emetic, not aphrodisiac.

i know this is not canon compliant because kip grady is the only art student on the planet who would turn down a free 50k but to me TO MEEEEEE he becomes one of those gay nyc influencers where he posts carousels that’s [picture of an abandoned bouquet of flowers in the trash] [negroni] [artfully sweaty gym selfie in #sponsored gear] [blurry photos of hot friends in a park doing a peace sign] [piece of art in a gallery in moody lighting] [scott hunter from behind walking down the street wearing a yankees cap] [flat lay of a joan didion book and an iced matcha] and the caption is juuuuuune u were so good to me 🌱

imagine you wake up and throw your hair in a messy but perfect bun on top of your head you walk downstairs and your mom is waiting for you “pack your stuff!” she yells “why?” you ask then suddenly two people walk into the room it is nhl players shane hollander and ilya rozanov “we take you” ilya says like a russian cave man “you’re ours now” shane says. you’ve been sold to hollanov.

imagine you wake up and throw your hair in a messy but perfect bun on top of your head you walk downstairs and your mom is waiting for you “pack your stuff!” she yells “why?” you ask then suddenly two people walk into the room it is nhl players shane hollander and ilya rozanov “we take you” ilya says like a russian cave man “you’re ours now” shane says. you’ve been sold to hollanov.

thinking about shane who in his late 30’s discovers that he might be autistic and kind of freaks out about it because he’s already the gay hockey player and the asian hockey player he doesn’t also want to be the autistic hockey player with all the negative stereotypes it comes with but he finally confides in ilya one day and says i think i might have autism and ilya gives him a soft look and says yes i think maybe you do and at first shane gets a little angry at ilya because why does it seem like you knew? how did you know? why didn’t you tell me? and ilya says because i think you deserve to figure out how you feel without me plantning ideas in your head and no matter what you would still be my shane, trying to be all sweet about it and shane gives him a careful look and asks is that why you haven’t turned on the overheard light in 2 years and ilya sighs and nods

ilya would be so happy to be a trophy wife like shane has an important business conference thing he has to attend with important business people and ilya would put on his sluttiest little suit that matches shane’s and he leaves the first three buttons on his shirt undone and he links his arm with shane’s and when shane is talking serious business™️ with some guy ilya goes and finds him another one of those sparkly little drinks and sometimes people want to talk serious business with ilya and while he could do that he just says you should go ask my husband he’s over there while he devours the rest of the sliders at the buffet

ilya gets home from taking anya to the groomer and is clearly in a bad mood and shane is like "what's wrong baby?" and ilya is like "nothing i'm fine" and shane is like "was the mcflurry machine broken again" and ilya is like "yes the fucking mcflurry machine was broken again"

India is also suffering tremendous, record-breaking, fatal heat waves that are going conspicuously unreported by a lot of mainstream global events coverage.

fuck men i’m going to spend the rest of my life reading x reader fics

thinking about vegas bathroom ilya finding out he can literally do Whatever he wants to shane . he can ghost him and be rude and mean and cold and even if shane Acts like its too far for him . He will always play ilyas game by ilyas rules . He will always try to be as good as he can . even when ilya is playing dirty... Like id freak too thats crazy

What are you reading rn, why are you reading it, and what format are you reading it in (physical book, ereader, on your phone etc)