Her brows furrowed. "That's not the whole thing, is it?"
Placing her hands on her hips, she cornered Jeremiah in the back of Philos. Xavier had kept quiet about the sword but he was out more frequently than he had ever been. When she had tried to ask, he diverted the conversation entirely until she had given up trying.
Jeremiah smiled sheepishly. "I could tell you myself, but wouldn't it be better for you to hear it from Xavier yourself?"
"You're scared of him," she said bluntly, slapping her hand on the counter. She leaned, crowding him in. "You told me plenty of other things before. Why is this so different?"
Jeremiah pulled back, "It was dangerous for him! He could have died, and you know it! If he weren't listening to me, then of course he would have listened to you."
"Who else wouldn't be afraid of Captain?" Came Sullivan's voice. She had forgotten he was there. He was tending to something in the corner, far away from them. "Captain can be intimidating, and this subject is a sore one for him."
Jeremiah sagged against the counter, grateful for Sullivan's intervention. Leaving them to tend to the customers entering the shop, she found herself looking towards Sullivan.
She was still getting used to him. He was more manageable than Isaiah, having a deeper, calmer demeanor than the other Backtrackers she had come to know. His words made her remember the intimidating aura Xavier gave off in waves when she first met Sullivan.
Sullivan was right, and she never wanted to be on the receiving end of such a situation.
"All I ask is a little help. I want to learn it," she nearly pleaded. She realized what he held, the badge Xavier had given him before they shut down Soren's plans.
"Even if it dredges up old memories? If you haven't noticed, Captain has always been looking forward. Never back. Ironic given the name we took up." Sullivan gave a short laugh.
She flinched, but her eyes flashed with determination. "What if I paid you for it?"
"To look for it. That's what your agency does, right? Think of it as a job. I'll put in a proper request," she said with hope in her voice. "You wouldn't actually need to find it. It'll be a cover and-"
"Think of what you're asking first." Sullivan paused. He turned in his chair to face her fully, his lips a harsh line. "Xavier has been looking for you for a very long time. He couldn't afford to look back. If he did, he would have gotten second thoughts. He wouldn't have made it this far without pressing forward. Do you get it? Please don't make light of the Captain's feelings here. If you're truly curious, do the work and ask him yourself."
She flinched, and a hint of regret flickered in his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He got out of his chair. He extended his hand before it froze mid-way, falling helplessly to his side. "That was a bit mean," he said before she could ask.
"No, I get it. I appreciate the honesty." Her eyes glanced in the direction Jeremiah had gone. "Are you going to help him?"
"And play florist?" He shook his head. "I'm only here until Isaiah arrives."
She frowned slightly. "You guys let him wander by himself now?"
"He has someone he's trying to impress," Sullivan snorted slightly. At her raised brow, he shook his head. "He's fine. We're being careful." He paused for a moment, fist to his mouth. "If you need any advice… I can give you some but don't expect it to work."
She stepped inside her apartment, remembering this was the last place she had seen him.
At his name, he peered from his book. "What is it?" He made himself comfortable on a heap of blankets and pillows on the futon she hadn't put up from the night before. Distracted by the movie and the acts of a certain bunny, she had forgotten about it. Though he never minded the disarray. No matter the environment, he always managed to look picture perfect, his innocent eyes dazzling.
"Do you mind if I wash your hair?" In her hands, she held a bottle of shampoo. "It's my treat for the barbecue."
The light brightened in his eyes as he sat up. "Really?" He reached for it, grasping air as she pulled it back at the last second. He pouted. "Why are you teasing me? I thought this was my reward for takeout."
She leaned in, brushing her nose against his. "It is, but if you knew what it was, it would spoil the surprise."
Suspicion surfaced in the depths of his eyes. Leaning in, hand placed at the small of her back, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Is it the one you always use? The one with strawberries?" He murmured against her skin. Coiling a loose strand of hair on his finger, he tugged as a cat would with a toy, "or is it something else just as sweet?"
She fought the butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the lull of his voice. Hand on his shoulder, she asked, "Have you been reading my books?" She blushed at the thought of Xavier perusing through her bookshelf. "Now I think you're trying to sweep me off my feet with sweet nothings."
"I don't think they're nothings." He lifted her with ease. Startled, she hooked her nails to hold on. She could feel his smile against her skin, his knuckles skimming across her spine. "Is it working?" He asked, hopeful.
"Xavier," she warned, digging further. But she was filled with laughter, her eyes dancing with joy. "Put me down, or I won't do this for you." She eyed the book discarded on the blankets. It was a story she had read several times. It had fallen on one of her favorite pages, the impression so deeply engraved that the book was forced to open unnaturally to it every time.
"Ow," he winced, setting her down.
