So Apparently I'm Thor Now?

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

FOLLOW GARAGE ME! SALE!!

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

This woman by the way sent these pics to my grandpa along with a note that said “happy 90th birthday. By the by, my husband’s dead if you’re interested.” We asked grandpa about her and he was quiet, then said, “to be honest. She had a. Substantial rear end.”

the most important virtues for the young woman are as follows: time theft, selfishness, orgasms, irreverence to authority, sacrilegious behavior, a questioning mind, and eating regular meals.

I'm gonna lose it

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

my sister’s bf referred to eating cheese as “mousing out” and i’m so utterly charmed by that. can we all agree to adopt that into language.

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

Your monkeys ?

those aren’t mine.