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An Elder Centaur: Hey Luca man you can't drink while we're in America you aren't 21 yet.

Luca: Ah no it's ok, I have actually stopped drinking much recently.

An Elder Centaur: ...What do you mean stopped? When did you even start? We drafted you at 18?

Luca: I mean I started at like, 15, so yeah, thought I'd slow down now that I am a professional player. I'll just have a beer.

An Elder Centaur: Beer is still alcohol?

Luca: Eh, is it really though?

Just because your parents resigned to a life of unhappiness doesn’t mean you need to do the same. 

This may sound a little bit harsh and of course it does not apply to every single parent out there - but I believe that openly saying this can be really important for those who do have parents like that. 

The type of parent who casually says stuff like

„I don’t get why this whole lesbian thing even matters so much, it’s not like I am attracted to your father either. We can not stand each other but we make it work!“ 

„You kids break up so quickly today, he only slapped you once. I took beatings and now I have three kids with that man. Our generation still understood the concept of forgiveness.“ 

„It just feels so extreme to change your name just so you can feel happier. What does that even mean? Do you think I am happy with my life? I am miserable every day, that’s just what adulthood is like“. 

„I don’t even know how you come up with all these thoughts about your own  identity. I don’t have that much free time on my hands. I wanted to be a music teacher but then I got pregnant and my parents pulled me out of school, and I haven’t had the luxury to think about my own dreams ever since. And what a blessing that is, because if I thought about it too long, I’d just cry!“ 

These are very specific examples obviously, to drive the point home, but you see the common pattern: this type of parent is unfulfilled or even resentful of how their life turned out - but somehow they think it’s a virtue. 

it can be a tricky place as a kid: you may feel deeply sorry for them and at the same time also be annoyed, hurt or angry. These pieces of lore about your parents life can be heartbreaking to think about - the realization that your parent isn’t just your parent but a whole person with their own story hits hard anyway, but that hit can be especially painful when you realize you kind of pity that person. 

But then again, while the lore is pitiful, their conclusion can also be really upsetting. And so you may be torn between „I am sorry you’re stuck in a loveless marriage and never got to get the education and career you wanted“ and „You think you are wise, I think you need therapy“. 

However, this letter isn’t so much about their life or happiness, it’s about yours - and I just want you to know that you deserve happiness and fulfillment and love, even if your parent has given up on it. You are allowed to chase happiness. You are allowed to work towards your dreams. You are allowed to try your best to live a life aligned to you, not to what society expects of you. You are allowed to prioritize yourself. 

You are allowed to break the cycle, even if your parent couldn’t. 

With all my love, 

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Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

BUT THEN MY MAN, HEATHCLIFF MARLEAU, LAID SHANE HOLLANDER SMOOOOOV OUT WITH HIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BODY AND BROKE HIS COLLARBONE AND CANCELLED THEM PLANS AND SENT THAT COFFIN STRAIGHT TO THE WOODCHIPPER