don't show up

Hey, PSA: Those of us who work at Dark Side of the Moon would much rather spend our time there dicking around and doing our homework than cleaning hair out of the shower drains because you absolute monsters shed irresponsibly. If you can’t shower publicly without putting yourself at risk to getting your DNA stolen then go straight home after your workout, please. 

You should commit a crime and plant their hair on the scene to get your revenge. If you need help, I’m your girl. 

Firstable! Consent makes everything. Secondly, why was I not told about this game of Human Bowling?! I’m small! I’d’ve been the best ball! 

False! That’s why you would have been the worst ball, small fry. There’s nothing impressive about throwing someone so tiny! But we should go and find somewhere else to cause chaos next, since we’re not wanted back in the bowling alley. Either that... or find a way to cause chaos after hours anyway. How do you think Yen SId feels about breaking and entering? 

Uh, hello? Consent or not, you’re not banging up my parents’ equipment by simply being a fucking weirdo. Working at a bowling alley at all was shitty enough, now it’s inside a mall? Where people see you regardless of whether they chose to bowl that day or not? I’m done giving a fuck – the bigger the blacklist, the better. 

How is a person’s flabby belly any more aggressive than throwing a solid ball at the wood? Honestly, the fact that the alley isn’t all dented up kind of defies gravity. Or maybe I just don’t understand science enough to get how it works, the rules haven’t really applied to my life pre-Walt. If you hate it that much then get a different job? Or is no one going to hire you without being related to you?  

Was it a little person? Cause I think that might make a difference. I don’t think anyone would get me in trouble for throwing Ron down the alley, for example; she’s, like, minuscule.

Wow, how boring is that? The person I was throwing was bigger than I am, obviously. Where’s the challenge in throwing someone tinier than you? It doesn’t make you look impressive, it makes you look lame!

I’m all for bright colors, levels full of sickeningly adorable things like clouds and sunflowers, and an endless supply of lives. It would be even better if you didn’t have levels to beat at all, and definitely no races to win! I think I should just wander around aimlessly planting flowers and saying hello to my neighbors, and maybe if I complete enough mundane tasks I’ll get to eat like a fake cake or something as a reward! 

I would obviously want to be one of the hacky sack people in Little Big Planet. Side scrolling repetitive levels are my jam, and I love when violence doesn’t matter at all because all you’re slicing up is a stupid bag of beans! Such high stakes, am I right? 

@nononoli: you were invited, you know!!! Maybe you didn't get my invite all the way in cyberland but I totally invited you. You would've had a blast!

@nononoli: I know there's a lot of speculation about what went down at my party over the summer, and I'm just gonna pop in to give a pretty general statement -- not too many details to protect the reputations of the innocent and such.

@nononoli: Here are a list of people who are never, ever invited back to my family home lest they FUCK in my closet again: Kori Gothel and Layland Olympus. That's all anyone needs to know, goodbye.

Golly gee! It’s kind of terrible that I barely get to Walt and then have to go back home! But I’m thrilled to be here in the new and improved Walt. I can’t wait to tell Papa about all of my cool experiences as a real person!

Well gee willickers... Nope, that’s as far as I got, I can’t speak Penny, I tried. Being a real person’s not all it’s cracked up to be, though. Like I’m pretty sure if I tried to go racing through the streets of Walt and, you know, taking shortcuts through windows of glass skyscrapers and things, I’d get in trouble instead of getting away. Sumer back in our games spoiled me, now that we’re here again someone’s going to have to spice things up before I get bored. 

Wonder: How can I keep THAT secret! I don't think there's any way they can survive in the fountain! There's too many, no air and the betta will MURDER THEM!

Wonder: Why would you do that?!!!!? And why would you tell the mermaid???

text meme | send one for a…

Leah: Yo can you keep a secret?

Leah: Too late, this is your test, you have to keep the secret now because I'm telling you anyway.

text meme | send one for a...