Call Me Captain.

*villain du jour flirts with Spiderman* woah! I know I swing both ways, but your way isn’t one of em

***

Intellectual™ white supremacist: and when I’m done the entire world will be one homogeneous society-

Spidey: buddy the only homo-genius here is me step off

***

Villain: *gestures to the eyesore that is the Spiderman suit* what kind of fashion is this

Spidey, a gay, knowing that all his villains commit crime in their fursuits: fucking respectable is what it is

***

Villain, talking about the plague that is vigilantes: your way of life disgusts me

0° Celsius gets you ice. 100° Celsius gets you tea.

And if you absolutely MUST have one:

Keep it small

Keep it contained

A Black Michigan teen with ADHD who was imprisoned for not doing her homework during the lockdown has been ordered released to her mother, after months of incarceration.

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/oakland-county/2020/07/31/oakland-co-girl-jailed-not-doing-homework-ordered-release/5557997002/

Grace was on parole for briefly stealing a classmate’s phone. Mary Ellen Brennan (a judge facing reelection this year) decided missing homework constituted a serious enough parole violation that it warranted a long term custodial sentence.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/15/3-frauds-in-a-trenchcoat/#judge-mary-ellen-brennan

Grace was imprisoned after an in-person hearing that her defense counsel deemed too dangerous to attend in person. Brennan held the hearing anyway, then, after public outcry, held a second hearing at which she affirmed her decision to imprison Grace.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/21/the-thief-of-joy/#grace

Brennan’s rationale for Grace’s imprisonment was that the juvenile facility would help her get the education she was missing at home and also help resolve her friction with her mother.

Brennan maintained this despite testimony from Grace’s teachers and school board officials, and despite the factual record: Grace’s prison education consisted of filling in photocopied worksheets; her counseling amounted to a few minutes per week of videoconferencing.

Many Michigan members of Congress and other elected officials urged Brennan to reconsider, as did the local prosecutor. Hundreds of local students marched in support of Grace.

Today, the appeals court ordered Grace released into her mother’s custody “pending appeal or further order of this court.” She will be confined to home and tethered to a GPS cuff.

https://www.propublica.org/article/grace-black-teen-jailed-for-not-doing-her-online-coursework-is-released

Brennan is up for re-election in a few months. She ran unopposed in her last election.