the devil's in the details.

You should commit a crime and plant their hair on the scene to get your revenge. If you need help, I’m your girl. 

Ooh, damn, finally a good idea! What kind of crime are we thinking, petty theft? Vandalism? Murder? 

People shed, dude. Honestly, that’s on you for taking that job in the first place. There’s way cleaner jobs out there if that’s your bag. Not sure why though, getting messy isn’t that bad.

I chose the gym for the free workouts and I don’t hate getting messy, I hate when people aren’t responsible for their disgusting, sheddy bodies. If you’re so into other people’s sweaty hair clumps, come be our custodian, Bex! I’d be honored to put in a good word with Shang. 

What do you do with all the hair when you take it out of the drains? It would be kind of gnarly and cool if you did like a “clump of shame” where you just pile all the hairs up somewhere until it’s this gross big moldy monster that discourages people from leaving a mess in there, otherwise they’ll just add to the creature!

If I could stomach a ‘clump of shame’, I’d do it. But I think I’ll just start paying some science nerd to clone them and then send their clones to stab them with scissors Jordan Peele style. Not to change the subject, but you’re on the dance team, right? I think I’m gonna try out. Very dumb to join a team just to be there for a year if I get in, but volleyball season isn’t for a while, so I could use the time-filler.