Lavantant

The way they’re both out of touch but in different ways. 😂

i feel the need to say that they’re both right, most mail is paid for by the sender, but sometimes mailpeople will be given a package with a COD request, meaning that we expect Cash On Delivery. the mailperson is then expected to spend 5 mins at the location waiting for the person to gather cash, which is an incredible amount of time, and then if the recipient still doesnt have the cash we just pink slip it and go back to the route.

Concept: fratsonas. Create a self-insert that’s a douchey frat bro. Mine’s name is Josh

Everyone keeps tagging this saying they’re Chad but listen guys. We can’t all be a Chad. If you really want your fratsona to be a Chad you have to earn it

Of all potential Crop Circle explanations, I don’t thing *anyone* saw “stoned wallabies” as a candidate, let alone the likely suspect.

Let’s just take a minute.

If I was ever slated to meet Donald Trump, I’d stuff my pockets with those little hand sanitizer bottles. Every time he’d shake my hand, I’d immediately take one out and squirt the whole bottle. Make a whole spectacle of it, sanitizing my entire right arm. But only after shaking his hand; I’d also be sure to shake the hands of as many other people as possible, but never even think about hand sanitizer until SCROTUS is reaching towards me. Hell, maybe as we’re going in for the shake I’d already have my left hand in my pocket, very dramatically digging for a hand sanitizer so I could be cleaned the moment our hands part. Can you imagine the fucking headlines? The drama? I’d be the target of Turnip’s angry tweets for months. His lapdogs nazis voters would be outraged, screaming obsenities for DARING to attempt voodoo on their god bc they don’t understand cleanliness or germ theory. It would be awesome. I’d be an international hero for washing my hands.

I woke up from a dream last night, posted this, then immediately fell back asleep. I’m glad to see it was coherent and well-received. :)

why do all fictional capitalists look like that

I call bull shit on this

Bullshit here, how may I direct your call?

the fact op is a sneeze fetish blog just makes this infinitely funnier

#GOD#HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MOVE TO ANOTHER WEBSITE#WHERE ELSE AM I GONNA GET GUT PUNCHED BY SENTENCES LIKE THAT ONE

@leatherjacketprincess

@vappy

can’t believe I had to read this with my own balls