Immediately, she let go, checking… to see his eyes filled with mischief. She lightly tapped his shoulder, "Soon you'll lose out!"
He rested his forehead against hers. "I think a cunning fox is luring a bunny into her trap."
She fought the urge to swallow. Did he see right through me? Sullivan had promised her this was one of the few ways to let his guard down, a moment of relaxation.
"Only you have that sway over our Captain. Over all of us. Don't forget that." Sullivan's voice played back in her ears.
"But you willingly fell in. Can it still be a trap if the bunny followed me of his own will?" She teased, filled with resolve. Pressing against him with a voice so low was near to a purr in his ear, she murmured, "I guess Xavier doesn't want it then."
He shuddered. Several emotions flashed across his face, and her feet curled as she watched a gentle smile spread across his lips. It was his eyes that drew her, the gleam within them as his arm wrapped around her waist, igniting a small flame in her abdomen. "Let's go."
She didn't have a choice in the matter as he stood up. She relaxed in his hold, wrapping her arms around his neck, her lips against his temple. "Someone's excited." The world blurred around her before they came to stop in her bathroom. She quirked a brow. "You used your evol?"
Mirth filled his gaze. "As you said, I am excited." He placed her down on the sink, reaching to pull his shirt off.
She nearly panicked. "What're you doing?"
"I'm taking my shirt off?" Xavier tilted his head, studying her expression. "I wouldn't want it to get too wet."
She felt her courage leave her as his hand hovered at the hem of his shirt; a blush settled along her cheekbones, her hand curling around the shampoo loosely, as if she was having second thoughts. He knew the look all too well. Her brows knitted together, a glimpse of teeth as she bit down on her lower lip. Her mind was scrambling, failing to latch on to the here and now.
"Hey." Xavier cupped one side of her face and nuzzled her. Her hair was soft against his cheek, and the scent of home filled his senses. "I'm here," he murmured. He pulled back to see she was finding her way back, focus returning to her eyes. "You're back," he said with a smile. "Try not to zone out here."
"Yeah," she said. Turning her face into his palm, she pressed a kiss to it. "Thanks for guiding me."
"Hm." His eyes flickered to the shampoo. "Did you add more to the bucket list you mentioned a while back?" He chuckled as she quickly shook her head. His fingers wove through her hair, his gaze tender, "Do you want to continue? Or maybe you want me to do this for you?"
She was shocked that he remembered that old list. She had long since scrapped it the day they returned from their mission. The twenty-one days it took for Xavier to cement their relationship with a kiss she would never forget. She didn't need it anymore. Her perfect boyfriend was right here.
She straightened up, steel forming in her back. "I've thought about it," she said slowly. "I thought to myself, who was taking care of Xavier while he had to support himself and his fellow Backtrackers?"
His eyes darkened. "You don't have to-"
She silenced him with a finger to his lips with a light smile. "I want to." Gathering one of his hands, she massaged small circles into the palm and the back of it, "He needs to learn to relax. To expose himself a little more as I have." She traced callouses along his knuckles, brushed her lips against every bump. "It's just the two of us here."
She met his gaze, watching the inner turmoil he wrestled with. She knew she won the battle when the rigidity in his shoulders relaxed, the subtle light returning to his gaze. "Okay."
She blinked. "That's it?"
"Were you expecting more?" He shook his head, a light chuckle escaping him. "I can't say no when you put it like that."
Xavier's breath went shallow at the first touch of fingers against his scalp. She was so focused on his task that she neglected to notice his hands tightly clutching the sink's basin. His skin felt much too tight, yet it was relaxed at the same time, a sense of pleasure washing over him.
His gaze lowered, pupils dilating as he leaned fully into her touch.
"Are you still with me?" Her voice barely reached through the haze clouding his mind.
His lashes rose, veiled by his damp hair. "Yeah." A rough whisper. That warmth. His eyes fluttered. He felt like he was basking in the sun's intense rays. The way her hands handled him—treated him in a way that was precious but also devoted.
Ten minutes into it, his eyes had gone heavy-lidded—he felt her fingers beneath his chin, encouraging him to tilt back. He let her take charge, seeing the intense look on her face.
"Would you be this focused if we showered together?" He asked. The words stumbled out unfiltered, unashamed. He tried to stop them. He couldn't.
He watched the flush take root in her cheeks and spread to her shoulders. But she didn't shy away. She had almost finished with her care, the space filled with sweetness and flowers. She cradled his face, delicately brushing his hair from his eyes. "Yes. I would be." She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Now I need you to get up and out."
"Yeah?" He smiled lazily, resting his head against her shoulder. Ignoring her fidgeting, he nuzzled her, "I don't want to leave. If I leave" -his hands found her waist, tightly gripping her hips- "it'll stop and I don't want it."
