shit man i fuckin love being a big gay wizard

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

I’m afraid some of ya’ll just don’t have the freak gene that lets you enjoy ACTUAL enemies to lovers. Ya’ll think that trope is just like coworkers fighting over a promotion or smth like no give me people that have tried to maim and kill one another or give me nothing

What do you guys do for work. Job share time. I want to know

Everyone makes fun of the millennial overpriced burger restaurants but the worst part is that they got you hooked on some bullshit and promptly shut down because their polycule broke up or whatever. You’ll never get to eat the caramelized onion apple parmesan sex bomb burger again. And it was $23 and good.

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

I once called a colleague's Borzoi a beautiful Gentle Alien, assuming the term had long since become commonplace outside of Tumblr, and discovered when he burst into delighted laughter at the term that it Had Not. I had to explain to him that I'm not a comedy genius, just repeating a niche meme.

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Real sound! No stupid music! You can hear it say moo!

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

can't believe it's only tuesday. it feels like it should be at least wednesday and honestly really thursday

Happy feels like it should be at least wednesday and honestly really thursday tuesday