leem

Then all three Hollanders would talk around it without actually talking about it for the rest of the weekend.

"Rozanov actually seems pretty nice in person."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Maybe we could invite him to grab dinner with us."

"No."

"You really hate him that much?"

"No, I just - like, we're not friends or whatever."

"Okay, where should we get dinner then?"

"I can't. I have plans tonight."

"Alright then, you boys have fun."

"What?"

out dinner with my father

is impossible

towards the end of their wedding reception, sun setting, looking rumpled and tired, Ilya kissing Shane's palm while Shane is very seriously talking to Scott Hunter

the two of them with a fan, taken at the dog park, Ilya holding Anya and Shane with one arm around his husband's shoulder and the other trying to prevent Anya from licking the fan's face

Shane Hollander sitting on the Centaurs bench with blood on his face, mouth wide open, Ilya Rozanov gripping his chin and glaring at the gap where Shane's bottom canine used to be

Ilya Rozanov with his fist in the air after a goal, a smear of red in the corner of his mouth

sitting next to each other at team tape review, heads bent together, Ilya's hand on Shane's thigh, Shane's hands sketching out a play in the air

Ilya Rozanov leaning against his car in the airport arrivals line, a coffee in one hand and a forest-green smoothie in the other

Shane Hollander giving his husband the middle finger after losing the shot accuracy competition at ASG by half a second

piggyback racing across the yard with a Pike twin each clinging to their necks

Ilya Rozanov, outraged, with a face full of snow, as his husband doubles over with laughter

wearing identical blank expressions the seventeenth time a journalist asks about their "off-ice chemistry"

Shane Hollander throwing his head back and cackling in a booth at a random dive bar in a random city, Ilya Rozanov grinning into his drink

The coach takes him to the video room and puts the DVD in, "There's a kid in Russia, same age as you. They're saying he's the next Gordie Howe."

He presses play and they watch a shaky video of two Russian teams. Shane's heart starts racing as he watches. He can immediately tell who coach is talking about. One of them is clearly faster and smarter than the rest, moving through the defense with a slick confidence that Shane immediately finds fascinating.

"His name is uh," coach digs though a pile of paper, "Romanof or something." He finds what he's looking for, "Ilya Rozanov. He'll be draft eligible the same year you will."

Shane feels that same sense of determination, terror, and joy he always feels when one of his coaches talks about him getting drafted like it's a forgone conclusion. He keeps watching the kid on the ice, the same age as him, and very good, and also already set for the draft.

His play style is fascinating, and when his shift is over Shane grabs the remote to fast forward to the next time he gets on the ice, wanting to see more.

His coach laughs and claps him on the shoulder, "Don't worry about him too much. You won't be playing him for a couple of years."

So he starts sending Svetlana a bunch of messages with photos of the recipe book, asking her to translate every word so he can make the dish perfectly.

Ilya is in tears just seeing the beautiful gesture his husband has had for him, and even more so when he realises the effort he put in to make sure it turned out perfectly. It doesn’t matter whether the recipe turned out well or badly, or whether it tastes exactly the same as his mother used to make it or not, the gesture itself is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for him.

At that moment, he knows that this is exactly one of the thousand reasons why he married this sweet and extremely thoughtful man.

This meme is me thinking about this and then writing it:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

gosh I enjoy this website

We also know that Shane has fantasies about Ilya Wet and Jerking It. (To be clear: This is my interpretation of the shower scene at the end of episode 4. I have Thoughts.)

So my question is for Ilya and it's: Hey dude. How long did it take you to remember THAT look on your Schroedinger's Boyfriend's face and realize how much he would actually genuinely like to watch you jerk off. Definitely didn't happen during their hookup era because Shane would have whined and scowled and probably ghosted for a bit if Ilya wanted to waste one of their precious few meetups on mutual masturbation. The order of operations for Shane goes: 1: Blowjob To Warm It Up 2: Dick in Ass 3: Give it to me baby 4 (optional): Showerhead shower head 5: Make NO EYE CONTACT as the beautiful slutty butterfly returns to the safety of his athleisure chrysalis. So we're working with a very narrow margin of error and absolutely no space for Antics.