"It doesn't have to stop here."
Anticipation filled his gaze.
"But. If you want it to continue, you have to be more open with me."
"Another trap?" He would willingly fall into it if it meant he would get this attention. He craved it, his heart a drum against his chest. He locked eyes with her, pressing a kiss to her finger. "How many more are there?"
Her eyes went soft. "No more traps." She draped a towel over his head as she took his hand. She tugged and he let her dragged him into the living room. "Let's be more open remember."
His hand crept to the back of his neck as he sank back on the futon, "Right." Open. How difficult could that be? He stared at his reflection back in her gaze. The seriousness within them. He let the towel fall to the floor, inhaling softly. "Where do you want to start?"
"Philos," she started slowly. "Who was I to you?"
Everything. His world. The reason for his journey. Be as it may, he may have set out to save Philos but in doing so, he knew it would save her as well. Two in one. Yet he cared nothing for his family and the people who sought to use her sacrifice. The light receded from his gaze, his hands knitted together into a tight fist.
She seemed to have seen the answer in his eyes. A strange disquiet took root in her expression and he regretted showing as much.
"I remember bits and pieces," she said. She fought past it with a light smile. She shifted closer, rested her head against his shoulder. "Did we stargaze?"
"We hardly had the opportunity. We had busy lives."
"Were. My title means nothing here." He tried to identify why he felt at peace with that. No burdens. No deceit. The collar around him was broken and he was free with what came with it. The many weights upon his shoulders had fallen with the disappearance of the statue.
"Did we… make it to that step?" Her voice broke through his thoughts.
His throat moved as he squeezed his eyes shut. "If I were more direct, perhaps we would have." He would never forget the last conversation they had. The jealousy he felt for this other she mentioned but he knew then by the end of it. The light in her eyes when they shifted towards him, her flustered expression. The signs were there.
It took conscious effort to return his gaze back to hers, the intimacy of them blinding.
"Breathe." She framed his face in her hands.
He inhaled a shaky breath, rapid and shallow.
She pressed her forehead against his. Every fiber of his being focused on her—centered around her. His knuckles grazed her cheek in a butterfly caress. "I-"
"It's okay," she whispered. She leaned in to sip a kiss from his lips. So soft and sweet, it nearly swept him off his feet. It left him wanting more. "You have me now," she said against them.
"I do. But why does it feel you will slip away from me if I don't hold onto you?" He croaked in a broken whisper. She was tangible—held tightly in his embrace. Not one of those phantoms that haunted his dreams at night.
He watched her eyes began to glisten, invoking a pain so visceral, it nearly tore him apart. "I'm not supposed to make you cry."
He pulled back, just a little, to wipe his face. There they were, traitorous tears on the back of his hand. "I don't cry," he said in almost disbelief.
She leaned in, tenderly brushing them away with her lips. "Xavier." Cradling the back of his head with a hand, the other cupping his cheek, she said, "When is the last time you have allowed your shields down? When have you allowed yourself to be you? No Prince."
"No crown," he said breathlessly, never tearing his gaze from hers, falling into their depths.
"Just Xavier." They said together. No lies. No deceit. No mask of tight restraint. He couldn't stop himself for closing the distance, his lips firmly on hers. To claim what he should have centuries ago.
This felt like a first kiss in many ways, tentative but still sweet, finding out who they were in their private space but with a edge laced with want; his half-lidded gaze darkening with possession and anticipation.
They parted with a hushed lick of a sound.
Her eyes remained closed, skin flushed as her body went limp in a way that was languid as he supported the small of her back. A part of him was happy and pleased to see that dopey expression on her face as she bit down on her lower lip.
"I suck at this…," she whispered.
"I wasn't supposed to cry."
"I wasn't supposed to either."
They shared a quiet laugh, foreheads touching. Lacing his fingers with hers, he held her hand firmly to his cheek, he said, "We can both bad at it together."
"But you aren't bad at this…"
"Hm?" His brows hiked, his expression innocent.
Her blush spread to her collarbone as she ducked, hiding her face. "
"There's no need to be shy." Like a cat who got the cream, he smiled, brushing the tip of his nose against hers. He chuckled in a lucid tone that he knew she loved. "Let me see your face, Starlight."
She went slack, staring at him.
"Did… I say something wrong?" He scratched the side of his cheek, uncertain. It sounded… right. The most brilliant light in his orbit, one he would always marvel.
She framed his face, squeezing his cheeks. "Say it again."
She smiled with joy, matching the name, and smothered him with a kiss that left him breathless. "Keep calling me that, Xavier," she purred in his ear. Teeth scraped the shell making him shudder. "And I will show you exactly what your star can do."
