya’s always trying not to laugh, especially at shane. that he doesn’t want shane to realise how much he likes him, and how charmed, how endlessly charmed he is by making shane uncomfortable. it actually lights him up inside, he really loves it.”
literally the mandate of heaven that jacob tierney has 😭😭😭 it lights him up inside i-
something something ilya likes to cause a hurt then soothe it.
these images are the same to me. he likes to push too hard to bruise to needle to sink his teeth in to know he’s making an impact. and then follow it up with a good fucking or to say in so many words i love you. to know he is loved enough for his impact to be felt. it lights him up inside. and god you just KNOW shane bruises up so pretty, and he looks so pretty when he cries 😮💨
and by popular demand. of course shane has built up so many layers of protection in his unimpeachable skill his work ethic his diet his routine he is going through the motions like a little roomba living in a state of desperately hoping no one looks at him long enough to see anything real. he’s constantly at a remove from the world his walls are up so high. and here comes ilya who does look too long who wants to touch and push and prod and provoke, who gets a reaction out of shane every time. those carefully built up walls and he crashes through them so easily. for shane i think it has to hurt a bit to feel real 😵💫
Ilya is like the curious-est little boy at the boy aquarium tapping the glass right next to the sign (made by Shane Himself) that says “Do Not Tap Glass!” Except the aloof and slightly neurotic and perpetually stressed boy inside comes out to see what the ruckus is, and he can’t get too mad because it’s a very nice boy out there banging on his window, asking if they can play.
Shane has never been so annoyed and intrigued at the same time.
He’s been annoyed at (obnoxious) people before. He’s been interested (obsessed) in things (hockey) before.
People have tried to persistently pry their way into the new hockey phenomenon’s life before, and it wasn’t fun.
He’s never wanted to let someone in or crawl out of his shell the way this persistent boy has made him want to do.
It’s treading ground in that every other instance he’s tried has not ended in much success.
But he’s curious now.
And the boy keeps tapping the glass and grinning like he cannot help it and saying, “Hey! Do you wanna’ come play with me?” And the giddy little desperate undertone is “I really wanna’ play with you because you look like you would play like me and it would be so much fun, and I’m so lonely. Please come play with me? I will make it fun. Promise.”
the productivity creatures

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i don't know how people manage to write 10k word chapters... anything over 4k and I'm genuinely struggling to proofread my work
it doesnt help that i write scenes out of order as they come to me and then have to go back and make sure I didn't accidentally skip something 😭
did you get a PhD for that at least
I get no notes because as soon as someone finishes reading my post they are compelled to put down their phone and experience the wonders of the world around them with fresh eyes
Because of how bad the post is
bood: troy do you want another beer troy: ehhh ive already had two and im designated shanehandler ilya: (wasted, at the top of his lungs across the entire yard, feeling shane up while he grills) I AM EXCLUSIVE HANDLER OF SHANE
#Shane: I bet I could climb on bood’s roof with just his siding#Ilya: baby. As the Shanehandler. You can do whatever you want.#Cut to Troy peeling Shane off the side of Bood’s house like he’s a squirrel
ilya recording it on his phone and narrating loudly as if he is watching the cops doing an illegal arrest with excessive force
ilya: THIS MAN DID NOTHING... BUT NOT THE FIRST TO SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF ENFORCER BARRETT. THIS POOR BEAUTIFUL CREATURE IS TESTING PHYSICAL LIMITS, REACHING NEW PERSPECTIVES, YES? HARMING NO ONE. UNARMED- *accidentally drops phone and takes so long to pick it up shane is already walking past trying to act sober like he never did anything at all* shane: (directly into the camera, much too close) babyyyyyyy i made burgers
Cliff Marleau, from his lone couch in Boston, sees the video and immediately asks for a trade to Ottawa.
Shane phonecalls Hayden to be his lawyer during one of these epidsodes and drives over at top speed from Montreal thinking Shane was actually in trouble. He then walks in on nonsensical Shane and drunk singing Ilya and Cliff while Troy contemplates his life decisions in the corner.
im in a very unbothered and bland part of my life where not even fanfiction interests me and i just stare at things. i even stopped dreaming :( no more real time movie directing i guess.. must somehow push through and write the fics i promised to write
ilya promising children cash if they win knowing he's gonna let them win and then asking shane for money because he doesn't have his wallet. he wasn't even an annoying husband yet but he was letting shane know his potential

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Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)
It's Open With Ilana Glazer
I loved this interview, yayyy a gifset!!
I think this is something lost on the audience in the show that is explicitly implicit in the books.
Shane thinks Ilya is a sex god bc
1) he is "better at sex" than shane
2) shane up to this point hasn't had a successful and Very Good sexual experience. He literally says once Ilya dick is inside him that he "finally understands why people are sex- obsessed." It has clicked, and his brain says its because of ilya, not bc he is gay
3) ilya is a whore so that translates in shanes brain to very experienced, good at it, therefore sex god
They tease back and forth that ilya has ruined sex for shane bc no one else will do, and while shane is embarrassed by this, he agrees.
In TLG it comes out that ilya has maybe been with like 5-10 guys at most. Personally i think its the lower end of that. He specifically says that men are a "rare treat," implying that 1) its safer to pull women (he really is terrified of being outed and shipped back to russia), and 2) he only pulls men when he is missing shane so much he cant stand it.
Shane has canonically been with 3 men. Two pulls he didnt care for, and ilya. Again, in his mind, ilya is the key, but its not inherently bc of ilya's skill, its because of their crazy deep connection.
I LOVE that Jacob said this, because its not so explicit in the show. You get little tells (ilya's "wow" at Shane's desperation and automatic submission; his quick orgasms in ep1 - he is just as overwhelmed and turned on as shane is; his face the first time he fucks shane, especially when he goes in from behind) but in the end, ilya is so desperate to please shane and make it perfect that he just makes it happen out of sheer willpower. But the second he realizes shane is coming untouched under his he makes way too much noise, bites his lips to squash it (embarrased, wants to be more in control than that), and immediately comes. Its not inherent skill, its attention and the overwhelming desire to please, mixed with a little control freak energy and genuine exhilaration at Shane's automatic submission.
Draco was not pleased at being woken and had to unleash his wrath